4yr olds in pushchairs

[SEH23]

aaaaahhh!!! i made my annual trip into the town shopping centre for christmas shopping today with my 5 month old DD.

LIFTS!! wow i hate them more than ever. waiting alongside 4 other pushchairs and then the mom with her 3-4yr old in pushchair pushes infront of me... WHAT?!?

a) wait your fucking turn
b) do you really need a buggy for children that old?

i hate my pushchair and can't wait for my DD to start walking so i can leave it behind. absolutely acknowledge shopping centres are busy etc but this child looked miserable, had a dummy stuck in his mouth and could be on reigns? surely?

There's no excuse for rudeness and pushing in front of people.

However, there's no excuse for making wild generalisations about the age of children in pushchairs either. You simply don't know how old the children are or the circumstances.

ds2 (who grew up to be 6ft 4) looked at least 4 when he was only two. He now has two very tall dds of his own and while my eldest dgd was happily out of her buggy by the time she was 3, this was mainly because they live in the centre of town where long distance walks were rarely necessary. For all that, my ddil got tutted at by the Buggy Police when dgd1 was barely 2. As indeed did I with ds2.

I don't actually think that children should be in buggies long after they are needed but you can't make judgemental assumptions about complete strangers. My next door neighbour refused to allow her ds to come out of the buggy until quite a while after he'd started school at 5. But she had all sorts of other issues around his independence so at least I knew the circumstances.

I got rid of pushchair because people (mainly car drivers) told me I didn't need it. Then I had to buy a new cheapie when ds was 4 because I didn't have a car, he was a bolter and there was no one to leave him with when I went shopping. There was no internet grocery delivery at that point and I physically couldn't manage shopping and him. The pushchair gave me choices when we were out. He didn't like going in it (unless he was sleepy) so it provided me with a sanction. Sometimes he was tired but we still had to fetch other ds from school bus. Good parenting was getting to the bus on time, not having to wrestle with a recalcitrant four year old as we walked by a main road.

By the time he was five he was walking 2.5 miles a day (round trip to school) and is a very good walker.

It's about choices. I chose not to use up all my energy trying to stop my lovely bolter from running away, hiding, etc in the city. That meant I had the energy to take him to the park, the museum, make stuff at home and that not all our interactions were angry.

I hate these threads. My dc eat all their veg, but that's not because I'm a good parent. It's because I'm lucky. Imagine if we could offer each other a bit of compassion and generosity! As R D Laing said, we only see each other's behaviour, not their experience.

as others have said parents should do what they want . nothing to do with anyone else. i do anything to make my life easyer. when my 7 year old is son is not well he will get in his sister pink pushchair for the school run. he dont care if hes friends see him or anything. good on him :)

Lets give those who never used a buggy when their child was over such a such age or dummy etc etc a shiny superior badge, end of day it means sweet fuck all. Come back and remind us when they are teenagers because it will still mean SFA then too.

Rather than 'lazy' I prefer to think of myself as 'efficient'. People seem to love giving themselves extra work for no reason. Then bitching when others choose not to.

It does seem the MN line of 'my DC never used a buggy after 14 months' blah blah blah is a complete load of crap when you actually look around you. My DD1 is a big (just turned 3) my DD2 is a few months old. I need my P&T for my sanity without it we would be late/tired/grumpy all the time. Almost everyone I know uses a buggy some of the time for their 3 year old. I walk a lot some people don't, it does not make you a bad/lazy parent. We don't know the circumstances of other people and quite frankly it's none of your business!!

I used a buggy twice when my DS was 4. We went to Disney Land Paris and also to Amsterdam for a week. He had a problem with the tendons in his ankles and walked on tip toes all the time. He was fine most of the time, but he struggled if we were out for a full day - his legs and lower back got really sore and painful.

I don't recall being judged or looked at in any funny way by anyone when he was in the buggy. OP must just be a one off lol.

I also put him in a buggy at the age of 6 in the airport at Doha (Qatar). We had a transfer to the UK and had to wait from 9pm until 1am for our flight. If he had fallen asleep in a chair, I would have been stuck in 1 place for hours. I put him in an airport buggy and just wheeled him (with his legs dangling) to the restaurant, toilets etc - got some funny looks doing that, but I couldn't care less. Judge away - doesn't bother me.

Wow, my two most disliked judgy thread subjects.

My son had a dummy til gone five and was in a pushchair until a similar age. That would be because if additional needs, but great to know there are twats out there thinking it is just because I'm lazy.

I was also spectacularly pissed off when he had an awful accident when he was seven requiring surgery etc that we were both judged by him being pushed around in a pram. I don't drive but still had to cover miles of running around everyday with a very poorly child who couldn't be at school. And I can tell you, with the hills in Bristol, it's feck all to do with being lazy. But great to hear passers by slagging us off behind our backs. Twats.

My son is 3 and uses the pushchair for any distance over about 1/2 mile. He's about the size of an 18 month old though. When should I stop using the pushchair?

I like to walk to the nursery with a 3 and half yr old. But (although it is a country road with a 30 mph speed limit) the cars whizz past often doing 60mph. I have to cross this road where there are no pavements. Further on there is pavement but it is very narrow, and a wobble off could be fatal. Should I give up walking and go in the car? No, we find all sorts of things to look at on the way which those rushing by in cars miss.
But the child is in the push chair and still will be when 4 years old as I feel it is safer---if the motorists went slower we would both walk.

Hobbitfeet - when you judge it's the right time

YANBU re pushing I as it don't like that either.

However, YABU re pushchair. You don't know the circumstances of the other person using the pushchair. When we go out to town for a day trip, I still use a double push chair for my two DDs (4 and 2 at the time). Who wants to be carrying a tired/grumpy/sleepy child? When we go away next year, DDs will be 5 and 3, and I will still be using a double pushchair. I get tired walking the whole day, so have sympathy for my DDs when they get too tired to walk too!

My nearly 3yo walks everywhere. But he also loves to hide in clothes rails, run away, he hates getting trodden on by big people and randomly splays himself out on the floor to watch me stress out. But you're right about why people even attempt shopping with toddlers, although they may have been on a very specific mission for something. I think yabu, sorry! It's a lot easier for you too use a sling and walk up the stairs really.

OP, you sound delightful.

I was pushing DS1 (6) in the pushchair on the school run (with my three others - he's the eldest). A lady bent down, looked him straight in the eye and said, 'Aren't you a bit old to be in there?'

I answered that he'd had an emergency appendectomy the previous day.

You just have no idea sometimes. But there's no excuse for the rudeness.

I do so wish I didn't still need my pushchair. I'm 18 and it really pisses me off. Can't wait until I can walk properly.
Dawndonna's dd.

How do people manage without a pushchair? D'S is 5 and we still use it regularly. We live in zone 2 in London and often walk to Central London and back, spend the day walking around shops, parks and museums. I got a pedometer on my phone and on average we walk around 10 miles per day. I also end up with shopping bags on most trips, so hang them on pushchair together with umbrellas, coats and bags with drinks and snacks. Do people really manage to spend a whole day walking around without their kids getting tired?

Dawndonnaagain I always think your posts are well written and make me think.

OP, another mum here who has an older looking kid.

Everyone else, what goes around comes around. The OP will find out when her kid is old enough! karma.

@Agent, I'd still like to hear from 4everDepressed what she actually did.

The people I know who had kids out of buggy at truly young age had all sorts of restrictions on their mobility & lives that I couldn't put up with. Their whole lifestyle was different from what I would like. Very dependent on car or bus services or relatives, didn't go out much and other stuff too.