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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4yr olds in pushchairs

383 replies

SEH23 · 17/11/2014 15:55

aaaaahhh!!! i made my annual trip into the town shopping centre for christmas shopping today with my 5 month old DD.

LIFTS!! wow i hate them more than ever. waiting alongside 4 other pushchairs and then the mom with her 3-4yr old in pushchair pushes infront of me... WHAT?!?

a) wait your fucking turn
b) do you really need a buggy for children that old?

i hate my pushchair and can't wait for my DD to start walking so i can leave it behind. absolutely acknowledge shopping centres are busy etc but this child looked miserable, had a dummy stuck in his mouth and could be on reigns? surely?

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 17/11/2014 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IsabellaRoarsome · 17/11/2014 16:13

Yanbu about the pushing in that's just plain rude!
Yabu reguarding the pushchair, age of child etc... My own dd is very tall for her age and looked ridiculous in a buggy from 2.5 up but still very much needed one especially when out shopping as her legs wouldn't have lasted long before getting tired and she was also a bolter! Confused The pushchair was used till she was 3.5 for her safety and my sanity!

Original poster
SEH23 · 17/11/2014 16:13

not my first, i have a 2.7yr old and as haven't used her pushchair for about a year now. but i also don't take her shopping in the city as i don't see it fun for her at all.

i was on bus, late picking up from pre school and just rattled about this parent. the mom who pushed in was on my bus, she lives locally and child has no additional needs (know her through friends).

maybe it's the dummy that annoyed me more, or the whole thing. pushchair, shopping and dummy. have never used a dummy with mine though so maybe it's personal.

apologies to all those upset- was not my intention just needed a good moan about a lazy mother i know!!!

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 17/11/2014 16:13

And, just in case nobody has pointed it out, it's "reins" not "reigns".

Stuckonthebaby · 17/11/2014 16:13

YABU (well not about the pushing in). Look back on this post when you need to take your 3/4 year old christmas shopping in a few years. If mine is willing bribed into staying in a pushchair and it makes my life easier to quickly run around the shops, who are you or anyone else to judge? Oh and even if my 3yr old is walking we often take the lifts because, well, pushing buttons is fun!

Allstoppedup · 17/11/2014 16:14

Pretty much what everyone else has said. Try not to judge, children and their needs vary so widely so don't make assumptions.

She was v. Rude to push in but might have just been in a world of her own. Not an excuse but can happen.

I also HATE my pushchair, I get very anxious out and about and can be very clumsy with it (especially used to dread public transport!) I would really recommend a carrier/ wrap/ sling. I hardly ever use my buggy now. Check and see if there is a sling meet near to you. It honestly made me enjoy outings with my DS so much more.

RiverTam · 17/11/2014 16:14

if you are 100% sure that the child was 4, and that there were no SEN, then YANBU.

But you can't be sure. And anyway - I used my buggy on and off once DD turned 3, but I only ditched it completely after she was 4. But for a long necessary shopping trip, they are a godsend. Not everyone has someone they can leave their DC with when shopping needs to happen, and a tired child in a pushchair is better than a tired child being dragged about.

I'm not a fan of non-sleeping daytime dummies for toddlers and older, especially when the child is talking through it, but I have no idea whether they might be used for SEN reasons.

RandallFloyd · 17/11/2014 16:16

Tell you what, OP, you wait until your 3yo decides they don't want to walk and sits their 2 1/2 stone of grumpiness on the pavement. I can't wait to see you carry them and all your shopping bags half a mile home.

Big up to all the parents who've been there Grin

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 17/11/2014 16:16

shopping and dummy. have never used a dummy with mine though so maybe it's personal

first had dummy until four, brilliant speaker no issues at all. second no dummy at all we shall see..

op, get over it, you sound really annoying and judgemental and irritating.

hazeyjane · 17/11/2014 16:17

Have lost power to see rest of thread on my phone, so not sure what general feeling is, but - dummies, lazy mothers, 4 year old in buggy, 'my child stopped using buggy at 18 months' yadayadayada...

...what a judgy load of horse crap.

mummymeister · 17/11/2014 16:17

".. a good moan about a lazy mother..." because she has an older child in a pram on a shopping trip with a dummy in. a shopping trip you wouldn't attempt with your toddler because they would be bored. who knows, she might not have a perfect family life where she can leave the child at home and knowing he/she was going to be bored and might act up stuck them in the pushchair with their favourite dummy just to get through the hell that is Christmas shopping. we all do what we need to to get through it all. it doesn't make people lazy mothers, just different. if you know this woman well enough to know that her child doesn't have additional needs then why the hell didn't you speak up when she pushed in. friendly smile? sorry love but I think I was here first?

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 17/11/2014 16:17

I can't wait to see you carry them and all your shopping bags half a mile home

I just got toddler in reigns its too late she wont walk in them and she is a bolter.

I also cannot carry her I get dreadful migraines and these are set off by doing certain things as odd as it sounds, carrying too much is one of them.

katiekatie · 17/11/2014 16:18

Most people keep their buggy for years for that just in case moment, like when you have to pick up from school & littlies got tonsillitis (at age 4 thank god I kept it, too heavy to carry). I remember one girl in my Ds class who's mum used to bring the buggy every day for her in reception & year 1 & only stopped cod she was getting teased

Legionofboom · 17/11/2014 16:18

And, just in case nobody has pointed it out, it's "reins" not "reigns"

Why would anyone bother to point that out?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 17/11/2014 16:18

On the pushing in front of you side of things - YANBU.

On the other points - fuck off.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 17/11/2014 16:18

she might not have a perfect family life where she can leave the child at home

Yes thats true here no one to leave dc with at all.

RandallFloyd · 17/11/2014 16:19

Oh I see, you 'know' her.
Well, judge away then.

pissinmy2shoes · 17/11/2014 16:20

wow op you are so perfect

raltheraffe · 17/11/2014 16:20

My husband is blind and he takes ds (3) out in a pushchair because he would struggle to adequately supervise him near roads if he ran off. DH does not "look blind" (for want of a better description) and when he does not have the white cane he just looks like a normal dad pushing a toddler in a pram.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 17/11/2014 16:21

Katie we have a long ish walk to school a good half hour 40 mins...I just wanted to get it done and it was not safe for bike or scooter, so we used buggy ( nursery) by reception I had a car. I heard little biy saying to his mum why was dd in buggy, as he walked....to his car, but he was only little so I let that go.

sneepy · 17/11/2014 16:22

A. Do your Xmas shopping online.
B. You can't tell how old a child is by its size.
C. Wait til your kid is a whiny 3yo and then come back and talk about going Xmas shopping without a buggy.
D. Get a grip.

EdYouKateShaun · 17/11/2014 16:22

Even taking into consideration that you now 'know' the mother in question, you are still being so judgemental. Maybe she's not lazy? Maybe the child doesn't sleep well and she's knackered. Maybe she has additional stress in her life and the dummy helps her to cope. Maybe she uses the dummy only for nap / boring shopping trips and exercises fabulous dental care in all other aspects.

Someone, somewhere is judging you for something OP.

ouryve · 17/11/2014 16:22

You'd have loved me with my (then) 7yo in a buggy, OP. I even took him out without stamping "SN" on his forehead so it looked like i was a really lazy mum who was so lazy she preferred to push 4 stone of child up a hill in his buggy, instead of making him walk. Hmm

The goady fuckers loved that.

RandallFloyd · 17/11/2014 16:23

Hold the phone.
Your child is 2.7 and hasn't used a pushchair for a year?
Oh come on!

My DS is 3.3. I take him to pre-school in his push chair most mornings. If it gets him there happily rather than dragging him down the road screaming it'll do for me.

But then I'm a shit parent so what do I know about picking battles.

Allstoppedup · 17/11/2014 16:24

When I last posted I thought maybe you were just a being a little bit naive. After your last post you sound very unfair and judgemental and like you are drip feeding!

Suddenly you 'know' the lazy mother, through friends (although I doubt this means you are privvy to ALL of this child's needs based on this) you are annoyed at her use of dummy and the fact she took her child shopping despite it not being 'fun'. I don't have the luxury of leaving my DS at home, lots of people don't.

Again, I say don't judge others, it's none of your business and it might be time to get down off you high horse!