Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4yr olds in pushchairs

383 replies

SEH23 · 17/11/2014 15:55

aaaaahhh!!! i made my annual trip into the town shopping centre for christmas shopping today with my 5 month old DD.

LIFTS!! wow i hate them more than ever. waiting alongside 4 other pushchairs and then the mom with her 3-4yr old in pushchair pushes infront of me... WHAT?!?

a) wait your fucking turn
b) do you really need a buggy for children that old?

i hate my pushchair and can't wait for my DD to start walking so i can leave it behind. absolutely acknowledge shopping centres are busy etc but this child looked miserable, had a dummy stuck in his mouth and could be on reigns? surely?

OP posts:
Partydilemmas · 17/11/2014 20:38

Shop online. Problem solved.

Frusso · 17/11/2014 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LurcioAgain · 17/11/2014 20:45

Funny, was talking about this to a friend the other day - she was recalling an occasion on which she was reduced to tears by someone having a go at her for having her 4 year old in a pushchair. She was waiting for test results. Age 14, and he spents quite a lot of his time in a motorised wheelchair, due to muscular dystrophy.

Why can't people just mind their own fucking business?

PatButchersLostEaring · 17/11/2014 20:47

It came up in my safeguarding course today, not hosted by our county's LADO but someone based on hospital.

I'd never considered this before but I promise, it was raised on the course.

I will read the full thread and will be on hand with an apology if my views are changed by it.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/11/2014 20:47

We had to stop going to zoo with DD as she had to use SN buggy and last time we went it was busy and everyone stared at us and loads of kids giggled and it just got too much.

Thurlow · 17/11/2014 20:49

Maybe we should flip it around the judge parents whose toddlers are walking around the shop as they've probably driven there, rather than walking, and so their kids haven't had much fresh air and didn't stop for a run in the park on the way to the shops during the 3 hours they were out of the house that morning?

SquirrelSwarm · 17/11/2014 20:51

My second child was still falling asleep in the buggy on the afternoon school run until he was four. He used to walk to the buggy instead of the door when he needed a nap. Two minutes pushing and he'd be asleep. Instead of having a fucking nap at home when I needed it. I sold the buggy and took the non sleeping pain. Couldn't bear it so started driving him round after morning nursery and promptly got a flat tyre miles from nowhere, no phone signal, sleeping child in car seat. No buggy, no sling. That was a bugger and a half.

hazeyjane · 17/11/2014 20:53

So Pat, at the safeguarding course, what reasons did they give for it being a signifier for possible neglect?

I am curious, because to me there are a lot of reasons I can think of before I would think about neglect - illness, stamina of child, long journey, having a child who is a bolter, disability, undiagnosed sn, safety (eg having to juggle several children near busy roads or in a busy shopping centre) - I am sure there a lot more reasons.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 17/11/2014 20:58

Yes, definitely a safe guarding issue.

Keeping a child safe in a buggy in a busy shopping mall. How shocking.

PatButchersLostEaring · 17/11/2014 21:00

It was implied by the tutor that an older child in a buggy with a dummy in its mouth would be demanding less time of its carer and some may rely on these tools to continually exclude and ignore their child.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle · 17/11/2014 21:01

Really Pat? The tutor could imply all that from a 5 second view of a child? Honestly?

meglet · 17/11/2014 21:02

DS was in the buggy until he was 4.6yrs. No SN and he's tall. I don't like to use the car, we walk to the supermarket, I'm a LP with very little time.

He's just turned 8, has the legs of a gazelle and I'm sure he'd love to take you on at parkrun, and unless you're a runner, he'd probably beat you Wink. and he'll beat my pb in a 3/4 years.

Using a buggy long term probably means you're not using a car. The child can hop in and out en route. More exercise than sitting in a car.

helensburgh · 17/11/2014 21:03

She was wrong to push in front but the age of her child is obviously irrelevant.

I have a 6 year old using a buggy.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 17/11/2014 21:05

It came up in my safeguarding course today, not hosted by our county's LADO but someone based on hospital.I'd never considered this before but I promise, it was raised on the course
I will read the full thread and will be on hand with an apology if my views are changed by it

Now give the context of how it was explained in the course (I already know the context but you have misrepresented it).

ChippingInAutumnLover · 17/11/2014 21:06

SEH23 How sweet you have an older DD. How come you have never mentioned her before? Just you, DH & BabyDD? It's incredible how quickly they grow isn't it - and how much you forget...did you think maybe the advice on how to clean their first teeth had changed a lot in 2 years, so much so you needed to ask what you should do?

hazeyjane · 17/11/2014 21:06

Well Pat, that tutor needs (IMO) to be challenged on that view.

psychomum5 · 17/11/2014 21:10

So very refreshing to see the same old judgmental threads on pushchairs for older children, dummies, lazy parenting yadayadayada being hashed out on MN. Not here much in an age and STILL people start threads inciting flaming and hoisting or norks!

OP....you have figured by now you are being totally unreasonable haven;t you?? And probably hiding in shame for the judging....

WatchWithMerlot · 17/11/2014 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlinkAndMiss · 17/11/2014 21:16

What the hell is wrong with some people? Neglect? WTF?

OP the woman was rude for pushing in front of you. But that's it.

What the hell has it got to spell with you how old the child was in the pushchair or whether or not it had a dummy? Your oldest child has been walking everywhere for a year and you've never used a dummy - I'm sure your trophy is in the post.

My 2yo looks like he's about 4, he walks well. There is no way on this planet I will be taking him into the town centre for Xmas shopping without his pushchair. It's dangerous, he'll get stood on and will probably get lost.

I hope you look back on your views one day and realise just how judgemental you are being. Your OP may as well said 'a bad mother pushed in front of me, doesn't she realise that she shouldn't push in front of a perfect mother?'.

Whatever happened to being supportive of one another's choices, isn't this parenting lark hard enough as it is without being judged in public by other mothers?

PatButchersLostEaring · 17/11/2014 21:16

Don't worry pschosmum, I think I may be receiving the OPs flaming for her and yes, I've read the thread now and so sorry for any offence caused. I do as a non driving mum of a just walker feel a 'pet hate' being denied a bus ride when a older child is sitting next to their carer and there buggy sits empty whilst I'm left in the rain.

TeaPleaseBob · 17/11/2014 21:18

I have a bum shuffler here who at 18 months does not even pull up to standing. She's top of centiles for height and a right wee chatterbox so probably appears older. I don't imagine she'll be walking until about 2 and obviously unlikely to suddenly manage the 30 minute brisk walk into town a few times a week that I prefer to bunging her in the car. We'll be using a buggy/ carrier for a good while yet and anyone judging can bugger off and worry about the very many truly upsetting situations millions of children face daily. Being in a buggy is definitely not one of them! Hmm

TeaPleaseBob · 17/11/2014 21:22

Also having been on many child protection study days linked to work and through my training (and not finding any reliable info having just searched various journal archives) I can honestly say I've never heard of a link between older toddlers in buggies and neglect. I'm sure many children who are neglected are shoved in a buggy just as they're shoved in a cot/ playpen/ in front of tv/ generally just ignored but I've never heard of buggy use being some sort of reg flag to professionals. Happy to read any research that shows otherwise of course.

OP rude people jump queues which is annoying and YANBU but you haven't the faintest idea why that child was in a buggy and it's really none of your business so YABU.

CantBeBotheredThinking · 17/11/2014 21:25

Pat that is one thing I don't do. I deliberately use an umbrella fold so I can fold it and put it on the luggage rack. I like sitting upstairs so we can get a better view and chat about things.

girliefriend · 17/11/2014 21:25

Not read all 9 pages but yanbu to be annoyed at her pushing in but yabu to judge a mum and child you know nothing about.

Fwiw my dd was still in the buggy when she was 4yo, she still napped in it at that age and made sense if I had to pop into town to combine her nap with my shopping.

Tbh I miss the buggy now - was very handy to hang shopping bags on Wink and much easier to do shopping with a sleeping/contained child then a grumpy tired one!!

ghostspirit · 17/11/2014 21:27

pat i do 100% agree with you about the empty pushchair in the buggy space. times i have got on the bus empty buggy taking up space look for a child on the bus. and there he/she is at the back of the bus sitting next to mum. so mum wants a seat,child wants a seat and then want the buggy space to. times i have seem mums with little babys have to miss the bus because of people like that. really gets my goat and i dont even have a buggy or small baby !!!!!