To ask visitors to take their shoes off before coming into my home?

[moomin35]

Including my MIL who clearly didn't appreciate being asked!

I don't know how old you are Ze but where I'm from we all grew up taking shoes off automatically, so that from the early 1970s onwards. Maybe it's a regional thing. We all still do it when we go round each other's houses, it's only on mumsnet that I've encountered anyone who thinks it's a problem.
It really baffles me that some people would actually prefer their guests to walk dirt and germs into their house, I mean nobody's shoes are spotless underneath, why would you actively prefer for that to be walked in??

Its only on mn that I've heard about 'guest ready' and 'guest comfort'.
Its a strangely ott concept to me.
Guests come to see me/us because they like me/us.
They come to my house because they like/are ambivalent to the way I do things.
I don't work on my guest neediness readiness,and don't really give it a thought.
If its good for me and my family,it can't be too bad for guests -I'm aghast at how offended some people seem to be at being asked to take their shoes off.There's a reason for it after all!

Two words. Public toilets.

Come on in

I love a good shoe thread. I heartily wish we were a shoes off society. I think possibly we are in transition and will be by the time our kids are grown up. It seems to be the older generation who were brought up to feel undressed without their shoes on. Most of my generation (30s) seem to prefer shoes off. And there's a class thing too, obviously some people have staff to clean their floors and can afford new ones more often.

Same here. I was born in the early seventies. We would always take our shoes off when at someone's house.

Most people who come here do take their shoes off without being asked.

Well, that's a silly rule, Bogey, because you're unlikely to have the Queen "pop in" unless you have paid staff to clean for you! She's not likely to just rock up in her muddy, corgi-poo embellished wellies hoping for a cup of tea and a natter, is she? If she were to visit, it would be pre-arranged, and measures would be taken, surely?

I'm with Giles - definitely a shoes-off person. And if no-one wants to visit me because of it, then all fine and dandy with me! (I bloody hate people anyway MEHHH)!

I don't ask anyone to remove shoes (except for DS's teenage sons, who have regularly walked mud and poo through), but I prefer it if they do it voluntarily. Makes me all twitchy otherwise.

I grew up in, and still live in Ireland and I haven't met an Irish person of any age yet who wants shoes off in the house. Maybe that's why it seems weird and insulting to require it to me, like people can't just come as they are without hygiene requests or the assumption that they're dirty.

Mind you, I'd also feel nonplussed about sitting on furniture with plastic covers or bring asked to use a sterile gel before taking a cup in my hand.

Haven't read the full thread (don't think I need to as these always go the same way), but just wanted to add my tuppence. I hate taking my shoes in other people's houses. My feet end up freezing. I always ask if visiting for the first time but pray they'll laugh and tell me to keep them on, and if I'm going to be completely honest, I do judge if asked to take them off. I find it's quite a useful indicator as to whether we'll become good friends or not in the long term.

why would you actively prefer for that to be walked in??

I assume most people avoid nasties on the pavement and I don't give it much thought, and we and our flooring has never suffered.

I don't know how old you are Ze but where I'm from we all grew up taking shoes off automatically, so that from the early 1970s onwards. Maybe it's a regional thing.

Just Shy of 40 and with family literally over most of the UK and abroad with varying degrees of wealth. But it was the same wherever I went I literally have not come across house where shoes off was a big rule, due to laminate and cream carpets.

I don't think I had ever come across laminate either until then.

But it was the same wherever I went I literally have not come across house where shoes off was a big rule, due to laminate and cream carpets. sorry until mils houses.

No one's saying your dirty though.

I don't know what your town is like but here, there's litter there's dog shit, cigarette ends, vomit, food remains, piss in some corners even, chewing gum, spot, pigeon poo. You could be Kim. And again for all I care but that doesn't exempt you from having walked through the same path of crap go get to work or the shop or my house or to the car park as everyone else has.

You can't guarantee you have avoided it all. Especially when it's wet and it's washed all over the path or its dark.

Laminate isn't an issue anyway so I'm not sure where that has come from as a factor. Stilettos will damage real wood floors but won't do a thing to laminate, it's rock hard, that's one of the selling points.

Do people who like to keep their shoes on wear them all the time, in their own houses too?

I love kicking my shoes off at the front door and slipping into nice cosy slippers.

I do wonder where all the shoe wearers live. I honestly don't know a single one. In my family, it's the norm to bring your own slippers with you when visiting.

I wouldn't have to, Wish, I don't know people who are so ridiculous about their floors, thankfully. Not a problem when you don't hang out with dickheads.

It's genuinely interesting I think how we can be within a similar age range and have such different experiences of it, for me it's like keeping my coat on indoors, cumbersome and unnecessary. They same way I'd be weirded out of someone came in and had dinner with their coat on, I'd be weirded out if they kept their shoes on.
It's just so ingrained in me, when I enter a new house I just look for where the coats and shoes go, it wouldn't occur to me to keep them on.
But I can understand if you've grown up with the polar opposite experience it must seem equally weird when people want you to take your shoes off.
Sorry I'm rambling. Maybe originally there were only two families, the shoes off and the shoes on, and we are all just descendants of those two families :)

Shoe threads summed up:
"It's so rude to keep your shoes on in someone's home!"
"It's so rude to ask a guest to take their shoes off!"
Repeat ad infinitum.

I find it rude tbh. I don't like taking my shoes off, I feel awkward. And not to mention cold.

I don't get it, its not like I walk through mud

Well exactly carlson I don't have such arseholes in my immediate circle. Thankfully. Therefore I wouldn't want someone like you in my home in any case.

And again. The.Floors.Are.Not.Mine.

It's SO unwelcoming to be asked to take your shoes off. I find it really uncivilised and totally needless. Surely you sweep/steam your hard floors and vacuum your carpets most days? How many germs can linger on your floors if you clean them properly?

Do you also have plastic covers on your couch because you don't know where your guests arse has been?

I'm not sure that shoes do keep feet warm. Obviously big furry boots do, but I've been wearing some patent shoes lately and I swear my feet are colder with them on than without! I've googled does patent conduct the cold but there's not much out there.
But most shoes I don't think provide that much warmth. I can (just) understand people not wanting to have a shoes off rule in their house, I can't really understand them getting all righteous and offended about someone else having that rule. Surely, barring foot related phobias, it's not a massive deal to take your shoes off is it?

Knew a family once who had thick plastic walkways all,over the house that you had to stay on. They went up to the furniture in the rooms so that you could get to the chairs or whatever without having to walk on the carpet. That's unreasonable!

I don't wear shoes in my own home but wouldn't dream of expecting anyone to remove theirs, though they're welcome to do so if they wish.

I visted SIL in her new home last year, she was obsessive about the cream carpet in the upstairs drawing room. I'm in no rush to go back.

Foxglove, that's hilarious. I wonder where she got them?!