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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lack of card or present from husband and kids

99 replies

Fedupmuch · 16/11/2014 23:22

Today was my 40th birthday. Husband failed to buy me a present or get me a card and also failed to organise getting the kids anything for me. His lack of effort on occasions has been a bug bare previously and he knows it bugs me. I appreciate he might not want to spend loads of money on something I might not like but am I unreasonable to think he could have organised cards, shoved a terry chocolate orange in the trolley when in the supermarket yesterday?. Ps I organised my own birthday party as I knew he wouldn't.

OP posts:
IAmAShitHotLawyer · 16/11/2014 23:23

how old are your children

justabigdisco · 16/11/2014 23:24

You will get people coming on and saying 'I can't believe an adult would get so wound up about a birthday, birthdays are for kids'.

Not me though, I love birthdays, I would be seriously pissed off in your shoes. Happy birthday to you OP ThanksWine

madsadbad · 16/11/2014 23:24

Happy Birthday
Flowers
Wine
Your not being unreasonable, if its important to you, a bit of thought does not have to cost

Tobyjugg · 16/11/2014 23:26

If I did that to DW sleeping on the sofa be blowed, I'd be exiled to the shed. YANBU.

Fedupmuch · 16/11/2014 23:27

3 & 7

OP posts:
QTPie · 16/11/2014 23:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

SallyMcgally · 16/11/2014 23:30

YANBU
Thanks happy birthday Cake

Fedupmuch · 16/11/2014 23:31

Tomorrow I'm going to get loads of people asking what he got me. Feel embarrassed to say nothing but why should I lie!. Going to depress me even more!

OP posts:
Longdistance · 16/11/2014 23:32

Did he even wish you a Happy Birthday?

I'd be very Angry it's a milestone birthday too. Just don't bother with his birthday next time.

Wine Flowers

TravelinColour · 16/11/2014 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PacificDogwood · 16/11/2014 23:34

YANBU.

Happy birthday to you and many happy returns CakeBrewWineThanks

Having said that, I may have forgotten DH's birthday this year in its entirety until the next day….. Blush. NOT my proudest moment.

riverboat1 · 16/11/2014 23:37

If he made a fuss of you eg with special breakfast/organising singing of happy birthday/cake etc that would count for something in my book. Did he do anything like that?

But still a poor show since he KNOWS a card and present are important to you.

Margaritte · 16/11/2014 23:37

Happy Birthday OP. Cake Flowers Wine

Azquilith · 16/11/2014 23:38

What a twat.

Happy Birthday FlowersWine

JeanSeberg · 16/11/2014 23:40

Well he's really told you what he thinks of you hasn't he and taught the kids you're not worth making a fuss of once a year.

Fedupmuch · 16/11/2014 23:41

He did tell me before it to just go out and buy something: I had made it clear that I didn't want to just go out and buy something. Like I said I don't expect the Crown Jewels but a small thoughtful gesture would be nice.
He isn't bothered about celebrating his birthdays and when I tell him I'm not going to bother making effort for his he doesn't care.

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 16/11/2014 23:43

You may need to spell in out in words of one syllable in time for next year's birthday:
"I am expecting a cake and a card and a rendition of 'Happy Birthday".

Some people need that me.

TravelinColour · 16/11/2014 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BathshebaDarkstone · 16/11/2014 23:46

I'd expect a card and a bar of chocolate. Surely he can manage that? Shock

ChippingInAutumnLover · 16/11/2014 23:46

And yet others just need a hot poker ip their arse!

He's a git.

The very least he should do is help the children do something nice for you, make cards etc.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 16/11/2014 23:47

Apart from ignoring you and making you feel like crap, I just couldn't live with someone so joyless.

YouTheCat · 16/11/2014 23:50

Sod that he isn't bothered about his birthday! He knows you want to celebrate yours and he should respect that.

Don't buy this twat anything ever again.

Rioux · 16/11/2014 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

500Decibels · 16/11/2014 23:52

It's horrible of him and it's even worse that he doesn't feel bad about not getting you anything.

Next year, or for any other occasion that's important to you, insist that he does it from the dcs and himself.

I've posted this before but I've a friend who's dh was like this and she got angry but let it slide. Now she gets really hurt when her dh and adult dc don't even bother marking any occasion for her.

Ludways · 16/11/2014 23:53

Agree with WTPie, my kids love mine and dh's birthdays and get excited when we open Christmas gifts too. It's important for children to realise parents are people too and should've valued.