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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that it is hypocritical to be anti Private,Selective or Single Sex Schools when you have benefited from them.

185 replies

smokepole · 16/11/2014 20:24

Having read many threads on this site and having read a couple in particular today, it seems that "most" of the posters on here have benefited from these types of schools. However, time and time again you read these people slating Grammar , Private and single sex schools. This is so hypocritical that the posters who have had the benefit of the best of the education system, seem so anti any form of selection for today's children.

I had the misfortune of being educated in a Secondary Modern in Kent in the 1980s . There are not many Secondary Modern educated posters on this site, which goes to show how fortunate the majority of posters on here were with their educations. These people are like "Champagne Socialists" having benefited from superior educations, but seek to deny the opportunities for future generations. "DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO" springs to mind with these posters who espouse the merits of Comprehensive education, having not being educated through the Comprehensive system themselves.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 16/11/2014 20:29

MN is mahoosive an IME has a good proportion of representatives from a great many walks of life.

I didn't attend any of those 'beneficial' institutions and haven't found myself outnumbered by those that have had a more privelidged education. Nor do I consider myself as having suffered for not doing.

Vitalstatistix · 16/11/2014 20:29

Why is it hypocritical?

It would be hypocritical if they had chosen to go to those schools.

But how is it hypocritical to have a different opinion on schools than your parents did?

Vitalstatistix · 16/11/2014 20:30

oh, and I went to a comp

If I wanted to privately educate my children, (I haven't chosen that) would I be a hypocrite? No, because I didn't pick the school I went to, my parents made that choice for me.

skylark2 · 16/11/2014 20:32

I'm pretty anti the sort of school I went to (crappy comprehensive which had until recently been a secondary modern). It was awful.

Why shouldn't another poster feel that way about a different type of school which they have personal experience of?

Cantbelievethisishappening · 16/11/2014 20:33

Their parents sent them there so they perhaps didn't have much choice.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 16/11/2014 20:34

Yabu, and I say that as someone who went to a coeducational state comprehensive and is in favour of such schools.

You could do well out of any system and still see that it's crap!

Fayrazzled · 16/11/2014 20:34

Rubbish. It's perfectly possible to have reasoned, principled opinions either for or against different forms of education, even if one has experienced a particular type oneself, and even if one has arguably benefitted from it. I was privately educated to 16 (a choice made by my parents, not me), went to a state sixth form college and then to Cambridge. I am no doubt a product of my education but my preference would be for a fully comprehensive system of state education (no private schools or faith schools or grammar schools or free schools). This is not because I want to pull the ladder up behind me, but because I believe such a system would be the fairest way to offer education to all our children.

HedgehogsDontBite · 16/11/2014 20:34

I didn't choose my school.

StarlightMcKenzie · 16/11/2014 20:35

I went to a crap secondary comp. I have 3 kids. One attended a private school until I withdrew to Home Educate. No State school would have suited him. One goes to local state, and the youngest I have yet to make a decision about.

You can have morals and standards that are separate from the reality and kids are not political pawns.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 16/11/2014 20:37

I went to an all girls private convent school. I hated every moment of it and often used to cry and beg my mum to let me change schools. I don't see why my mother's choice for me should make me a hypocrite in my opinion.

We only have the option of state comps where we live as we can't afford private.

Timeforabiscuit · 16/11/2014 20:44

YAB completely U

  1. those who had a different educational experience had it chosen for them .

  2. the use of selective education raises inequality and as the UK is one of the most socially unequal places in the world, a long hard look at the fairness of our educational institutions is needed.

  3. who the fuck are you to say I can't have an opinion? I open my mouth and I'm a hypocrite because of something that happened for a relatively small part of my life? Presumably I can't talk about marriage or Catholicism as I'm already tainted by those institutions too?

whattheseithakasmean · 16/11/2014 20:45

I went to a state comprehensive, as the vast majority of children do in Scotland.

I have achieved academically, so I really fail to see the need/benefit of the private sector, apart from the desire to confer social advantage, which I am sure it does.

Maybe some people don't approve of that - they are entitles to their opinion, as it wasn't their choice to go to an exclusive school.

usualsuspect333 · 16/11/2014 20:48

I went to a secondary modern, it was crap.

Thats why I'm glad I live in a truly comprehensive area and my kids went to the local comp.

redskybynight · 16/11/2014 20:51

I went to a private school at the choice of my parents. I suppose you could say it benefited me - I have good qualifications and a good job, but I hated it and did not think it was a good school and realised as I got older it had taught some very arrogant attitudes.

Partly because of my experience, but also because I have enough nous to make an informed decision, I disagree with selective education (whatever the selection method). If I'd had to choose my own education as a child I would not have chosen the private school.

teawamutu · 16/11/2014 20:57

Jesus, are you STILL going on about schools?

Seriously, I really think you should talk to someone about this. You seem - honestly - to have a massive hang up about your education but I'm not sure that you're helping yourself by constant posting on mn.

ilovesooty · 16/11/2014 20:58

I havefriend who went to a sigle sex fee paying grammar. He hated it and chose to send his daughter to a comprehensive. Why shouldn't he? He didn't choose his school.

Incidentally his daughter was accepted by Oxford and chose to go elsewhere.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 16/11/2014 21:00

I think it's possible for someone to recognise they had an unfair advantage, and to see how this contributes to an unequal society, and for them to not like this inequality.

And, as has been said, most children don't get to choose what type of school they go to.

(I went to a state comprehensive.)

Hassled · 16/11/2014 21:00

Like others, I didn't choose my education. Nor did I have the mindset as a child/teenager to question or challenge it. That doesn't mean that now, as an adult, I can't challenge or question different types of education. There's no logic in your OP.

raltheraffe · 16/11/2014 21:03

I went to a faith school which is precisely why I do not like faith schools. I did not choose to go there, but I failed the exams for the local fee paying school by refusing to answer any questions on the paper.

ilovesooty · 16/11/2014 21:05

There are not many Secondary Modern educated posters on this site, which goes to show how fortunate the majority of posters on here were with their educations

I suspect most live in areas where the 11+was abolished yearsago and attended comprehensives.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 16/11/2014 21:05

Secondary moderns were pretty much designed to give kids a shitty education.

I don't think any kids should have a shitty education. So I am opposed to secondary modern schools.

Don't think my own educational history has a bearing on that.

Congrats on cutting down the amount of "" in your posts though, that was a v readable OP. Also what teawamutu said though.

raltheraffe · 16/11/2014 21:05

I did not get in Cambridge because of the school I went to, I did it despite the school I went to. I bunked off half the sixth form lessons to teach myself the subjects because the teachers were so crap.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 16/11/2014 21:05

I didn't choose my schooling. I can feel whatever I want about private schools and not be a hypocrite as I did not make the decision to go to a private school myself.

Muskey · 16/11/2014 21:10

I went to a bog standard catholic comprehensive in the early 80s. My dd started off in a catholic state primary school. However the school failed my dd both educationally and emotionally and I had to remove her and send her to an independent non faith school. My choice has been based on what is best for my dd. my parents were not in a position to do anything else for me.

smokepole · 16/11/2014 21:11

The logic is that you should not seek to deny other bright children the chances you had.
The other point is that many posters achieved more in life because of the selective nature of their educations than they would have done in a comprehensive education system.

Thanks TEA . Still Crazy....

OP posts: