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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to call in sick or to not call in sick

135 replies

Vintagecrap · 16/11/2014 07:54

Was unwell yesterday, sore throat, headache etc. Took paracetamol and worked for 10 hours.

I am due to work today but have woken up and can hardly talk. I've been awake a few hours and it hasn't got any better. If sound does come out I sound like Barry white crossed with a teenage boy.

Don't feel too bad apart from that. Bit tight chested. Problem is today I'm working on a shop floor, so full on engaging and chatting to people all day.

I also know my team are short staffed.

And I called in sick last Sunday and left early Thursday due to issues within my team and my manager was in support of that.

Otherwise it would be a no brainer and I would phone in but I'm not sure on this one..

OP posts:
drbonnieblossman · 16/11/2014 08:54

Go in. Show willing. You'll feel shit yes. But you won't get a rapidly earned reputation as unreliable and/or a lightweight. Think long term.

BathshebaDarkstone · 16/11/2014 08:56

I'd go in and let the manager send me home. Brew

Vivacia · 16/11/2014 08:57

I feel really sorry for you OP. It's horrible feeling poorly and having to go in to work, and you don't have the normal resilience for dealing with things like AIBU

Hope you can have an early night tonight and that there's somebody there to tuck you up in bed.

LoxleyBarrett · 16/11/2014 09:01

What a grumpy little thread. Why are so many people so cross with the OP wondering if she should stay off work when she is unwell?

Maybe because by her own admission there was very little wrong with her. Maybe those of us that work are sick and tired of people taking a day off (especially when it is all hands on deck) to cover the arses of those members of staff who take time off every time they sneeze.

This will be the 3rd time this week that the OP has called in sick / gone home early.

The story has now changed considerably and putting my job hat on if she is unable to breathe then she needs to see a doctor.

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 16/11/2014 09:03

I dragged myself in and worked 10 hours yesterday on what should have been my day off.

Cane home, ate a microwave bit of crap and fell into bed at 830.

On my own, no one to help. Plate and packet from last night all left out. Clothes in a pile on the floor.

If they weren't short staffed there is no way I would consider going in.

Or that I have been off this week already. But that's due to a work situation. Bullying which there is an hr meeting tomorrow where it should all be dealt with.

Shower helped while in the shower and I caught my breath. Yes I probably need to see a doctor as I expect it's a chest infection.

OP posts:
RedButtonhole · 16/11/2014 09:03

FFS some people on this thread have no heart or any common sense Hmm

OP it doesn't sound like this is just the sniffles. If you're in a customer facing role and can't even speak to them you wont be much use to anyone, plus, I don't mean to sound mean but I wouldn't particularly welcome a phlegmmy shop assistant coughing and spluttering whilst trying to speak to me. Stay off till you feel well enough to go in, it's not your fault they are short staffed and they wont thank you for passing whatever you have onto them and possibly wiping out more staff.

Hope you feel better soon OP Thanks

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 16/11/2014 09:08

Lox. Did say I was tight chested in my op.

Manager sent me home on one if the two occasions this week admist total bullying.

Last week I called in as I couldn't face it.

Until this point I had had minimal sick days, only time off this year was when I ended up in hospital overnight Went back to work the next day as they were short staffed and i dudnt want to let people down and ended up back there the next day with two weeks off.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 16/11/2014 09:12

I don't think this thread is grumpy - more frustrated...

Look op, only you know the ins and outs of your work and the culture/politics surrounding it.

Personally if I'd already been off sick once this week and gone home early unrelated on a separate day I would have to be really unwell to call in again. I know that kind of a pattern makes you a prime target for being seen as a shirker or labelled as a sick note. But if you're ill your ill and have to suck it up and prepare yourself to be able to justify it in the face of that kind of atmosphere on your return.

Based on your first post alone I would advise the atmosphere isn't worth it tbh and to go in and manage what you can. That's based on the presumption that you actually feel ok apart from your throat/cough.

But the call is yours alone. No one typing words on a screen should influence your final decision to the point that you over ride your own gut feelings on your own health.

Betsy003 · 16/11/2014 09:13

Do you feel you are struggling to breathe? You struggled in the shower? With phloem. Do you feel weak? I know earlier you said you felt fine but if you we're able to move, that would be different for me.

Phone your GP and ask to see someone first thing to check it's not a chest infection if worried.

I had a chest infection and struggled to breath, couldn't move off the sofa and coughed up lots of crap. My voice was fine but weak though. I could still talk on the phone

LoxleyBarrett · 16/11/2014 09:14

Vintage - your op stated "a bit tight chested" (perfectly normal with a cough and cold, but needs to be monitored) and that you didn't feel too bad - it came across as excuse making.

This has now changed to "I'm wheezing all over the place as it's very difficult to get a breath in" (this needs medical attention).

Surely you can see that you have changed your story from there OP?

Betsy003 · 16/11/2014 09:15

Simple way to decide. If GP says its a chest infection then rest and take antibiotics, if GP says it's not a chest infection go yo work

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/11/2014 09:15

Is she on trial.Loxley? You would think so here.

Greengrow · 16/11/2014 09:23

I would keep going in even if there is bullying and a bit of sickness. The world divides into those tho take time off and those who soldier on. Ultimately it is those who soldier on who do better and keep their jobs. Be the stoic.

LoxleyBarrett · 16/11/2014 09:25

No not on trial - It doesn't effect me in the slightest if she goes to work or not.

But I will not say "go on, phone in sick, put your feet up" to someone who has a bit of a cough and cold as outlined in her op. She is letting her team down and if it is "all hands on deck (even at Director level)" it will be noted and not in a favourable way - I suppose it depends how much she values her team and her job.

I have said that the significant change in symptoms since the OP requires a visit to the Doctor.

tobysmum77 · 16/11/2014 09:26

for God sake phone in sick if you aren't well.

The world is split into reasonable people and ridiculous people. This thread is clearly populated in the main by the latter.

AndThisIsTrue · 16/11/2014 09:27

It sounds more like you want to avoid the bullies. I've been there and it was shit but staying off won't help in the long run and will make you look flakey and u nreliable. (Have also been there and ended up with a bad sick record and never offered promotions etc because I looked like I couldn't cope even though it was all down to the bullying.)
Front it out, you are better than them. I hope the HR meeting sorts things.

On a separate note I work in customer facing retail and would be allowed to go get a drink of water/throat sweet if ill, or depending on the set up be able to stash a bottle of water behind a counter or something if you cant get to the staffroom, ask your boss I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 16/11/2014 09:27

What tobysmum said

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 16/11/2014 09:32

I think it started either thur night or friday morning. You know when you go swimming and your ears fill with water and you can feel it sloshing about, well, my ears felt like that though i hadnt been swimming. also went abit pulsating and i felt a bit swimmy if i moved too quickly.

but, you carry on.

yesterday i felt rough as hell, dosed up and worked 10 hours. ear vanished and it was all in my throat.

today its moved down to my chest, and the lack of voice is from that, rather than a sore throat, my throat feels fine. I can breath so long as i take little shallow breaths, anything deeper and i go all wheezy and my chest tightens and it hurts and isnt successful in getting adeep breath anyway.

but, im going in. ill collect my martyr award at the end of my shift :)

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 16/11/2014 09:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cornettoninja · 16/11/2014 09:33

Tbf fanjo, there's a fair bit of drip feeding going on which makes earlier advice look unsympathetic.

vintage on the basis of your having problems at work I would still advise showing your face tbh. I know it's horrible to have to deal with workplace bullying and even illness can feel like a welcome reprieve from it, but in truth it provides people with ammunition and makes things worse. You're unlikely to gain anything from attending work but it will keep things on a level iyswim.

If work is causing you angst then you need to be realistic about whether or not it's an issue that can actually be resolved properly. I think most workplace bullying can't, in truth, have anything more than an uneasy truce till one or more parties move on. It's a horrible, unhealthy environment and one that you should probably be looking to remove yourself from sooner rather than later.

Betsy003 · 16/11/2014 09:35

You can always see the GP after work today if you need antibiotics

tobysmum77 · 16/11/2014 09:37

when someone says 'I'm never off' I think lucky you. I haven't been off sick for 2 years, just haven't been ill. feel like death today though so tomorrow may change that!

mn is truly ridiculous because on another thread someone would be going on about the risks of someone immuno-compromised catching this lurgy.

But hey ho. All makes perfect sense Grin

Bakeoffcakes · 16/11/2014 09:38

Look, if you can only take shallow breathes without being in pain, you really need to rest.

Look after yourself for goodness sake.

tobysmum77 · 16/11/2014 09:38

cornet she is having problems breathing she needs to see a doctor Hmm

Original poster
Vintagecrap · 16/11/2014 09:39

I have support today anyway, so im not trying to avoid people. The meeting is tomorrow so, if i get an appt to see a doctor, it will have to be around the meeting anyway.

It is very badly timed that i am ill now. Right in the midst of all this. So, i am going to go in because i know it looks bad if i dont. I also no that noone will send me home as they are so short staffed and, they will say its up to me to decide.

OP posts: