10 yr old on a bus

[moomooland01]

AIBU to think that a 10 yr old is to young to travel 6 miles in a bus to McDonald's with his 12 yr old brother is to young?
They've been at dads this weekend and I've just found out.
I can see it now "here's 20 quid get out of my sight"

Oh I missed that it was after dark.

Tara do you really, honestly need it explaining? About why after dark is worse?

What happens in a busy town centre after 4.30pm (when it gets dark) that doesn't happen beforehand when it's light?

Also OP, you say in one breath that your 12yr old hates the bus and then in another, you say you're going to get the whole 'Dad lets me' thing?

I don't understand?

I don't understand why after dark is worse either? Do you mean because it's late? It gets dark at about 4 here.

THere are more risks after dark. It's easier to fall into or off things...it's easier to be robbed...it's easier to be pulled down a dark alley...more crimes occur after dark for a reason.

Oh goodness me Claw, they just popped out for McDonalds in a busy town centre.

Every single town centre I've come across has been extremely well lit.

Are your kids not allowed to do after school activities in the Winter because the dreaded dark descends at 4.30pm?

Or do you drive them absolutely everywhere?

Worra I know but ten is small and vulnerable still. In my opinion it is anyway. It doesn't matter WHY they've popped out...they're in a city, after dark and one of them is rather too young...I don't drive actually and my DC aren;t allowed out after dark. They're ten and six. They do things after school and are collected by me...and brought home on a bus.

I think it's fine. If they were 8 and 10 or it was late then no but unless your 10yo is very immature I don't see why this would be an issue. It's a bus journey not a trip across the channel.

Would you REALLY let a ten year old out in the city after dark? I mean honestly?

I wasn't mollycoddled but I certainly was not allowed out after dark until I was about 15...that's an age when someone can look after themselves more imo.

I was allowed to go alone on buses from twelve but only in daylight.

Certainly don't think this would help you in court, apart from making you seem over protective it would come across quite a petty thing to mention.

I don't think it's petty at all. Far from it. It's a clash of parenting styles maybe...but if this were only about the twelve year old I would say leave it...but ten is small! A twelve year old isn't really old enough to be responsible for another either.

Worra I know but ten is small and vulnerable still

Again, that totally depends on the child - please stop tarring them all with the same brush because they are as individual as you and I.

Would you REALLY let a ten year old out in the city after dark? I mean honestly?

If he was sensible and with his sensible 12yr old brother, and it's only 4.30pm then yes, why wouldn't I?

I wasn't mollycoddled but I certainly was not allowed out after dark until I was about 15...that's an age when someone can look after themselves more imo.

Sorry but PSML @ 'not being mollycoddled'

Your parents picked you up from all after school activities because the street lights were on, even when you were FOURTEEN years old??

claw at 10 me and my friend would travel into london to see the Xmas lights or go the cinema/ skating. That involved buses and tubes and darkness. It's one bus. They invented street lights. It was 7pm not 11.

Claw could you explain what you mean by this please? I mean given that there are street lights and the kids are presumably sober....

THere are more risks after dark. It's easier to fall into or off things

Worra Please stop being bossy! I am not tarring anyone. I see a multitude of ten year olds on a daily basis...all of them small and vulnerable.

I wasn't mollycoddled. Not at all. I had my own key at 15 and was allowed complete freedom. But not before. AS a younger child I was allowed lots of DAYTIME freedom. But not wandering all over the city in the dark ffs!

My parents didn't pick me up from any activities....they worked! It was the 80s and there were no activities in our extremely poor community.

Worra do you honestly imagine kids of ten and twelve would stay ENTIRELY in the well lit areas? Do you also imagine that the ENTIRE city is bright with light?? It's not! There are dark spots and spots which look interesting to explore...not all kids are unadventurous...plenty might take a little detour...down a side street etc.

Totally depends on the child and the background. I live in SE London and whilst obviously it wouldn't happen at the moment, my 5 year old ds would definitely be competent enough to flag down the right number bus, touch his oystercard in, get off at the right stop and walk himself to school. In fact given dh normally does cm pick up, on the odd occasion I collect, I rely on him to tell me the right number bus to get home and where to get off if we don't get the one that goes to our door. By the age of 10, I wouldnt be that surprised if he wasn't doing it by himself. By 12, he may be supervising his sister.

Listen, I can only assume that you think the way you do because bizarrely, all the ten year olds you see on a daily basis are small and vulnerable...although how you know enough about them to decide they're vulnerable, I don't know.

But I doubt we're going to agree as we seem to live in different worlds. In my world, kids don't automatically fall into or off of things just because it's 4.30pm and the street lights are on.

WOrra they are vulnerable because they're small. And I don't know one 10 year old who isn't smaller than an adult.

Errm ok but what does size have to do with vulnerability?

I'm a 5ft 3" adult.

Does that mean I'm more vulnerable than a 5ft 7" adult?

No, of course it doesn't. It's all about maturity.

If the OP's 12yr old is mature enough to take his mature 10yr old brother on a bus to get something to eat, on an early Autumn evening that is what matters.

Not size, not 'falling into or off of things' because the street lights are on etc.

But then again, when I was aged 14 I was allowed out when the street lights came on, unlike yourself so as I said earlier, I think we live in different worlds.

Anyway OP, only you know your kids and how mature they are.

But I would think about this carefully and how you're going to word it if you mention it in court.

If you have solid, legitimate reasons why you're unhappy with this then you need to word it in a way, that you won't come across as petty, especially as CAFCASS might speak to the kids and ask them if they were happy to go and get a burger on their own.

Good luck and I hope it all works out

At 10 I went to an evening ballet class, then walked home alone through the town centre and then through residential streets.
We didn't have a car so in order to meet me my mother would have had to abandon the evening meal and bring along two toddlers.

But anyway. Your 12 year old hates the bus? But now he will be complaining 'Dad lets me'?
So has this cured the bus-hating? I'm a bit confused.

In our town, by far the grottiest part, however, is the bus station, which is a pity.

I think the chances of the children being abducted (as a sensible pair) are frankly far slimmer than the children not recognising the right stop to get off at, or indeed getting on the bus in the wrong direction on the way home. Do they have mobiles they know how to use if there was a problem OP?

Sorry Claw but I'm with Worra on this - your view of the world seems massively skewed??

Agree wholeheartedly with Worra.

10 is fine with older brother there too. My 9 & 12 yr old walked down the road to Morrison's at around half 7 tonight because they needed batteries for the xbox controller. They took their phones and walked straight there and back. Nae worries.

Ok I accept that given the amount of posters saying I'm over-worried, I must be! But I can't even imagine sending my ten year old out after dark. Maybe it's her? Maybe it's me but as we have no need to do that, it's not an issue for us.