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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to contribute to class Christmas present for nasty teacher

75 replies

kalebunch · 15/11/2014 13:08

DD has a nasty and very unprofessional Year 2 teacher at her expensive prep school. The teacher's behaviour has been the cause of numerous complaints to the headmaster. The teacher has never apologised or shown remorse for her actions but she is leaving the school at the end of term. Despite the teacher being disliked by the children, the Class Rep still wants the parents to each donate £20 to a joint class present. AIBU to refuse to donate to this "voluntary" present given the amount of grief this teacher has wreaked on our children?

OP posts:

NickiFury · 15/11/2014 13:08

I wouldn't.

Wishtoremainunknown · 15/11/2014 13:10

Twenty quid each ?!?

Aeroflotgirl · 15/11/2014 13:10

Just say no you will not. You gave every right not too. Her leaving present will reflect what she was like as a teacher.

Aeroflotgirl · 15/11/2014 13:11

Yes it says each

whatsthatcomingoverthehill · 15/11/2014 13:11

I don't spend that much on my nieces and nephews.

TheBatteriesHaveRunOut · 15/11/2014 13:14

YANBU

Did the class rep's dc get along fine with the teacher? What do other class parents think?

HelloItsMeFell · 15/11/2014 13:15

Not at all. A gift is to show your appreciation of a job well done, and your disappointment that she is leaving. She hasn't done her job especially well (in your opinion, and you are entitled to it) and you don't like her so you won't miss her.

Just tell the class rep that.

bloodyteenagers · 15/11/2014 13:15

Of course not.
Is it normal to get something for someone you don't like? Not in my world it isn't.

Asleeponasunbeam · 15/11/2014 13:16

Obviously you don't need to contribute.

But not do you need to tell us that the prep school is 'very expensive'. You wouldn't need to contribute for a teacher at a cheap school either, or even a free one, if you didn't want to.

HelloItsMeFell · 15/11/2014 13:16

I am wondering if the class rep already knows that she is disliked and has hoiked to contribution up to a whopping £20 to make allowances for those who refuse to contribute. Otherwise she'd only be able to get a rubbish gift.

TheGonnagle · 15/11/2014 13:16

£20.00??? Bloody hell.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/11/2014 13:17

No way! And tell the class rep why too.

FreakinScaryCaaw · 15/11/2014 13:18

Have you namechanged for this?

clam · 15/11/2014 13:19

"A rubbish gift?"

soverylucky · 15/11/2014 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AliceLidl · 15/11/2014 13:21

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

However, is it possible the class rep is worried that a precedent has been set with regards to Christmas/leaving presents, and that in not attempting to do the same for this teacher as others have received in the past, the teacher may have some grounds to complain about unfair treatment?

I'm not sticking up for her, or saying she has a case, but it's possible that if this is the 'norm' at your school but doesn't happen for her, she might try to stir up trouble and the rep is trying to avoid that happening.

This way the rep can say she tried, but parents were not all able to contribute financially at this particular time.

cardamomginger · 15/11/2014 13:21

£20?!?!? Fuck off!

LightastheBreeze · 15/11/2014 13:23

Is 20 quid the going rate at an expensive prep school.

KatieKaye · 15/11/2014 13:24

You'd be mad to contribute 20p.
I'd tell the Class Rep why I wasn't giving even a token amount, but without giving details - just "unprofessional behaviour" as you said in the OP.
You may also wish to add how glad you are that this teacher is leaving!

GreenPetal94 · 15/11/2014 13:24

Aside from this teacher, why on earth would it be £20 each? Is that normal at private schools? What do they buy the teacher, a diamond necklace?

Rosa · 15/11/2014 13:25

Prep school or not £20 is a piss take. and No YANBU at all . If you don't want to contribute then I would say why .

FestiveFox · 15/11/2014 13:25

I wouldn't give that much to a great teacher, as I wouldn't want to
them
its theor good to doa good job

so I certainly would not give 20quid to a shit teacher

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 15/11/2014 13:25

What are they planning to get that requires 20 from each child, how many are in the class?

MrsHathaway · 15/11/2014 13:28

Ywnbu to decline to put into the collection even if (a) she were nice (b) she were not leaving (c) the class rep only asked for £1.

Collections completely miss the point of Christmas giving.

Now, as a leaving present it matters that she's leaving under a cloud, and that your child directly suffered.

KatieKaye · 15/11/2014 13:30

Precedents cannot be set for voluntary contributions to a leaving present - not legal precedents at any rate.

the teacher would have no grounds for legal complaint even if people were offered the opportunity to contribute but a refused to do so. There is no law that says teachers are entitled to a leaving present paid for by the parents/guardians of their pupils.

There is no case, as you said, and only a total idiot would try to stir up trouble because people did not want to contribute to a present for them.

Exactly what sort of trouble could be stirred up over a refusal to make a voluntary contribution to a present anyway?

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