To want to punch myself in the face after letting mil get away with another 'MILism' AGAIN!!

[Stalequavers]

Lay in bed stewing over it.

Looooooong history with mil regarding her shockingly bad rudeness. It isn't just saved for me - everyone experiences it although the SIL and myself get extra helpings for good measure especially when I was pregnant.

I know she is a narc.

I've done amazing at keeping her at arms length. Always had my guard up, expected shitty behaviour so wasn't surprised at her little nuggets of goldeness anymore.

I think she could feel the coolness from me and gave dp a 'treat' of a small amount of money. 50/50 split between me and him. Had to buy myself something naice. I havnt yet.

Tonight she came around and we were discussing Xmas dinner. Last Boxing Day she came here. We didn't have a table (still don't)

I said why don't you come with us (were eating out)or bils...

I got in return " no disrespect stale. BUT I'm not sitting having my Xmas dinner on my knee like I had Boxing Day dinner here (pointed to where she was sat) I'd rather cook it myself"... And got quiet offended/annoyed by it

1. I didn't fucking invite you to dinner here!
2. it was better than nothing you ungreatful bitch!

So I laughed at her. And said no.2 and left out the sweary bit.

She is a massive bell end. Dp knows exactly what she is like and does tell her off somtimes. But what's the fucking point - nothing changes .....

Rant over

Last time we went to Histronic MiL's for Christmas dinner she got stoned, went to bed and called down for a ham sandwich as we were dishing up.

Then wonders why we very rarely visit.

Btw, Christmas dinner on my knees sounds awesome!!

If you laughed at her, I reckon that was the best response possible.

But you didn't let her get away with it. You put her in her place firmly but not rudely. Some people including my MIL are just tactless and rude, I think you dealt with it well.

I've just been down to dp. He is going to have a word about being unpleasant in general.

She really doesn't have anyone else but us lot as she is a nasty cow. She does the sandwich attack..... Nice -nasty- nice .

It kind of leaves you thinking " did she just shit all over me?..."

king a fucking ham sandwich ... I would have made her a sprout one.

We could write a book on here about nasty folk!

Wow, she is lucky to have got her dinner on her knee instead of over her obnoxious head.

mother I know. She will not eat another fecking scrap here again. One of her habits it turning up at xfactor time on a sat when she knows we have a take away. It's alright then to eat of her fucking knees.

You held your tongue loads better than I would have.

"Well, you have dinner for one at your lovely big dining table then. Remember to put all the trimmings in arm's reach as there'll be no mug to pass them to you."

But I frequently get in trouble for not curbing what comes out of my mouth

joll she hadn't got a dining table. She has been living with her 'friend' since last year after selling her house. She literately had no where to go other than here last year.

BIL has a dining table. SIL has moved out. Mil +BIL + dining table = happy ungreatful bitch mil.

Oooo, my SiL (also a narc) does the sandwich attack.

She also bullies people but makes oylut she's acting in their best interests.

Don't see her now.

Even when I know exactly what she's playing she still fucks up my mind.

Im glad Im not alone, but its my mother that spouts out stuff like that. Im in the states and have been very sick since May. Finally on the mend and planned Inlaws and my family at my house for Thanksgiving. My DM said no her house or she's not participating. So Im cooking for my In-Laws and going to DMs for a second dinner.

My DH said we would do it to keep the peace. I dont know who Im more pissed at her or DH!

And at my house we will be eating off paper plates and on our knees as my table only sits 6 and there will be about 18 here.

So tell your Mother In-law I have a spot for her on the sofa.

I love how people start an insult with "No disrespect, I'm not being ungrateful, I'm not being cheeky, no offence, but..."and then spout complaints or insults. Don't be in a rush to buy a table, Op, she has well and truly burnt her Christmas bridges there!

So she expects you to have better eating facilities than she has at her own home? I dread to think what I'd come out with then!

And if you ever do buy a table hide it when she comes round...

I propose a mumsnet drinking game- every time somebody's MIL does/says something bitchy, we have a shot. A merry Christmas will be had by all!

I want to play disocpanda's game! Count me in!

Notmeagain Nice to know its not just us that do this. BTW no paper plates here - the invites say bring yr own cutlery and china (but we will wash up tho').

no disrespect toby but can't we just smash the china?

nah, disco, we would probably all be in a and e by 11 getting stomachs pumped...

anyuway, op. sounds like you did not lety her get away with it.

Why feel bad Stalequavers? You've got a great result there, she's not coming hurrah! For what it's worth I think you handled it well, it might have felt briefly satisfying to tell her to fuck off but you'd have lost any moral high ground and you'd have given her plenty of ammunition to paint you as a DIL from hell to anyone who'd listen and herself as the victim. The best way to handle these kind of insults is to laugh or act as though you're not bothered. How does DH feel about having a word with her and do either of you feel it will change her behaviour? I'm not sure as if she's doing it to hurt or belittle you then she'll know she's achieved that.

Apologies for minor thread derailment, but what's a narc? I assumed you meant addicted to narcotics, but according to urban dictionary it means a narcotics agent or informer (am assuming MIL is neither!). Please enlighten me! Your MIL sounds like a piece of work, btw.

Narc = narcissist. noun
1.
a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.

Are you new on here welshrabbit?

A Narc is short for Narcissist, basically someone is out for themselves and has no empathy for anyone.

No, have been here a while but never seen the shortened version of narcissist (seen the long version quite a lot!). Thanks - you live and learn.

When you learn something new everyday I thought narc meant grumpy, maybe that's nark not narc.