to think planning a wedding is doable in 18 months from scratch?

[kiwicatastrophe]

Please don't flame. We haven't planned or decided or thought of a single thing and it's feeling a bit overwhelming. We have Dc2 due in may and I don't want that to be anymore stressful than it will be (lots of other things going on). Anyone that's congratulated us on our engagement has made a huge point of how if we don't book soon they will all be booked up and they all when we say we don't know where we are having it. The thought of thinking of any of it after what people have been saying is making me feel like I've got no idea what I'm doing. It's like our whole families have gone bridezilla asking constantly if so and so can be bridesmaid ect and I just want to scream leave me alone we don't know what we're doing. I know they are all just excited and not trying to be rude at all but am I right in thinking it's just not doable. should we postpone another year or two?

God yes, we (read I) did it in less than a month and moved house and changed jobs at the same time.

If you want a big fancy wedding then fine, do it, if like me you don't want a big ceremony then you only need a ring and the licence. The thought of a big wedding made me wince.

I took an afternoon off work to get married, two friends came as witnesses, walked home, had some champagne, then took a taxi into town to have a meal. My outfit cost £30.
Back to work next day. Easy peasy, very low cost, no fuss.

I don't see the issue here?

We planned ours in 15 months from engagement to wedding day

Church was available on our chosen date, as were the venues we wanted. And yes it was a summer saturday and a full scale trad wedding.

18 months should be absolutely plenty.

IME there is a bit of a rush at the beginning of the planning - when you work out number of guests and your preferred date, book the venue(s), caterer, and maybe the photographer or a band if it's really important to you. Then everything else can wait a while. Then there's another busy period about 6-8 months before the event which is when you need to sort save the dates, dress, bridesmaids, invitations, florist, hair etc. Then another quiet bit. Then another busy bit in the run up to the wedding when you send invites, sort table plan, choose menu, and confirm and pay everybody...

Of course many of these things can be ditched to simplify life! But what I'm saying is 18 months is plenty even if you want "all the trimmings".

I think that when people take longer than 18 months it's usually for financial reasons or weight reasons ie they need longer to save up or lose weight? (not that anyone needs to lose weight to get married but some want to).

I can't believe people are asking "whether so&so can be a bridesmaid" - how rude !!

You need to break it down into the things that are important to you.

Fundamentally, just like Christmas dinner is basically Sunday Lunch, a wedding is just a bit of legal stuff followed by a party. You could do registry office followed by village hall or even pub lunch.

How much time and money will be involved will depend on what you want and how much you are prepared to pay to other people.

Bridesmaids, cake, posh dress, amazing venue, expensive invitations, party favours, band, wedding cars, honeymoon, flowers etc. etc. etc. are all optional. Include them because they are important to you and they make you happy, not because you feel pressure.

As soon as we announced our engagement both my BiL and SisIl made comments (put their kids forward forcefully) about bridesmaids.
Ppl get in a tizz. But that will happen more so if you have longer to plan.

I said any child who wanted to be an attendant, could I ended up with six children & two adults. No training, planning, co-ordination or other hassle needed. I just lined 'em up at the church door! They were all lovely.

Agree with Garlic - All a bridesmaid really has to do is follow you around, dress up a bit, hold some flowers and maybe hang around a bit more than the other guests during the photos. Nothing wrong with having 20 enthusiastic bridesmaids following you up the aisle. They can even choose their own dresses.

I think arranging a wedding can be more hassle if you have children already as you probably have more time and money constraints, but on the other hand that is the perfect excuse to pick and choose the bits you want to include in whatever way you choose.