to think planning a wedding is doable in 18 months from scratch?

[kiwicatastrophe]

Please don't flame. We haven't planned or decided or thought of a single thing and it's feeling a bit overwhelming. We have Dc2 due in may and I don't want that to be anymore stressful than it will be (lots of other things going on). Anyone that's congratulated us on our engagement has made a huge point of how if we don't book soon they will all be booked up and they all when we say we don't know where we are having it. The thought of thinking of any of it after what people have been saying is making me feel like I've got no idea what I'm doing. It's like our whole families have gone bridezilla asking constantly if so and so can be bridesmaid ect and I just want to scream leave me alone we don't know what we're doing. I know they are all just excited and not trying to be rude at all but am I right in thinking it's just not doable. should we postpone another year or two?

Yep. White church wedding in 5 months. Got dress as soon as decided. Had Monday wedding as could get venue much easier and cheaper. Unless u need to book certain venue most people I know do it in a year

Of course it is. Mine is in 6 months and I haven't planned anything yet

Sorry, I guess I meant YANBU because it's easily doable.

We got engaged in November and married in July as soon as I'd graduated. We got married on a Sunday though as most places were already booked for Saturdays (this may be harder to organise if it isn't in a church).

Ps we also had an amazing group of friends who helped out. One of my best friends made a paper bouquet out of my favourite book and DH's favourite music, and another took pictures. We used eBay for the order of service. Table runner from etsy. Vases from Ikea. Traditional jam sponge (although we were really cheeky and didn't tell baker it was for wedding so paid less than £50 and it was amazing topped with rose petals). Flowers were from Tesco the night before the wedding. The Dutch women did an amazing job with the flower arrangements after the hen tea the day before. All lots of fun!!! Next day we all walked to registry office as a group and we got hitched. Wouldn't change it for the world. There's lots of really cool pubs out there with amazing dining rooms and menus. We paid £35pp for a three course meal and the standard was excellent. Have fun being really creative (although you don't have to be crafty - I'm certainly not!!!) and you'll create lots of happy memories of the day you started your marriage, not your wedding.

I honestly don't understand what you're even supposed to be doing for those 18 months. It's just a big party, not Olympic Games we're talking about.

Unless you want to spend hours agonising over the colours of the ribbons that are tied around the candles, and if they actually match the monogrammed seat covers etc, but that's honestly not necessary.

It is completely doable but I would try to get the big things organised before the baby is born just so you don't have to bother with it afterwards.

I planned a wedding for 100 with a baby and a toddler in tow. If your families are big and interfering all the better because you can give them jobs and make them do the bulk of the work (as long as you are not too fussy about the details).

All the industry stuff about how much in advance you have to do it and all the things you need to WORRY about and get PERFECT is just an attempt to get you to spend more money in panic! Even the dress is just a dress... don't worry, just enjoy.

And if you're not going to enjoy, don't bother and do it later!

It will fill as long as you let it. We did it all in less than 3 months. Married in a lovely hotel late Saturday afternoon followed by sit down dinner for 80 then dancing with live band. There was less choice of venue but there was choice - you can go round fussing interminably or you can decide it's the people who make the day.

If we had spent 18 months planning the attention to detail would have been huge, the bride, groom, MIL ,FIL, Bridesmaid ,Best man, Page, Usher etc. zilla would have come out in full force and we may not have got married. We got engaged December, started looing March, booked venue April, booked everything else June and then spent three months making stationary and table decorations for our September wedding. It was way more than enough time. Chose September not because we needed the time but because prices had started going down by then. Could have had a mid-summer Saturday if we had wanted.

All the vendors at the one wedding fair we went to lied. You don't need 18 months to plan a wedding.

Perfectly doable, we did a church wedding in less than 4 months
First thing: decide on your venues and book ASAP. Summer weddings get booked up quickly, consider your entertainment too. DH used to DJ and would be booked for weddings a year in advance.
Organise your guest list and stick to it, don't be swayed by distant relatives from the back of beyond wanting to butt in if you've never met them bitter experience.
Simple dresses off the peg can be really cheap and lovely but make sure you leave enough time for any alterations. Ditto rings.
Everything else can be done much closer to the time and aren't as important.

Easy peasy!
The money side of it on the other hand...
Its going to take us time to save up rather than the actual planning.
Also I toddled into a wedding shop to ask how long a dress takes to arrive. They reckon you need a year!!!!!!

We met in April, got engaged in August and were married in October. That was 18 years ago. I didn't ask anyone's opinion or advice and just got on with it.

You could get married in a few days if you wanted and could get a slot in a registry office. If you want hoo-haa and hoopla then it will take longer. A friend organised hers (from America, wedding in Ireland) in about five months.

Friend of mine discovered she was pregnant, had the wedding a month later. Simply went to a venue which organises the whole lot, so she just booked the church, bought the dress, job done.

Mine took a week. Booked a flight to vegas, organised time off work, easy :)

Its as simple or as complicated as you want. If you have specific ideas of venues or plans it may take a little longer, If you're happy to take the first free date at anywhere nearby it can be as soon as you like.

From proposal to marriage was 8 weeks for me and DH.

No big deal at all.

Stately home venue, fab handmade dress, the works as it were. The only compromise was getting married on a Friday rather than a Saturday, but with your timeline that shouldn't be an issue.

18 months is plenty of time.

My DSis had her dress in her hands 10 days after first trying it on. It will need altering, but only takes a week and seamstress is booked for the right time (roughly 6-8 weeks before the day).

DSIL had her dress roughly 6 weeks after starting to look - in her hands also.

If you have any idea of what you want, have a look now and maybe try on before the bump gets too big. But organise a seamstress for the right time (even if ordering bespoke, it's still a good idea as most people change a little).

Book the church, and a venue for afterwards. Then enjoy the pregnancy and just do a few bits as you think of it. (I remembered afterwards that DH and I did ours in 21 months, from engagement to wedding, including a house purchase, me having my first job from college 2 days after getting engaged and doing the massive process for my permenant job, which I had my 1 year anniversary of starting the week after the wedding, and arranging most of it remotely as we were living and working 3 hours on a good Friday night drive from "home" (and 4 hours most weeks!), and learning it all as 1st wedding on both sides of the family!).

I got engaged at Easter - so did my brother! He got married in May, we got married in August.
My brother did have to get married on a Friday due to short time scale.

For ours, we went round at Easter, and chose church, venue, florist, band, food etc, and told them we would be back 1st week in August to do details.
Mum and I found a dress maker, and did the same.
It was slightly easier, in that my parents had a huge barn where we held the reception, food was a hog roast.

Then we went away and did NOTHING at all. Then 1st week in August did dress fitting, details on food, flowers etc, and spent time with vicar over service details. Married 28th August.

The only thing we had to do in the gap between was the paper work as we needed a special licence.

Of course it's do-able - it's perfectly possible to arrange a wedding in a couple of months if you are determined. What is less do-able is sorting it out in 18 months if you are going to set your heart on specific must-haves and insist that everything must be perfect. A bridezilla-production wedding can easily take 2 years or more to arrange but if you don't want one of those you'll be fine.

We did ours in four months. The biggest issue was dress. I did buy a proper dress in the end and just hit the 20 week wait time. They did say they could probably have rushed it otherwise though. I would have bought an off the peg one otherwise but it depends what you want.

I imagine if you want a summer Saturday wedding there is some pressure on venue availability. For example, the first Saturday of the school summer hols always seems to be a wedding weekend for us, as does the late May bank holiday. Friends got married on August bank hol this year though and had no problems getting a venue with 5 months notice.

Very doable. Engaged in Jan married with 120 guests in a lovely venue in June. I won't pretend it wasnt stressful at times but why spread thestress over 18 months when you can do it in 4? Good luck and enjoy

Hope you feel reassured OP. Relations can get a bit hysterical about it all but remember it's your day, you and DP get to decide what you both want. Are you one for making lists, decide your budget and keep tabs on what you allocate. Extras and trimmings all add up.

We planned ours in under 3 weeks. Wasn't a church wedding though.

Went to meet DH one Monday lunch time from work, went back to work an hour later asking for the Friday off 2 weeks later as that was the day I got married. Rang my mum litterally said "What are you doing 2 weeks on Friday? Im getting married"

Couldn't be doing with all that planning for months and months on end.

Yes there are 2 things I wish I had done differently, but I think that would have been the same if I had planned it on a longer term.