to think planning a wedding is doable in 18 months from scratch?

[kiwicatastrophe]

Please don't flame. We haven't planned or decided or thought of a single thing and it's feeling a bit overwhelming. We have Dc2 due in may and I don't want that to be anymore stressful than it will be (lots of other things going on). Anyone that's congratulated us on our engagement has made a huge point of how if we don't book soon they will all be booked up and they all when we say we don't know where we are having it. The thought of thinking of any of it after what people have been saying is making me feel like I've got no idea what I'm doing. It's like our whole families have gone bridezilla asking constantly if so and so can be bridesmaid ect and I just want to scream leave me alone we don't know what we're doing. I know they are all just excited and not trying to be rude at all but am I right in thinking it's just not doable. should we postpone another year or two?

Congratulations - on your pregnancy and engagement! We did ours in 5 months. If we'd spent any longer it would've just given those poking their noses in even longer to poke in their noses! The quicker you can do it, the better I reckon. Easier said than done, but please try to ignore the people pestering you. Those who can make it will be there and those who can't will send their regrets and be done with it. Forget what everyone else wants and work to your own timeframe.

Tell your family you'll let them know when you can but anyone who bags gets booted down the list (it's working for me)

You can plan a wedding in less than a week.

You can delegate and hire a planner to take away all of the stress to do all the bitty stuff for you leaving you with the delicious "I like this and this and this" bit. They sort everything and Eh voila! Perfect wedding

I should know, I'm an events planner. I'm also planning my own wedding at the moment.

Where are you based and do you have a budget

Are you seriously contemplating eloping yet OP?

There's a lot to be said for it although AIBU would be a poorer place without Bridezillas (or in this case, Miscellaneous Relative zillas)

Though you will be very busy in this time, 18 months might be too long to plan! I think I would have gone crazy with that much planning/changing mind time. I did it I in about three months with help from my mom, sister, and a friend. (Fiancé lived 3500 miles away at the time.). I would be quitting my job, leaving my family and friends, and moving abroad afterwards, so there were so many other things to do in addition to wedding planning. And that was probably best. It is a great day, but it is one day and goes by super-fast. Things will go "wrong" and that is nearly almost always ok. We had a Friday night wedding because Saturdays were already booked. As a bonus, it was a bit cheaper. And anyone who loves you enough to be there will be fine with taking a day off of work if needed.

Speaking of loved ones... It is your day, your husband's, and your children's. Don't let anyone else pressure you into anything you don't want. We had just a maid of honor and best man and I really liked that. It felt like a very intimate ceremony happening up there. Congrats and enjoy the planning!

It completely depends what you want.

We had the local church, the village hall, a local caterer who'd just come out of the military, the village flower arranging club, a friend of a friend who made cakes for fun... Saturday in mid August. We started organising about six months in advance, but by no means spent six months organising IYSWIM.

No issues with them being booked up at all - the common factor tended to be people saying "nobody ever asks us to do weddings!" and getting excited as a result. I love that my wedding was also special for a bunch of other people, instead of being one in hundreds of wedding cakes she'd made and so on.

Planned mine in less than 8 weeks but to be fair only had 45 people in total and apart from the church I wasn't fussed on venue etc, it was an amazing day very small and simple. Or so people keep telling me, it being small made it very intimate and special.

My brother & his fiancée have been planning theirs for about a year with just under a year to go before the day but theirs will be on a massive scale compared to mine.

Good luck and enjoy planning

18 months is ample enough time, why on earth would it not be? I thought this was a joke thread. Did mine in less than three weeks whilst also working. It doesn't take long at all to organise.

I went from engaged to married in 11 months. It's totally do-able. The last couple of months were very stressful but then from observation they always are. In fact for us the shorter the better, I was so sick of talking about weddings and bending to others' demands! Was glad to have it over with.

We planned ours in exact 18 months. First thing to do is book church, reception venue, catering, photographer, flowers , transport and order your dress and for any bridesmaids. You can do that in a few moaths.

We got engaged in October and sorted all the above out by April / May. Then ds1 was born in July so nothing at all happened for a few months! When a bit of sanity returned to life in the autumn, we sorted out invitations etc. Final details were done in Jan/Feb and we got married in April.

We had around 100 people at ours. And it was a pretty traditional wedding. But of course you can have as big or small, as relaxed or informal as you like, and the amount of organisation needed varies accordingly!

My husband and I met one June evening. 3 months and 6 days later, we were married. In that time we dated, got engaged, got married and moved in together.

Registry office. Dress. Suit. Rings. A few guests/witnesses. Nandos after just me, Husband and Best Man. Train to the hotel we were starting our honeymoon in. Honeymoon was gigs, days out, beach, coach trip to Isle of Wight. It was perfect. (My passport was stolen before we met. Husband wanted to do Paris, Edinburgh and London. This was a brilliant Plan B.)

It depends on the kind of wedding you want. If it all gets too much and stressful, simplify it. Decide where you want to get married, choose a date and that's step 1. Your wedding day doesn't have to be a huge, expensive day! You have a child due. Do you want to be married before they arrive, or would you rather they be a part of your wedding day?

Make lists. Delegate anything you can to someone else. Budget. Don't go into debt for one day!

I wish you all the best! :)

In an ideal world, we would have eloped abroad. What we did was the next best thing. It was the best day. Just about me and my husband getting married.

Did ours in 11 months - church wedding & reception for about 80 in early April. There was quite a lot of DIY involved though, which was exactly as we wanted it .

We planned ours in 3 weeks but didn't get married for 3mo. I had to cram it all in before leaving the town where we were getting married. It helped loads that we already attended the church, so it was just a case of booking the date. We were on a really tight budget so booked the meal at a pub with a large room in the grounds. We were very lucky with the photographer who happened to be free on our date because another couple eloped

The key things are church/registry office etc, reception venue, photographer.

We had lots of friends help us, so my maid of honour did all the flowers (used to work in a florist!), my mum did the cake (with the help of her cake decorating class and tutor, I think everyone made flowers), my uni friends chipped in and bought us a night at a hotel for after the wedding (exceptionally welcome and another thing I didn't have to organise). The night before the wedding was decorating the church and reception venue.

Just be organised (list/plan on a spreadsheet) and it's quite easy.

I booked our venue 12 months in advance, to make sure we got it, but then did nothing else until about 8-10 weeks before. Was in hospital for part of that time with a punctured lung and it was still plenty of time.

I agree with others. Plan and book what you want and only share when you absolutely have to (when it's a done deal). I made the mistake of telling my FIL about the buffet choices we made and he insisted on phoning the caterers to change all our choices, as they didn't suit his taste! He got politely told where to go ha ha.

As you've seen the church you want, go and contact them to see if they will marry you (some won't if you're not in their congregation or at least have local connections.) If they say yes, book a date for next summer. Tell everybody. Then get on with having your baby, and organise the other stuff a couple of months before W-Day :)

We did it with little stress in 11 months.

Top tip. Buy one wedding mag. It will have a countdown to your wedding planner. Each month do the jobs on the planner. Sorted. (Or these days Google countdown to wedding planner)

Good luck, it's a fun time!

We did ours in 8 weeks, we got the venue we loved and the church that we wanted with no problems. But, we did get married at a quiet time of year for weddings so I think that made the difference in terms of things being available. The downside was that the florists were almost all closed so we did have to settle, they did an amazing job though even though the flower choice was very limited (winter). I don't think it could have all gone any better!

Have an idea of the type of day you want, like you I have a huge family so small and intimate was never going to happen. On the day it did feel intimate even though it was big! It's all about the venue and the atmosphere.

My advice would be that if you know of a venue that would suit your needs then give them a ring soonish and check their availability for the summer you want. You can provisionally book without a deposit for most places but they will require a deposit about a year/9months before. Others just take the booking and then call of they get another enquiry and give you first refusal. You could provisionally book a few and then you will have a choice.

Just enjoy every minute, I think other people get over excited when engagements are announced and it can make you panic a bit! Once everyone is used to it you can start to plan in your own time, it will only be as stressful as you let it. Good luck! And congratulations.

I booked my wedding in June for an October wedding BUT we got married on a beach in Florida. The only real problem I had was finding a dress from a bridal shop. So if you are intending on getting married soon then the thing to start organising first is your wedding dress. I ended up getting a stunning sample dress in the end. But it was pure stress!

I should say booked I booked our wedding in June for a wedding in Oct of the same year!

Did ours in 5 months. Someone I know did it in 2 weeks. What's with the planning for 2 years these days? I'd be bored of it before it happened!!

I really enjoyed organising mine quickly it meant I didn't stress about details iyswim my friend was a quivering wreck I was her bridesmaid and she fretted over every single detail she was all booked and sorted within a few months but had a year to wait so was always wanting to change something I reckon thats why women go all bridezilla its the waiting about.

Hire an events organiser. Lots of people are saying they did it in X weeks - but most of them didn't have two small children.

Of course it is possible to organise it yourself but it isn't a breeze (sorry) and it will be another stress when you will have enough on your plate. An event organiser will take the hassle for you. Don't rule it out on expense ground as they can really keep the budget down too.

(I am not an event planner btw! I just regret not letting someone else do the work).

Was married on Oct 9th . Three months planning, 96 guests,full 'white wedding' . And I was in the Midlands, wedding was in Wales. In those days (32 years ago) you couldn't book the registrar (I am a Methodist) til three months before the wedding anyway...
It's perfectly do-able .Find and book venue, then dedicate a day, make a list and work through it I think some people just enjoy the long drawn out nature of it and bore everyone else rigid for months whittering on about 'themes' and chair backs..chair backs for f---s s.ake

PS My matron of honour bought two bolts of silk in Hong Kong, sent me samples .I chose preferred colour and she had it made up locally by a dressmaker to pattern we'd agreed . I didn't see it til the morning of my wedding. And her husband ,who sang a solo during the ceremony, flew back from Germany the day before .
I never thought I was laid back but perhaps I am . Wedding was lovely (everyone said so) and as far as I recall nothing went wrong.
Email etc must make it even easier these days

Of course it is possible to organise it yourself but it isn't a breeze

That depends on whether you're likely to get all obsessive over having everything the exact same shade of your theme colour, worry for weeks about table decorations and be led astray by salespeople. I found it a breeze, tbh! I took two days off work and delegated a lot to keep costs down :)

I planned mine in about 12 months and my sister has just planned hers in 9 months. Very doable.