... to ask if MN has a grumpy 'old' women topic?

[Pipbin]

I know there is pedants corner but I was wondering if there was anywhere where like minded people who want to complain about words like amazeballs, and other grumpy things can go and be grumpy without being told to get a life?

I read the Elf on a Shelf thread last night. I understand from it that one can buy Christmas bog roll. I was overcome by a wave of vertigo-induced nausea as I stared down into the gulf which yawns between Elfers and Haterz.

It's not as though I don't enjoy Christmas. I start the stocking-planning in about January. But that bloody elf

I love you all.

But I did put Xmas loo roll in the stockings last year.

I love Christmas, I really do. But elf on the shelf...that hideous elf on the bloody shelf....makes me twitch something awful.

That and 'I think my 15yo may have stopped believing in Santa, what do I do, the magic is broken'

Twitch twitch twitch

I NEVER remember believing in Santa. Even as a small child. Never did me any harm. Bloody Christmas magic.

Wanders off to make more tea and mumble to myself

MrsJolly - oh thank goodness. I just went to the Elf on the Shelf thread and demanded reference materials on the matter.

Its driving me mad.

Can we arrange to have a sort of troll invasion of old MN old gimmers on the Elf on the Shelf thread?

.... and another thing.

When I joined MN some years ago the concept of glittery flashing objects on screen was widely derided and abhorred. This was definitely something for that other parenting site.

Now MN makes my eyes hurt. I dont know where to look. Its all Twitter scroll this and pop up adverts that.

I dont want to 'Like' or 'Pin it' or 'Tweet'. What the heck is 'g+1'?

Is there some sort of 'Accessibility' version for old gimmers with big simple buttons to click?

Can somebody point me to the area of Mumsnet that isn't a lot of old women moaning?

Thank fuck for this thread, I have found my spiritual home. The annual Christmas madness with magazine covers screaming "432 things to do to make your Christmas easier!" provokes stroppy eye rolling chez Fresh.

And as for Elf on a sodding Shelf...sheesh.

I don't even need to find the elf on the shelf thread. From the scant information provided on this one I know it will give me the rage. Yep, a hater.

Shop staff who insist on putting the tiniest thing into a massive plastic bag, then say "are you sure?" when I say I don't need a bag. If I ever bought a lottery ticket I'm sure it would be presented to me in a plastic bag.

I NEVER remember believing in Santa. Even as a small child. Never did me any harm. Bloody Christmas magic.

My sister and I were so dubious we used to set traps for Santa, but that's a whole other thread. I can't provide details as I would be outing myself. Suffice it to say that they were subtle traps and we persevered until we had our answer. I was 7 when I knew for sure.

Argy - there are 2 devolved administrations in the UK where you have to pay for carrier bags. You just need to move.

Or maybe just one. I think it might be the Irish republic where you pay, not NI.

Tiggy, they're not moaning on the Elf on a Shelf thread, because all the haterz are over here. Moaning about them and their bloody Elf.

Tiggy

I am one of the haterz, but I always have a compulsion to wind myself up so am off to read about the elf.

On grumpies...I think I love you all (Sorry, that's not very grumpy). I have read the last couple of pages of the thread and find myself in complete agreement with everything.

Elves on shelves - what happened to a good old Advent Calendar? (And they never used to have chocolate in - we were content with a bit of glitter and a picture of a stocking)

Technology -= I own a "thickphone" (the opposite of a Smartphone). It texts, it calls, it's very cheap. Job done.

And daft spellcheck messages. I bet it checked American spelling.

And another thing... Strange singulars used in fashion & beauty journalism
"A navy trouser" " a nude lip".
WRONG.

Almost everything written by fashion and beauty journalists TBH. 'Rocking the look', 'must haves', proclamations about how unbearable life would be without that £50 moisturiser .

I stupidly got a heavily discounted subscription to Red magazine I think because I flicked through a copy in the dentists that had a couple of vaguely interesting articles in it. After 2 or 3 issues I realised that just about every word written in it was drivel and it was about 85% adverts.

Fair point Ilkley. I stick to "Gardening from Which," so I can be an expert on which lawnmower or potting compost to buy!

To go with your Christmas bog roll:

Singing Toilet Paper Holder

I bet it checked American spelling.
You have to set your spell checker for 'British English' FFS.

I hate all this pressure put on over Christmas to have such a brilliant time and the way you are made to feel like you have failed if you don't have this brilliant Christmas that looks like this:

We should start a thread about Grinch traditions - only haterz allowed.

I feel sad that i wrote haterz

I love this thread, I too am a grumpy old woman, though to be fair I have probably been one since my early twenties. I don't have children so I've never had to grapple with elf on a shelf, so I can release myself from the need to get grumpy about it.

My pet hate in interiors magazines is seasonal furniture, 'this summer treat yourself to a stylish, zingy citrus sofa'. No, I will keep my neutrally coloured furniture until it is unusable or I die, whichever comes first.

Dido:
Thickphone .

Agree about fashion mags. Also, once you have read one, you feel inadequate about your face, hair, clothes and attitude - until you remember that that is the whole point, because if you didn't feel inadequate, you would ignore the adverts, and wouldn't contemplate spending a mere £350 on 'a navy trouser' rather than £30 on another pair of Gap jeans on sale.

So I don't read them.

I have never heard of "e!f on a shelf" before now.
As a GOW I offer you "bean in a washing machine" (turns everything grey)
"Loafer on the sofa" (self explanatory)
"Killer in the chiller" (the x rated version)

I'm tired,grumpy and hungover. I might just stay on this thread today after I've had a little nap on the sofa.