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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it's OK not to wear a poppy?

61 replies

PieceOfResistance · 10/11/2014 12:22

I think it's pretty frowned on in some quarters if you don't wear one.

I'm fully in favour of remembrance day in its initial peace-promoting purpose, and of commemorating all the thousands of people who lost their lives.

But I worry that poppy day sometimes serves to glorify war, and to raise a kind of patriotism which, to my mind, is definitely not entirely positive.

OP posts:
Original poster
PieceOfResistance · 10/11/2014 12:23

Oops, just realised there is already a thread about this (kind of). As you were.

OP posts:
AesSedai · 10/11/2014 12:24

Sigh

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 10/11/2014 13:00

How does it glorify war?Confused

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 10/11/2014 13:03

I think people should be free to wear or not wear a poppy without criticism.

chocolatemademefat · 10/11/2014 13:21

What can be wrong about showing respect by wearing a poppy? The wars happened and nothing will change that and if it gives servicemen and women a boost by showing them we care what's the problem? This is such an unnecessary thing to discuss - show respect or don't. Your choice - which they fought for.

Felyne · 10/11/2014 13:30

If a stranger asks you where your poppy is (would they really?) you could always look down at your lapel and fake an "Oh no, it's fallen off" sad face if you feel you must.

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 10/11/2014 13:32

Why would they need to fake a sad face and suggest the poppy had fallen off? Why not just accept that some people don't want to wear a poppy?

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 10/11/2014 13:34

Oh sorry, I see that you mean the person not wearing a poor having a sad face and faking it having fallen off. I got that the wrong way round.

JustAShopGirl · 10/11/2014 13:34

I remember with or without a poppy - and would not notice if someone else had one or not.

The only time I notice is when the BBC suddenly becomes poppy-central - we KNOW they have just been told they HAVE to wear one.

Cheapens it, and does not necessarily show any respect at all.

So I do agree slightly that there appears to be an air of "poppy fascism" around at this time of year. But do feel that I am not directly affected by it.

Madratlady · 10/11/2014 13:36

Of course it's OK to not wear a poppy. I don't want to, so I don't.

AMumInScotland · 10/11/2014 13:37

I don't get why we have so many threads about this, this year. Wear a poppy or don't wear one. Wear a white or purple one if you prefer. Give money to charities which help those affected by war, or don't. Totally your choice.
Unless you're going to a remembrance service, I don't think you'll have huge numbers of people noticing and commenting about your lack of a poppy.

I haven't ever noticed poppy wearing, or remembrance services, having any tone of 'glorifying' war or of encouraging any negative kinds of patriotism. They are about remembering that people died in wars in the past, and continue to die in wars in the present, or were/are maimed and injured, or left bereaved. It doesn't seem like any kind of problem that we should focus on that one day a year.

DogCalledRudis · 10/11/2014 13:37

I don't wear a paper poppy, i have a wristband, which isn't very visible. Never had any negative encounters about not wearing a poppy.

AMumInScotland · 10/11/2014 13:38

Oh, according to the Radio Times, the presenters haven't been told they have to wear a poppy. They have been told they can between certain dates. But I guess there is a lot of peer pressure so very few of them will want to make an obvious point of not wearing one when everyone esle seems to be.

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 10/11/2014 13:39

I don't wear a poppy. DS & I bought poppies and added them to the poppy sculpture thingy in the shopping centre. DS got to talk to some real life war veterans - he was really chuffed.

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 10/11/2014 13:42

Posted to soon! (Again.)

I think it's a really nice thing to do with the poppies, much better than stuffing one on your coat (and losing it).

Kewcumber · 10/11/2014 13:51

IME experience soldiers past and present (who generally are who we are remembering) glorify war less than anyone else I've ever met.

I wear a poppy to remember all those ordinary people who died fighting in wars we have been involved in since 1914.

I have never been tutted at for not wearing a poppy - I am amazed that so many people seem to have been. Who exactly tells you off? Confused

It would be nice to have a "memorial day" to remember all those who have died and continue to die in wars as well as a veterans day type thing that we currently have but I am amazed the number of threads it prompts every year.

Kewcumber · 10/11/2014 13:53

And most people certainly don't glorify the first world war - surely the most common attitude to the first world war was that it was a big pointless tragic loss of life which acheived little and pretty much wasn't concluded until the Second world war.

Although it arguably did help bring in votes for women in this country.

Smukogrig · 10/11/2014 13:55

Of course it doesn't glorify war but it is of course ok not to wear one.

ChoochiWoo · 10/11/2014 13:58

I haven't bought a poppy but put dome money in the poppy chugger. ..my conscience is clear!

BigbyWolf · 10/11/2014 13:59

I'm sick hearing the complete bollocks that poppies/poppy day glorify war!
For god's sake, thousands of men gave their lives in circumstances we can't even begin to imagine.
I wear a poppy to remember them and the ultimate sacrifice they made.
If anyone thinks wearing a poppy is glorifying war or promoting the wrong kind of patriotism (whatever that is) then they can sod off.

sickntiredtoo · 10/11/2014 14:00

Poppies are not glorifying war they are the diametric opposite.
I have a 19 yo son.If he had had the misfortune to have been born 100 years earlier he would have been sent over the top to futiley run towards a line of men shooting machine guns at him. The officers were toffs who paid for their commission and knew nothing about warfare and cared nothing for the hundreds of thousands of sons, fathers, brothers who were treated as nothing more than cannon fodder.
Op I suggest you look at your DC and imagine them lying hours in agony bleeding to death in the mud.
We must NEVER forget and that is why I wear my poppy with pride.

TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot · 10/11/2014 14:10

I don't think poppies are to glorify war either, more to remember the horrors of war so we can try not to repeat them, and also to remember all those who died.

aermingers · 10/11/2014 14:13

Mine falls off all the time so I usually end up without one. My husband doesn't wear one for ideological reasons because he is Irish. Like that Irish footballer who was taking a lot of flack over the weekend. It annoys be because there are very good reasons why Irish people don't wear them, and to object to them not wearing one is just utter ignorance of Irish history. How can you insist someone informs themselves about and respects your history when you won't take the time to do the same for them?

GratefulHead · 10/11/2014 14:13

Poppies do not glorify war. What they do is ask that we remember those who have died. And also those who survived with sometimes long term illnesses . The money raised helps to support them.

merrymouse · 10/11/2014 14:19

I don't think it glorifies war and I don't think there is any pressure to wear one. I always buy one, but always lose it or forget to put it on or it falls off or it isn't visible.

Have never felt like a social pariah.