to want a joint account after fronting all 15k deposit for our family home?

[Jemima1988]

I hadn't been with my new partner very long before we fell pregnant. Our son is now 5 weeks old and we are a happy little family. I have been saving alone for a while and due to certain circumstances I have 15k to put down as a deposit for our first family home, my partner has no savings at all.
I mentioned that we should get a joint bank account that both out wages should go into so we can pay for everything out if that. I am a firm believer in what's mine is yours I never ever refer to the 15k as being mine is OUR money for OUR house. due to me being on maternity, our plans for my return to work and my partners up and coming promotion he is on a lot more money than me. I think this is putting him off the joint account?!? also he talks about splitting bills 50/50 this would leave me with less than 1/4 of my wages and leave him over half of his. A IBM to ask for a family account when I am investing so much up front or is his way the only fair way? Xx

I agree she should rent now. But maternity leave could be just a few months.
My point is that at this time he is more dependent on her savings for the mortgage than she is on his salary.

I disagree, neither would get a mortgage on their own without what the other is bringing to the party - I think it would be quite different if one of them were able to buy a house on their own.

where's the OP gone anyway?

According to the Barclays mortgage calculator, for a salary of 20k, and a deposit of 15k, it would be possible to get a mortgage of 110k.
For whatever salary and no deposit, there are no mortgage products available.

Barclays mortgage calculator is an absolute best case scenario- it doesn't ask any questions about outgoings, debts or most importantly in the OP's case, dependants.

Having a child will reduce her ability to borrow.

It's all a bit academic really anyway as we've no idea how much she earns or what her childcare costs would be anyway.

I think the fundamental point here is that the OP and her DP have very different views on how things should be and they're not compatible views. Committing to a mortgage together at this stage wouldn't be very wise.

You can get a 2 bed house for £70k near(ish) to me. So even with dependents I am sure with a £20k salary she could manage that, so it rather depends on house prices where she is. If a 2 bed would be doable then I would be inclined to keep the savings where they are and then buy on her own when she is back at work. If they marry then the house becomes the marital home and if not then it is still hers.

And I agree that what he is expecting it totally unreasonable.

"You can pay the £15k deposit because I have no savings, but I also expect you to pay 50/50 of everything even though you are on £100 a week SMP and I earn considerably more than you"

Fuck. That.

As I said above, I think she should agree to 50/50 and she will start contributing her share after he has paid both his AND her share until he too has paid out £15k!

I too suggest you look at what you can buy alone. Most lenders use pre mat leave salary providing you confirm you are going back on the same salary and hours.

50/50 split, he hasn't got any deposit. Hmm cake and eat it springs to mind.

May I ask how much rent does he pay your mum?
How much has he put in savings with his lower living costs?
What is his day to day attitude to money? Buying nappies, baby clothes, food, milk etc?

I was in a very similar position when we had dd1, we'd been together just a few months when I got pg and we rented in the city centre. I put down the deposit for our first flat and I didn't ringfence it. However we decided that I wouldn't go back to work so he'd be paying for everything. From that moment it became our money, he's never said the money that comes into the house is his and we've almost forgotten that it was me who paid the deposit. Over the years (dd1 is now 15) I've had a few part time jobs and have earnt a fraction of what he now brings in and again it's just all gone I to the pot to be split.

If you continue to have separate finances what happens if you have more children and make the choice to stop work or go part time? Don't be one of those posters who can't afford to go for a coffe with friends while their partners are splashing out on whatever they fancy. You really must iron this out right now.

OP, I hope you have got something out of the conversations that have been going on. Good luck in whatever you may decide and I sincerely hope things work out well for you and you DS. x