To think this is unfair (child care related)

[babyiwantabump]

Background : I have a 10 month old DS am currently on maternity leave but going back to work soon . DP works full time . In laws were going to be providing a small amount of child are for us as they are both retired my parents both still work full time .

Now basically SIL has recently had a baby . The in laws have now said that they cannot provide the small amount if child care as they now have to look after SIL.

SIL is married , lives with her partner and is 10 years older than me. She is a stay at home mum. She goes to her parents with the baby every day and her mum occasionally goes to SIL's to stay overnight.

AIBU to feel pissed off that because SIL is being precious I may have to reduce my work hours and loose ££ a week as we effectively now have no child care and we were promised it first!

Dons hard hat but crosses arms and sulks!

Mama I degree with you but then it's only fair to let the OP know ASAP when you have made a promise bit to tell her that really because of X and Y you round like to reorganise things and agree to do it for a few months until she has found a place at nursery/CM for her dc. Because they promised to do so.
Well that's what nice people do in my world anyway.

That's a really shit thing of them to do. But at least you know what kind of people they are now.

You need to sort your partner out too. He needs to shape himself.

If you can get another place but it doesn't start when you need it to, I'd get dp to see if IL can do it til then, you can get a place, it's a question of til when. They bear some responsibility and short term surely they can cope?

Sorry x-post with where, wish there was a delete!

Yanbu, they offered and then pulled out. They would forever be on my shit list after that

Hope you can get child care sorted OP. And dont rely on the ILs again.

OP if you take only one thing from this thread, please let it be castle milk 's lady post.

Why are the PILS fine to support their DD but not their DS (OPs DH)

It may not feel fair but it is their prerogative to do childcare for one , other, both or neither. As the dc is not op's first it may be that they think, or indeed have been told , that there are alternative options and it is less important to support op than sil.

If you are a couple then you have shared income, shared outgoings, not 'his bills'. Add up all your bills together, including childcare, take away from total joint incomes. This is what you have left - between you. Then you can start to make plans and decisions, together, about how to solve the financial implications of the withdrawal of childcare offer.

Definitely get your DP more involved OP. YANBU to be pissed off at being let down and the favouritism. My opinion is that the lower wage earner should stay home if anyone, more sensible. Your DP should step up and find childcare, he may appreciate it more!