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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
ShesAnEasyWuffer · 06/11/2014 18:28

Raining Thanks

BigRedBall · 06/11/2014 18:39

I wasn't unreasonable. I've had support on the thread and in private messages. People have resorted to private messaging me support now because they're too afraid on the thread incase lunatics start harassing them too.

The only bullies on this thread are the ones disagreeing with me, calling me a liar, calling me all sorts of names. The bullies are the ones talking down to me and to others who support me, and scaring people who agree with me off the thread.

I know what I saw. I'm not repeating myself again. I did the right thing. I'd do it again if I saw a child in needless distress.

And for the last time, please read the OP. All answers about WHY I've posted here are in it. I haven't drip fed anything, or changed my story.

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 06/11/2014 18:42

I might have worded that wrong. I'm not saying all those disagreeing with me are bullies. I'm saying the ones who are calling me a liar and name calling are the bullies.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 06/11/2014 18:45

Ywbu.

I doubt you'd appreciate a stranger telling you how to treat your child.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 06/11/2014 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

famalam · 06/11/2014 18:55

LOL

The mother sounded uncaring and selfish ftom your description of the situation so perhaps yanbu but I don't think I would have said anything.

The GP upthread was obviously talking about slightly neglectful parents, not normal ones who decide to have an evening out when genuinely sure their child isn't too ill.

Crazy thread.

MiddletonPink · 06/11/2014 18:57

My god OP you are delusional.

You were unreasonable.

You didn't have to give that women your snotty bit of advice. You had no right to say what you did.

If you were the caring person you are trying to portray yourself as you would have gone to the mum and asked her if she needed a hand, ask her was she and her ds ok.

Instead of coming on here making out you're mother fucking superior.

Yabu. Get it?

CrashDiveOnMingoCity · 06/11/2014 19:00

"People have resorted to private messaging me support now because they're too afraid on the thread incase lunatics start harassing them too."

This is a classic line that always gets trotted out on these threads.

By the way, in case is two words. Wink Never normally give two fucks about SPaG but as you picked on someone else's.....!

FormulaIsBetter · 06/11/2014 19:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BigRedBall · 06/11/2014 19:11

You can get as frothy mouthed as you like. It's getting quite entertaining reading all the hysterical responses.

I was not unreasonable.

And that "classic line" is normally the truth. I can see why many people resort to pm-ing the OP instead of replying on a thread.

OP posts:
BigRedBall · 06/11/2014 19:12

You didn't have to do that FormulaIsBetter. But Thank You. You're right.

OP posts:
CrashDiveOnMingoCity · 06/11/2014 19:15

Well, I'll apologise and eat my words. You have not been the most pleasant person on this thread either to be honest, not saying that I am a paragon of virtue or anything though. It doesn't reflect well on the majority of MN either. It's not always like this.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 19:15

Blimey formula, you don't sound like much of a shrinking violet I must say.

How is this thread even still here, it's been proper mental since yesterday.

WilburIsSomePig · 06/11/2014 19:15

Well I do think the OP was being a bit unreasonable. BUT I wasn't there so perhaps I would have felt differently if I had been.

Either way, I will never in all my days get why some people seem to really enjoy ripping a poster to shreds as has happened on this thread. Thank god we're not all like that.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 19:18

I keep saying that most people are not saying not to say anything ever in case she had a bad day.

Just pointing out that having s word a pop or whatever at the mother is not the most helpful way to go about things.

But it's turned into anyone disagreeing is a guardian arse wiping trouser shit bag or somesuch.

CrashDiveOnMingoCity · 06/11/2014 19:19

I'm not saying that people don't over step the line but on the other hand, OP gave as good as she got. Yes - I hear you say - it's only self defence, except that's not how it was at all.

FormulaIsBetter · 06/11/2014 19:20

Crash, who are you, mumsnet swear monitor? So what if the OP 'hasn't been the most pleasant person on the thread'? At least she's got fucking balls and doesn't fuck around offering a tissue to monstro-mum in Primark.

MiddletonPink · 06/11/2014 19:21

Formula don't pretend you pm'd the OP because you were scared.

OP you were unreasonable.

Stop trying to convince us by saying otherwise.

Can I ask if you were that bothered about the child why didn't you try and help him? Like a caring person would have.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 19:23

So it's ok for you and OP to complain about other peoples conduct on thread but other people are not at liberty to do likewise.

Gottit.

MiddletonPink · 06/11/2014 19:25

Formula you think what the OP did/said helped that little boy in ANY way?

Did it fuck.

All it did was make the OP feel smugger and more self righteous than she already is.

Asking how the child was, did the mum need wipes, some water was the right thing to do.

HaroldLloyd · 06/11/2014 19:27

All I can say is I am never going in Primark again.

Jolleigh · 06/11/2014 19:28

Wow, there's no need for half of these disgusting responses on both sides of the argument. I wonder if you all conduct yourselves like that in RL. This is a debate people, not a sewer.

burgatroyd · 06/11/2014 19:29

YANBU!

fourwoodenchairs · 06/11/2014 19:34

No Big, you really were being unreasonable.

Don't post on AIBU asking us if we think you are or not, then flounce when people point out your inconsistencies, then pop back saying you've had support in PM's.

We've heard it all before.

EllenMumsnet · 06/11/2014 19:37

Evening folks. Can we just post a reminder of our guidelines.

If y'all could take a few deep breaths, and think happy thoughts, would that help? Grin