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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To have told a woman to take her shivering child home to bed in Primark

742 replies

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 17:55

I went out today to get a few bits and bobs and ended up in a Primark. Got to the lifts and saw a woman waiting with a pushchair and on it was hanging a school bag. Looked to her side and she had a school aged child with her who was visibly ill, shivering, moaning. I assumed she'd picked him up from school and was dropping by on way home, but then realised school bag was from a school other side of town.

We went up together and the boy was whimpering now and looked really bad. The mother didn't seem to notice/care.

So I was walking around and the tanoy went off asking for a store cleaner to go to "area bla bla bla" for a clean up. Didn't really take any notice until I walked to the other side of the shop and the same woman was standing there with a now crying baby in pushchair and crying/ shivering child who had been sick all over the shop floor. There were splatters of pink sick on clothes, the mirrors, it was disgusting and she was stood there on the phone to someone and was telling the boy off.

I don't know about anyone else, but when my children get ill and shiver like that with fever, the last thing I'd do is traipse them across town. I'd give them a hug and put them in bed and hold their head if they were being sick. Goodness knows vomiting is draining even for an adult.

I felt so angry for the poor boy. So I walked up to her and said "instead of bringing him to the shops from school, you should've taken him home to bed. I'd take him straight home and give the poor thing a hug".

I think she was more shocked than anything.

DH thinks I wbu and is shocked I'd say that to someone. I don't think I am. Also, I now feel sick and think I have his germs.

OP posts:
CountryMummy1 · 05/11/2014 22:56

I am firmly of the belief that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. You cannot know what that women's life is like and what circumstances brought her there. Sure, she may have been a shit, selfish mother but she might not have been.

A few months ago I was that women, having taken 2 poorly babies into Marks and Spencers. My
Youngest threw up everywhere, the pram, the floor, me.

Why was I there? I was buying my dying nan a nightie to die in so she wouldn't be in a tatty hospital gown. My mother was at her mother's bedside, my grandad was in hospital himself having had a leg amputated, knowing that his wife was dying nearby. My DH was at work, convincing Ofsted not to fail his college, thus effectively putting him out of a job. There was noone else to go to town that day, only me. Your comment would probably have led to me having a breakdown in the shop.

So please think before you judge.

motherofmonster · 05/11/2014 22:57

Wow, this is going from bad to worse

FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 22:58

Thanks countrymummy1 I cannot even begin to comprehend how utterly rubbish that was for you.

I am sorry for your loss.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 05/11/2014 22:58

Pffft. I went to my local food hall during last term ringing my bell and wearing a sandwich board that said "Hell no Mr peedow!" If you weren't there then you only have yourself to blame.

Waltermittythesequel · 05/11/2014 22:59

Flowers countrymummy

SomeSortOfDeliciousBiscuit · 05/11/2014 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SomeSortOfDeliciousBiscuit · 05/11/2014 23:01

I'm sorry Countrymummy, that was a terrible cross-post on my behalf. Flowers

HaroldLloyd · 05/11/2014 23:02

Saying oh love be careful is fine

Saying excuse me lady your daughter nearly caught her finger in the door,you should be paying attention it's all your fault NOW HUG HER.

Big difference.

All people are saying is go for the first option. Not do nothing ever.

Waltermittythesequel · 05/11/2014 23:02

Yes, it was.

BigRedBall · 05/11/2014 23:02

FrauHelga Don't be so crude. I'm not engaging in anything you have to say.

OP posts:
FrauHelga · 05/11/2014 23:03

Oh? So now you're the thread police too?

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 05/11/2014 23:03

I would simply say your child nearly caught their finger. No need for anything else.

motherofmonster · 05/11/2014 23:04

Tbf 'oh love be careful and id stand her a bit further back if i were you' and stopped a child getting hurt is completely different to seeing a child get their finger stuck and then going upto them afterwards to tell them they should have been more careful and make out they were a shit parent.

theposterformallyknownas · 05/11/2014 23:05

I hope the little boy gets better soon, and they cleaned it up properly.
If it was next to those weird pink t shirts though somebodies in for a surprise, they even look like pink vomit.
Who has pink vomit.
As for holding a child's head whilst they are sick, it might just be me but I've never done that, ever, with 3 kids.
Surely you'd be joining them if you did that.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 05/11/2014 23:07

My son had pink vomit after a milkshake on hastings pier one evening. But it was at my friends house not primark luckily so no need to bollock me and call me a shit parent

DarylDixonsDarlin · 05/11/2014 23:11

I shouted at DD when she was.unexpectedly, suddenly, silently ill in town one day - we were less than a minute away from getting back in the car to go home, and she had been absolutely fine all day.

Just luckily left the final shop and she started throwing up, I grabbed her fast and put her over a nearby drain in the street, but instead of leaning forwards like an adult would, she was leaning backwards and doing it all down her front brand new suede boots and I am not good with tummy ills so as well as trying to manage the baby in the pushchair I ended up yelling at DD to lean FORWARD! FORWARD! whilst probably looking cross and stressed...and then to top it off, I got my phone out and immediately phoned DH for help Blush as he was a couple of shops behind us and on his way but I wanted him to hurry and I was flapping and...you get the picture.

Yeah, so basically I was worse than Primark mum Confused yanking my child about, bending her over a drain, shouting at her and on my phone! If you'd come over to speak to me in the same fashion OP, I'd have told you to get to fuck.

motherofmonster · 05/11/2014 23:11

My little one had rainbow barf once...bloody skittles Confused

I embarrassingly enough nearly phoned a ambulance for myself after being sick after a rather heavy night out and convincing myself i was puking up blood... Turned out it was a mix of fruity cider, aftershock and some cherry vk drinks.. Not my classiest of moments lol

SomeSortOfDeliciousBiscuit · 05/11/2014 23:12

I have reported my own post and asked Mumsnet to remove it as it really was a terrible cross-post and I had no intention of upsetting Countrymummy, or mocking what happened to her, which is how I think it could come across. I picked a really bad example there and I'm sorry.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 05/11/2014 23:13

Well mother if someone as sage as the OP had been in the bar and bollocked you before the event then you would never have got drunk. Or done anything unwise!

theposterformallyknownas · 05/11/2014 23:15

mother Grin I've lead led? a very sheltered life, being all innocent and that.

Somebody told me that pernod and black vomit was a sort of mix of purple, black and green. Oh, that might have been the mushy peas.
I'm northern, we like something moist with our chips. Grin

CountryMummy1 · 05/11/2014 23:15

That's ok SomeSort, no offence taken. I understood what you meant x

motherofmonster · 05/11/2014 23:16

To be honest i could have done with a stern telling and sent to bed that night Grin

motherofmonster · 05/11/2014 23:18

In my yoof i also chunderd into father Christmases hat..that was a low point..so glad im a respectable grown up now Grin

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 05/11/2014 23:18

OP would have told you to go home and give your toilet a hug Wink

sharonthewaspandthewineywall · 05/11/2014 23:19

I vomited into my exes fathers cricket trophy surreptitiously on one bad night on the 20/20