to be sick of people telling me how early they wake up when i say dd is an early riser?

[YorkshireTeaGold]

Dd2 (12mths) often wakes at 5. It kills me and I hate it. Am ill all the time, struggling at work, have no social life as go straight to bed and suffer for weeks if I don't. She's an overtired mess so not even happy and I've tried everything to get her to go longer.

Mention why I'm tired to people without young kids (retirees are the worst) and they bang on about how theyre always awake at 5. Even if this is true (fairly sure it's not) theyre not looking after a sobbing baby at this point or spending all day with a baby and a toddler. Sooo aibu to find this really unsympathetic?

DD was up at 4.45 having woken 3 times in the night. Now shes 3.4 though I can send her away with a colouring book so although I'm awake I'm not being climbed over and whinged at too much. I don't know if its getting easier or if I'm getting used to it...

I really sympathise. My eldest was a great sleeper but DC 2 got up around 5 am (sometimes 5.30) until he was 3 and it nearly ended our marriage! We were lucky (stupid?) enough to have a third child and she is nearly 18 months - has only in the last 6 weeks started "sleeping through" but wakes pretty much on the dot of 5am every morning. I hope DH and I will last the course - I figure it will pass and by age 3 - as a pp said - you can send them off to do something else worst case scenario. Our DC3 won't watch TV for any more than a minute at a time so that doesn't help - at least with DC2 if we had the TV on it would kill a bit of time for us to doze.

IT is absolutely horrendous and nothing comes close. My favourites are from friends (one in particular) "Oh xx (age 6 months) woke at 7.30 this morning aand wouldn't resettle - we had had a really late night so it was torture!" and "Oh god xx (age 3) came in at 6 this morning!" (she and her husband were working that day so I have no idea what time they have to get up for work but 6 has never been particularly early in this house!!)

I've just learned to nod and smile, try and see it that if they really don't have any understanding they probably never will and it's their problem not yours! But yadefnbu.

Sympathies.

My 12 month old is a 5am waker too, sometimes earlier.

It's not even the early starts that's the killer, it's dealing with an over tired, upset baby for hours before breakfast. Every. Single. Day.

Sorry no sympathy here- it is a challenge I agree, but I had a 5am waker for 4 years. Adust your bedtime to compensate. It's not that difficult and it is only for a short time. It's called being a parent,

My 5 DSs were all early risers as toddlers so we just used to use the time to get their violin practice done

It is a killer. I have a child free friend who has to get up at 6am Mon - Fri for work. It was only when she stayed over one Fri night that she realised the DC are up earlier than that 7 days a week and there is no time for a weekend nap. The DC are now better but I am muttering to myself at the moment as, due to the clock change, DS has been up at 5.45 every morning over half term but is still fast asleep this morning so I am about to wake him!
Adjusting sleep patterns doesn't work. To get 8hrs sleep and be up at 5am means going to bed at 9pm. I don't get back from work until 7.30pm & need to have supper, maybe ring a friend or family member which you can't do in the wee small hours etc.

dancingwitch- why not go to bed at 9pm. Surely sleep in more important that chatting with friends?

noteven- your neighbours must love you!!

It is horrible being woken up by a crying or miserable child, it's soul destroying, and if it's before 6.30 it's just plain nasty. Whilst being awake through insomnia or illness is shitty, it's a million times worse when you have to deal with small people.

My sleep is all over the place, I'm knackered as I'm existing on about 3 hrs sleep a night, but thankfully not being woken by anyone else demanding my attention, right now that would finish me off and I'd finish off anyone trilling about how they like being up early etc.

There's a reason sleep deprivation is used to torture people :(

Words fail me Big. Though common sense seems to have failed you.

Why chipping? It's not rocket science to go to bed early- I have never been sleep deprived despite having an early riser for years.

Why only have 3 hours a night? Even when I was tandem feeding a toddler and a newborn every hour through the night I still had my sleep.

I know you are exhausted but if anybody asks dont tell them then you won't be so annoyed or upset competitive tiredness can become an obsession, go to bed with your children take your baby into bed with you she might go back to sleep. Ask someone to take her over night and get some sleep. I have been awake half the night I am most nights I feel ill because of it I don't see how that is any different from being up from 5 with a baby im still tired I still have things to do etc etc.

I do go to bed at 9-9:30pm but honestly that doesn't help at 3:30am. If I'm not working that day then it's easier but I work 4 days a week so have to fit cooking/eating/cleaning/laundry/admin/conversation with my DH/just some fucking time to myself to read a book into the post baby bedtime-pre my bedtime window.

Bigbluestars you are just the most amazing parent wow, I wish I could be half as amazing as you. No wonder you're smug.

Oh god this thread is turning into the usual bullshit. Can't go to bed when the baby does - have household stuff to do. Can't just give the baby to 'someone' (who exactly?) overnight. Baby won't sleep in bed with me. Do you honestly think we don't try this stuff.

Big presumably you missed the posts where I and another pp said that we worked until gone midnight so "Just go to bed early" is not always an option.

You have managed to illustrate exactly the sort of sanctimonious bullshit that the OP is pissed off with. I daresay you were knitting your own yoghurt whilst tandem feeding, but the rest of us mere mortals struggle sometimes.

You might have tried this but someone on here was talking about "wake to sleep" recently. Google it or find the thread?

Big why be so unsupportive? What does it gain you to be so smug? There are lots of reasons why early bedtimes can't happen for everyone. I work after DC in bed. That's also being a parent, just in a different way.

Also multiple wake ups can be v different. I sometimes cosleep (always did up til 10 months) but this doesn't stop some wake ups being two hours long.

bogey= I don't knit- surely yogurt would slip between the needles?

I did start up my own business during my time tandem feeding since you ask.

competitive tiredness not good. Yanbu op.

Let's hope that business didn't rely heavily on being empathetic or having an imagination.

Yanbu. Dd2 managed 5am today and it is a killer, especially with a toddler to look after too. Better than yesterday when it was three am! Really hoping it is a wonder week...

But this is what having kids entails.

So morning starts at 5.30. Big deal.

I guess there are certain parts of motherhood that people struggle with and the lack of sleep is mine. I'm bloody marvelous at the rest of it and could be as smug as some but we all have our issues.

The standard mn response of co sleeping just doesn't work for some and both my Dds sleep best in their cots. I have no one else that can take them, especially not overnight. I'd struggle to get to bed much earlier as house looks like a bombs hit it and we need to eat. Only thing I haven't tried is wake to sleep which is a good idea and if she starts waking at a consistent time I'll try it.

I just find it's really affected my self esteem. Work takes twice as long, I can't loose the last stone of baby weight, dh andI snap at each other, I can't help my sick parents etc etc. The other morning she slept til 6.30 and I had the best day, got so much done! It's all just tiredness and it sucks.

Thanks all for your understanding x

I'm a naturally early riser and am usually up at 5 in the week, 7 at weekends. But I spend the time as I like (no kids!) usually going swimming or running before work, or just having a leisurely breakfast on Mumsnet. Totally different to having to deal with a screaming child, you have my sympathies.

OP why is your baby screaming? Is she ill?