to be annoyed by friend claiming as lone parent?

[Tamzin125]

My friend and her partner have been together for about 7-8 years now, albeit on and off. She lives in a really nice area and has two kids. She claims all the benefits she possibly can on the premise that she's a "lone parent". But she's still with her boyfriend who's the father of both children. Okay he doesn't live with her but he still sees them almost every day, he has a good job, good enough to afford a posh expensive car and they eat out several times a week and go on holiday in the UK 2-3 times a year where she's told me she likes to save up enough to spend £100 per day.

DP and I live in a not so nice area and are currently struggling to pay the bills despite working every hour God sends. I'd love to live where she does but we simply can't afford it. We're lucky if we take DSS on one Sun holiday a year let alone three which are booked direct through the campsite. I don't mean to sound bitter but aibu to be pissed off she's claiming as a lone parent even though she's still with her bf?

Ok, I didn't realise you didn't have children, I just assumed you did. I'm not really sure what the issue is here then, her life just isn't directly comparable to yours at all so I don't see how you can begrudge her life in comparison to yours. She lives on her own with two children, that is pretty hard work. She has to maintain the house as well. If they can't afford for her partner to move in, then it makes sense that he lives at his mother's house. You have even more choices if you don't have children, as you don't have childcare to factor in so if you want to live in a nicer area you could look at getting some extra income, a second job or extra hours.

I would rather have less money and have my husband living here, being a lone parent is hardly an easy option.

Report her.

If she is cheating the system they will stop her benefits. If she is working the system (as is more likely, given the apparently woeful administration) she will get away with it.

Fucking irritating, but apart from reporting in detail, there is little else you can do.

"Other than "

She isn't committing benefit fraud, so shove your sticky beak link.

I'll ask again - is he paying maintenence? I presume not if she is getting max benefits.

I'd rather my tax was spent on someone who really needed it.

She is living alone with 2 kids, paying all the bills, maintaining a relationship with the DCs father, ( I do that too - for their sake and for the sake of being respectful and decent to a man who loves his kids), and claims what she is entitled to.

If she is lying about something or cheating then that is wrong but if she isn't then that's just he way it is.

BMW6 maintenance has no effect on benefits.

There's no point reporting her because she isn't committing benefit fraud. It doesn't matter whether they're a couple it not- she could be shagging the Welsh rugby team for all the DWP care. All that matters is whether he lives there, or not as the case is.

Whether it's morally correct is a different matter altogether.

Haha fuck off with the "my tax" nonsense! You have zero say in where your tax goes. I'm sure your portion is allocated to lamppost maintenance

Whether he's paying maintenance or not is irrelevant as it's not counted anymore (unless it's some astronomical amount).

I speak as a lone parent who receives maintenance - I declare it all (what there is of it) and it's recorded but it isn't counted towards your benefit payments.

If they aren't living together surely there's no fraud here.

The loss of money is sadly what decides many people's relationships in deciding whether or not to live together.

What he is doing is disgusting, completely morally wrong. Living with his parents, buyin fancy cars, not stepping up to support his family full time

What she is doing is providing for her family because her partner is a feckless son of a fucker. He could piss off back to his parents at any time and she'd be left re claiming.

Oh and FYI maintenance has zero affect on almost all benefits.

But she isn't commiting fraud. The DWP rules state that you are a lone parent if you don't have a live-in partner. And she doesn't does she?

You can report her if you wish but you will get precisely nowhere because she is doing nothing wrong.

What Laurie said!

She's not doing anything wrong.

He doesn't live there she is in the benefit world a single parent get over it

Actually, yes, some good points about the bloke in all this.

As usual, the Mum is getting it in the neck while the Dad lives with his parents (probably for very little) and swans about doing his own thing. Why is he not getting shit from the OP for his behaviour?

Because the OPs back is up purely because the woman who has a nicer house and lives in a better area than her

Incase it's not clear from the above post I think the OPs motive in all of this is jealousy.

yabu. she is doing nothing wrong.

Yabvu she's not doing anything wrong.if you feel that way about her you shouldn't be friends.can't believe people are advising the op to report her. Report her for what?

Your friend is putting a good front about her relationship with this guy, you know that, right?

She can't trust him to stay with her. He might have a good job and play at being daddy for a couple of hours a day but he doesn't want to be a FT father or partner.

Shoot, she might be jealous of your stable relationship with your DP.

Just to point out that you can be classed as a couple by DWP if you have financial links even if you live apart.

Mind your own business