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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Any other Mums refusing to take the kids out trick or treating?

244 replies

Theboulderhascaughtupwithme · 31/10/2014 08:37

Just wondering if I totally mean/unreasonable. We do a lot for/ with the kids, clubs, weekend days out, doing stuff at home etc etc but I just cannot muster any enthusiasm for taking me out trick or treating. I find the whole concept of trawling round the houses letting them beg for sweets cringe worthy.

Strangely I have no problem with other kids coming to ors and always have some sweet etc ready for them which makes me feel I am being a bit unreasonable.

Also I don't want to fork out on costumes and I am totally not able or into making them.

So I guess I am giving myself permission to just not do even tho my eldest particularly has been keen and asking to go.

What's other people's stance?

OP posts:
SoleSource · 31/10/2014 20:54

I do not mind and the begging point of view is outdated.

Brassrubbing · 31/10/2014 20:55

I'm gobsmacked by the people who object to Halloween the grounds that it's 'begging'. Let me be among the first to suggest that those people lead pretty sheltered lives if they fail to grasp the difference between a bunch of toddlers dressed as pumpkins, spiders, bats, vampires and one Fireman Sam chorusing 'Happy Halloween' at a neighbour's door and the horror of actual homelessness and poverty.

storytopper · 31/10/2014 20:56

Your colleague had a deprived childhood, soap. As well as enjoying all the guisers this evening, I have spent time on Facebook with friends (and my DS's friends) reminiscing about Halloween fun we used to have. Happy days!

SoleSource · 31/10/2014 20:57

I gave a swathe of kids a banana to share. At least I am promoting healthy eating.

Ilovenicesoap · 31/10/2014 21:00

I don't celebrate Halloween because its not one of the traditions our family has grown up with.
Be gobsmacked all you like - its not my tradition.

ethelb · 31/10/2014 21:00

We have no kids but with an American dad and DP spending part of his childhood in the States we have our supplies in and a horrible American 'sodding' pumpkin in the window, but no trick or treaters came Hmm

Btw trick or treating was v normal when we did it in the se 20 years ago

GoldiandtheBears · 31/10/2014 21:01

I have so many memories of Halloween when I was little. I absolutely loved it. I remember nearly all my costumes, my favourite was my care bear one which was altered pink pyjamas with a rainbow drawn on and a heart on my bum. I was devastated when I had chicken pox one year and had to miss out. Where we grew up it was 'guising' though, and you had to do a turn to get the sweets (joke, poem, magic trick, song).

I would hate to not give my DC those memories.

TheHouseonHauntedHill · 31/10/2014 21:03

We had a fab time, a local woods had a wonderful childrens party ( free) couldnt have been in a better spot.

Then we did trick or treating round us, some houses looked soo magical, blues and orange and green lights, huge silhoutes in windows, lots of black cats, not much gore...lots of magic.

We always have a lovely time but I have to say two or three ladies were beyond lovely this year, chatting and so friendly and wonderful. Smile feels warm hearted

soverylucky · 31/10/2014 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovenicesoap · 31/10/2014 21:05

She seems happy enough and is a lovely person.
I don't feel deprived funnily enough - we had a lovely childhood- Passive /aggressive to suggest that those who don't share your traditions are deprived .
Mind you I don't do FacebookStalkbook either Grin

TheHouseonHauntedHill · 31/10/2014 21:06

Its not begging if people have brought sweets in to give out!!

jellybeans · 31/10/2014 21:06

DH has taken mine a few times but this year we are staying in as DH working and it isn't my thing. We always give out sweets though. I was so so embarrassed as a child that my parents refused to answer the door to neighbours kids, I hated it. It is just a bit of fun.

NickiFury · 31/10/2014 21:06

Grin At bananas. Dd chose a satsuma out of a whole bowl of different treads including chocolate and lollies etc. I was Confused.

screamtoabloodysigh · 31/10/2014 21:09

Personally, I can't be arsed, but ds (5)was so excited about Halloween this year, that I took him. I threw on a costume too. Dd is 3, and just liked walking round in the dark. I don't get the 'begging from strangers' thing; we did the neighbours in our close and I got very jealous of the house on the corner with all the teenagers in, as they were just starting a party. Dh stayed home to dole out sweets to other people.

I was a little shocked today to realise it's almost 30 years since I first went trick or treating. 30 years! Had to check I was adding it up properly.

Ilovenicesoap · 31/10/2014 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kasterborous · 31/10/2014 21:35

Our DD is a bit young at 2.8, we do have some sweets in and have a pumpkin outside so the local kids know we don't mind them calling. DD spent all evening looking out the window for 'monsters' coming and loved answering the door and giving out the sweets.

JuxtheDaemonVampire · 31/10/2014 23:16

I did it once with dd, but our bit of town doesn't have many children and is mostly old people's homes, so there weren't many doors to knock on, poor child. She went a couple of times with a group of girls from her school, when they were a bit older and could go alone, but dd said some of them behaved so badly she didn't want to do it again. Now, in her mid-teens, she took our friends' children round their village, which was a much better place for t or t.

My family, and none of my friends' families did t or t when I was a kid. No one came knocking on our door either. There were no pumpkins, witch costumes or anything remotely Halloweeny. We may have gone to Mass as it was All Hallows Eve or something, but we were Catholics and went to Mass at the drop of a hat.

Italiangreyhound · 31/10/2014 23:35

We have never done it with dd as we did not want to celebrate Halloween. However, dd was very keen to go trick or treating so we have started going treat treating. We take a bag of sweets and go to prearranged people's houses and they give us sweets and we give them sweets! It works for us. Tonight we visited just 3 houses (one person was not in) and dd got a lot of sweets.

We always go to a local church that has a party that has not got a Halloween theme and we enjoy it.

Italiangreyhound · 31/10/2014 23:37

I mean we visited three houses where the people were in, one person said to call round but they might be out. DD seriously go so many sweets from three houses and was do delighted.

In the past we have carved pumpkins with smiley faces!

I just don't want to celebrate the whole scary aspect of it!

Vickisuli · 31/10/2014 23:37

Why would anyone carve a turnip just cos its British, when they are rock hard and not hollow, pumpkins are so much easier??????

My kids have always done it, because they love dressing up, but we only ever go to houses where people have decorations up or a pumpkin. Some people round here go all out with decorating their houses and are obviously keen for people to knock.

My kids are 4,6 and 8, and 'trick or treat' is just a phrase to them, they have absolutely no idea that anyone would ever consider doing anything bad to someone that didn't give them a treat. Several houses we went to this year had run out of sweets, so we just wished them happy halloween and carried on.

We had a party this year for the first time just cos I thought i was fun for the kids to share their costumes with some friends, then we went out trick or treating together, great fun. No menace or begging involved. We had enough sweets at home to stock a sweet shop so it's not really about getting the sweets, it's about the fun of showing people your costume and seeing other people's costumes.

cococandyfloss · 31/10/2014 23:54

When we were little and went guising you couldn't get pumpkins in the shops-it was turnip or 'neep' lanterns....and yes they were bloody hard to carve which is why they all had simple triangle eyes -you can't do fancy stencils of spiderman or tinkerbell in a neep lantern!
Also your costume used to be a paper cone witches hat that your mum helped you make with some stars stuck on it and a black bin bag for a cape -or a white sheet as a ghost! You never got fancy costumes! We have been doing it for the last 30 years and the children really enjoy it-dressing up, parties, dookin for apple and eating dough-rings off strings. Face painting and telling jokes and people giving out sweets. All fun and NO begging!!

Italiangreyhound · 01/11/2014 00:17

I've never understood why watermelon caring did not catch on. They are so much easier to cut and the centre is so much more tasty and does not require cooking.

watermelon

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 01/11/2014 00:31

There was no trick or treating when I was a DC. I first heard of it on a Charlie Brown cartoon. Halloween was just a spooky day when you might go to a fancy dress party and do some apple bobbing or you might do nothing.

In my town it's become bigger over the last 10 years. When DS1 and DS2 were young we dressed up and visited 4 selected neighbours that I had asked in advance if we could pop by. No one had pumpkins or anything out front except us. My DSs have been known to go out dressed as a Dalek and a Cyberman. Tardis Halloween Grin

Now every third house has a pumpkin or more and some go to town with decorations. My DSs are too old now, but we still love carving pumpkins and have a bowl of sweets ready. Tonight we watched Edward Scissorhands then Sleepy Hollow. Johnny Depp, what's not to like?

Whiskwarrior · 01/11/2014 01:09

I'm another who doesn't 'do' Halloween. It certainly wasn't a tradition where I grew up - we stumbled across it (as teens) in American films. I've always been up front with my kids and they know it's not my thing. They're happy enough with that - we make a big deal of birthdays and Christmas, we go to a fantastic display on Bonfire Night and that's enough to be getting on with. I don't feel the need to add in another random celebration just because of peer pressure.

My older two have been trick or treating with friends before now and been to parties (one is at a sleepover tonight, the other is at a party tomorrow night) but I'm reluctant to spend money on costumes they'll wear once then grow out of them. DD has had some braces and a bow tie and gone as Matt Smith's Doctor, DS has had a Batman costume - these are things they'll wear over and over, rather than the nasty, shitty-looking stuff they had in the shops for £12-15.

My biggest grief is, as others have said already, how gory it's getting in this country. We went into town today and there was lots of stuff going on, but it was all blood and body parts. The amount of kids I've seen dressed as horror film characters is worrying - how do they even know who Jason is at that age? I think little kids (certainly under tens) dressed as superheroes, pumpkins, cats and witches is great (and very cute).

I just wish people (on here, at least) would sod off with the whole 'oooh, I feel sorry for your children' - my children are fine, thanks, not deprived of some magical part of childhood - and 'you're mean if you don't do it' - someone even said it was being a grinch! What the fuck? We can't ALL do everything our kids want to do and it's not mean to say no occasionally.

TSSpectreDNCOntheParanormal · 01/11/2014 01:47

I'm in Times Square. Place is jumping with Hallweeners of all ages.