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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Any other Mums refusing to take the kids out trick or treating?

244 replies

Theboulderhascaughtupwithme · 31/10/2014 08:37

Just wondering if I totally mean/unreasonable. We do a lot for/ with the kids, clubs, weekend days out, doing stuff at home etc etc but I just cannot muster any enthusiasm for taking me out trick or treating. I find the whole concept of trawling round the houses letting them beg for sweets cringe worthy.

Strangely I have no problem with other kids coming to ors and always have some sweet etc ready for them which makes me feel I am being a bit unreasonable.

Also I don't want to fork out on costumes and I am totally not able or into making them.

So I guess I am giving myself permission to just not do even tho my eldest particularly has been keen and asking to go.

What's other people's stance?

OP posts:
nokidshere · 31/10/2014 18:11

I'm not bothered about it one way or another really. My two have never wanted to do it and now - at 13 & 15 don't even open the door! I always have treats though for the few who come knocking :)

LandOfCakes · 31/10/2014 18:19

I'm refusing to take my 4 year old out but it's because I think he is too small. I can't believe how miserable some people are in this thread! I'm Scottish though and went out guising 25 years ago, visiting people in my community and performing for them in return for treats. Best houses were the ones that gave you 50p or even better homemade tablet. It wasn't begging for sweets (or money!).

But YANBU to not go - do what you want. DS had been begging me but I think he would have a meltdown and he'll have forgotten but tomorrow.

Wifeandstepmum · 31/10/2014 18:21

I hate Halloween. It's all about death and dark stuff. No way will DSC be going out tonight, but I do give kids who call treats, I'm not going to be miserable about it. We are instead tonight watching happy Christmas movies....

Ilovenicesoap · 31/10/2014 18:23

YANBU - its ghastly to take your DC out asking for sweets when any other day of the year you would recoil in horror !
Its just a load of commercial crap- Ive never celebrated it and so why should I start now.

I did have a laugh earlier - I was asked by a Scottish colleague whether I celebrated Halloween ,I replied No and asked her about guising -she had never heard of it Grin and was Confused and WTAF is that !

Ds just popped down the shop for a bar of chocolate and some Goldbears and we have a No Trick or Treat Fuck off sign on the door.

Hueycool · 31/10/2014 18:24

I'm sad for my son. He's just knocked at my door without his 'costume' because his friends made fun of him. He's such a sensitive little boy. He's gone back out but I can't help feeling sorry for him. Halloween Hmm

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/10/2014 18:25

I have a teenage sister to take DD for me, so I can sit back with the Amaretto.

duplodon · 31/10/2014 18:26

I think it depends where you live. Where we live, no one does it so it's fine not to do it. I have relatives in Ireland and on a small, standard cul de sac there will be 50-60 callers a night and there will have been a very substantial lead up to it in school in all school years, focusing on myth and mythology and old traditions etc.

If you live in an area like I live and/or you have a genuine reason you object to the season based on your religion or values, I would say yanbu and do what suits yourself.

If you lived where my cousin does and didn't want to do it just because you couldn't be bothered, I would say yabvvvu.

All context-dependent, really!

FixItUpChappie · 31/10/2014 18:26

Its always interesting to see the mixed views of Halloween in the Uk.

I'm Canadian and Halloween has always been a fun, relaxed, participatory sort of affair. Last year was glorious - beautiful weather, tonnes of kids and parents out chatting and having a good time.

I've taken the day off to tidy up the house and get the pumpkin seeds ready for roasting. Our pumpkins are ripe for carving for when my boys get home, our decorations festive and not the slightest bit gory, I've got hot chocolate on the stove and a little stack of kids Halloween films out ready for a post-treating cuddle on the couch.

Nothing that would be deserved of the vitriol the occasion gets on here....but perhaps the Uk hasn't mastered the art of Halloween quite yet Grin

Itscurtainsforyou · 31/10/2014 18:29

YANBU - I allow dressing up and carving pumpkin, but nothing else.

bigbluestars · 31/10/2014 18:31

Busy here- we have had around 30 kids so far, all under the age of 12, mostly with parent. Everyone has told a joke or sang a song, evry child has thanked me.

Just lovely.

Ilovenicesoap · 31/10/2014 18:38

I think the Canadian/American version of Halloween is very different to the plastic, tatty ghastly version we seem to have here.
It seems rather like our Bonfire Night- traditionally we carve pumpkins, light a Bonfire, eat sausages, baked potato with butter and toffee apples.
Lovely but no bloody trick or treating !

ChocolateWombat · 31/10/2014 18:44

We don't do it.
I appreciate that most people trick or treating are not involved with occultic activities and see it as a bit of fun, but it is a night when many people who ARE involved in this stuff will be doing their thing, and as a Christian, I think I should have nothing to do with it.
Our Church often have an alternative event for the children....a fun party, sometimes called a 'light' party.

We have been invited to Halloween parties over the years. I try to make clear we are not of the opinion that our friends are satan worshippers, but that as Christians we just don't want anything to do with it. People are generally fine with it, in the same way, I'm fine with them not wanting to come to our Carol Service at Christmas, if they say they don't want to go to religious events. A few people have been interested to hear more about Halloween and it's origins and stuff that goes on during that night (if not by children trick or treating) and have decided they don't want their children involved either.
I realise most people will think my view is extreme and Halloween is meaningless fun........perhaps have a read up on the stuff that is going on tonight around the world, and you might change your minds.

howtodrainyourflagon · 31/10/2014 18:45

We know all our neighbours in our isolated rural community. All the children from the community go around together and the adults know we're coming. We do the same at Christmas except we sing carols and give out the sweets. It's a lovely thing that brings the community together.

Bluetone · 31/10/2014 18:46

I really don't see it as begging.

What next? Writing a list for Santa is like righting a begging letter.

FourthMary · 31/10/2014 18:53

We don't go out trick or treating, but we have decorations up, carve a few pumpkins and have family round for tea and games. The young ones love answering the door in costume and giving out the sweets.

It's just a bit of fun, no one knocks round here unless you have decorations up.

GertrudePerkins · 31/10/2014 18:54

we go to three houses on the street where we know the occupants, and they've got the decorations out. my next door neighbours are a retired couple, but their house is decked out from top to bottom ready for trick or treaters. round here the rule is very much that only decorated houses are fair game.

I do find it a bit odd when people drive up, knock, get their sweets and drive off again. I wonder how much each Maoam cost them in petrol?

Bifflepants · 31/10/2014 18:55

One of my friends on facebook has a status saying a kid came to the door dressed in a normal tracksuit. Then he opened his mouth, it was full of fake blood, and shouted "ebola". Genius.

soverylucky · 31/10/2014 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Topseyt · 31/10/2014 18:58

I am not a fan of Halloween. I used to grin and bear it occasionally when the children were young, but only so that I wasn't seen as the only stick-in-the-mud mum amongst their circle of friends.

Thankfully they seem to have pretty much outgrown it now. They have shown very little interest this year, though have offered sweets to the odd couple of families they know who have knocked.

The doorbell going every couple of minutes used to irritate the hell out of me, and drive the dog nuts.

I guess I am just an old humbug, but that doesn't bother me.

Topseyt · 31/10/2014 19:00

The ebola joke is in poor taste. Something that has killed thousands of people is not a laughing matter.

Ilovenicesoap · 31/10/2014 19:01

Fun to me is getting to sit in my house on a Friday night ,in peace ,without getting up to answer the bloody door 57 times to give out sweets to children who I have never met before.
How is this a celebration ? of What ?
I just don't get it !

Rinoachicken · 31/10/2014 19:08

Me and DH didn't do it as kids and hoping the DS don't want to do it in future. DS1 is 5 and doesn't care about it yet thankfully.

We don't answer the door either, no decorations, no lights, but we STILL get people knocking who we don't know, and yes to me that is begging. It's uninvited, and unwelcome.

If they stuck to only the decorated houses, houses they knew, as seems to happen elsewhere, then I'd probably be less hard line about it.

MiaowTheCat · 31/10/2014 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyGhostIsFlummoxed · 31/10/2014 19:23

Taken from The History Channel;

'Evolving from the ancient Celtic holiday of Samhain, modern Halloween has become less about literal ghosts and ghouls and more about costumes and candy. The Celts used the day to mark the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter, and also believed that this transition between the seasons was a bridge to the world of the dead. Over the millennia the holiday transitioned from a somber pagan ritual to a day of merriment, costumes, parades and sweet treats for children and adults'.

Still not sure why some Christians regard it with such repugnance.

TheRealMaryMillington · 31/10/2014 19:26

Never used to get Halloween it but all of a sudden in the last few years when I've started hating the cold and dark I think we all need an autumn celebration to get us through till Christmas. So Halloween will have to do.

Lots of families down our road so its lovely, we all get to see each other. Particularly enjoying this evening, DH has taken the DCs and their friends from school out and I'm finding that fun size curly wurlys set off this rioja a treat.