To be a bit dismayed if 4 million women visit this site,why are there so few posts on the feminism threads?

[Scarletohello]

Ok so I know there are lots of lurkers but if there are really millions of women who go on MN, why are so many threads on the feminism section consisting of so few women? It doesn't make sense to me as so many issues that
women post about on many different topics are actually feminist issues when it comes down to it...

Woman changing their name came up on aibu a few weeks ago and to be honest, I was so pissed off with the jibs and jokes at the expense of women who chose to change their name, so disgusting and anti feminist I hid the thread. It was a disgrace.

But it doesn't occur in a cultural vacuum. It occurs within the context of a culture in which women are subjected to repeated messages that their bodies should be maintained in a hairless state.
I don't have any problem with what any individual wants to do with their body hair but I think it should be equally acceptable whatever way you wear it, and it isnt.
I suspect you're being facetious though and you understood what I was saying in the first place.

That's cultural though - not anti-feminist.

I think the same topic discussed on AIBU / Chat or FWR would get very different views and responses. It's easy to form certain views if you don't discuss issues with people who disagree with you -and I don't think there is much room for disagreement on FWR. Dissenting voices can be overwhelmed and it is very very hard to post on threads where you are only a minority voice and people are being very vocal in their responses.

So posters with different views are forced away and it becomes a self fulfilling forum of similar views.

sandor yes I was joking. But the simple facts remain, Imo, that a persons choices (especially about their body) are their own choices. If they feel they have to something its totally different.

It does not help women at all to say you are able to choose, but one choice is incorrect.

One of the reasons I don't engage is because I worry for men. I don't like to see men and boys belittled.

Neither do I like to see women who make good choices for themselves and their families and they believe society in general being told that those choices are bad choices - because they don't understand the context.

And now here I am engaging!

And I have to say I never once considered shaving just for a smear test or apologising for not doing so.

So posters with different views are forced away and it becomes a self fulfilling forum of similar views

That is how it feels to me too OrlandoWoolf.

So... this is a thread about the feminist boards isn't it? Not about AIBU?

Both Orlando and Shewept make good points

I am not flouncing or disappearing to shave myself. Dh and ds are cooking and its ready. I am very interested in this and will catch up later.

I don't have much judgment on other womens choices, I am interested in the context within which they make those choices though and how it might affect the choices they make. That isn't the same as saying their choices are wrong. It's just thinking about stuff and how and why it happens.

Altinkum - I have just had major row with both teen DCs so thought I'd come on to MN and find someone else to have a row with - one I might be able to win!

Think I'll get some wine too

I think feminism is really important. I really do. My DS is becoming much more aware of it and I have learnt a lot from MN and the FWR boards. It has made me think - and discussions on there have been interesting.

But...I think it can be offputting if you have different views on issues. People have very very strong viewpoints and are passionate about them. Such passion can be offputting for some.

I also think it is important.

I am mid fifties and had some real battles to fight when I was younger. I had to fight to be able to wear trousers at work. (!) I had to complain to management that when I walked the length of the factory floor I was whistled at. I had to fend off some pretty bad "groping" and I had to fight so so hard to get the jobs that the men got more easily.

I don't like being told I am not a proper feminist because I shave my pubic hair. (Actually I don't -I seem to be going bald down there . - Anti -feminist by accident!!!)

"I don't have much judgment on other womens choices, I am interested in the context within which they make those choices though and how it might affect the choices they make. That isn't the same as saying their choices are wrong. It's just thinking about stuff and how and why it happens."

This is my viewpoint too Sandor.

I don't care if you shave. Not a jot. But I do care that society expects women to shave and that in some cases young women in particular are made to feel ashamed if they don't remove their entire pubic hair.

Equally I don't care that women change their name on marriage. But I do care that women changing their name has meant that women's history has become entirely subsumed into men's stories. I care that women disappear in records when they marry as they don't have a separate identity. I care that in the past when women married they became a legal non-entity and were entirely under the control of their husbands and a change of name was a reflection of that. I care that nowadays women feel pushed into changing their name even if they don't want to and men who claim it's "not a big deal" to change name won't do the same thing themselves because actually for a lot of people it is a big deal. I care that professionally women can be fucked over by a name change as it means their professional identity is disrupted and that men don't have to deal with that problem.

I don't care if a woman chooses to wear make up. But I do care that many women feel they can't leave the house without make up and that there are inches and inches of column space devoted in the media to shaming women who don't wear make up. I care that so many women feel that they can't just get up in the morning and go out and show their actual face to the world, that they feel they have to cover up and change it and feel so lacking in confidence because the message the world gives is that women must meet a certain standard of beauty or they are worthless.

I care that 85,000 women are raped every year and very few rapists are convicted. I care that two women a week are killed by men. I care that 276 girls in Nigeria are at this moment being raped and terrorised by men who have kidnapped and "married" them and that nothing is being done about it.

85,000 per year in the UK?

Each individual issue - shaving, make up, catcalling - is relatively small on its own. But it all adds up and is all part of a bigger picture. That's why it's important.