Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting fireworks off in our garden.

292 replies

raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 12:38

Yesterday I was letting some, admittedly large, fireworks off in our garden at about 7pm. Fireworks were going vertically upwards and not into neighbours gardens.

Anyway all hell breaks loose. Guy comes out of his house screaming at my DH that he is a "fucking nobhead" and starts banging on our gate which was padlocked.

I went back into the house and locked the front door. Went upstairs to son's bedroom. Window was open as I had been painting sons walls earlier. and curtains had been removed due to the DIY.

Next thing he is shouting at me "oi you, fucking nobhead at the window". By this time the neighbours 2 doors down, who cannot stand me, had come out and were joining in on the trouble.

I replied "go away or I will phone the police" as there was now a small crowd at the front gate. I then shut the window and turned the light off in the room.

Next thing the guy jumped the fence and came in garden banging on front door. I did not answer the door.

They hung around at the front gate for about 15 minutes then got bored and dispersed.

I can appreciate that they may not like fireworks as they may have pets that could have been scared. However another neighbour set some fireworks off (far more than I did) and no-one complained.

Not sure what to do now.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/10/2014 22:29

You must have a very big garden then to keep the massive ones being discussed a safe distance from ANY building (not just your own home like most people attempt)

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 22:32

To be honest soph I wish it had been a live grenade. I was joking with DH today it is a shame we do not know any arms dealers as I would take great pleasure in firing a scud missile at his house.

OP posts:
ChelsyHandy · 30/10/2014 22:33

Jumping my fence and shouting abuse at my disabled husband is totally out of order. I am not trying to justify letting the firework off, however his behaviour was totally unacceptable.

Perhaps they were concerned that there was a risk of fire, or that the large repeating firework was more like an explosion?

I'm sure there was some logical reason for your neighbour's extreme behaviour, and the fireworks I see as the clue.

Your whole reactions to this seem to show a surprising lack of empathy and basic um sorry social skills as to how to react to other people. Is it possible you might have missed something major that's really upset your neighbours?

chockbic · 30/10/2014 22:35

Us miserable types have encountered problems with anti socials Shock

soph123kay · 30/10/2014 22:35

i don't have a big garden and i don't buy the big fireworks. but she has said she has a reasonable sized garden and it wasn't a absolutely humongous firework.

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 22:37

Erm no, they saw it was a firework and he jumped my fence because he is a thug. When he jumped the fence we had already gone inside and firework had gone out. If he had a genuine fire concern he would have phoned the fire brigade. He was trying to intimidate, but failed abysmally.
I do not see how I lack social skills, think that is an odd comment. However I do lack empathy so you are right on that one.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/10/2014 22:39

A 50 shot firework is a large firework. Too large to safely be let off in your average back garden.

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 22:39

soph I told my BIL about it and he buys 1000 shot repeaters, dunno where he gets them from as I have never seen any on sale in supermarkets.

OP posts:
soph123kay · 30/10/2014 22:40

who hasn't had problems with anti socials before but i refuse to hide in my house and not let my daughter experience bonfire night because of them and i dont see why setting off fireworks is anti sociable really not if its at a reasonable time. i love fireworks i love bonfire night when everything is foggy and smells of fire raltheraffe im sure if you get in with some off your neighbors im sure they will be able to hook you up with something they sound terrible lol i thought my neighbors were bad

soph123kay · 30/10/2014 22:42

ive never saw ones that big either! lol bet your neighbors would adore your BIL lol

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 22:44

I think he does it to deliberately piss them off. He has had a few issues with them of late.

OP posts:
soph123kay · 30/10/2014 22:46

does he get his ruler out and measure his garden beforehand tho to make sure its safe Grin

Silverdaisy · 30/10/2014 22:56

Is your front gate that high, that it a padlock is of use? From your description I magine a 6 foot fence and gate. Sorry if this is common amongst other housing estates, but unusual to me.

Hamiltoes · 30/10/2014 23:00

Calling someone a "fucking knobhead" is unreasonable to be honest, i would have chosen "arsehole" to be sum it up. I had to go back and read the original post and if I was this neighbour i would have been mad. Really mad.

You already had a run in with one set and clearly said the girl had a baby in a pram. To the poster who asked if you were young- i'm 22 and would never consider setting fireworks off at 7pm KNOWING my neighbour had a baby??

Regarding climbing the fence, you said he climbed the fence to the front door, so presumably he could have walked the street way to your front door and wasnt roaming around your enclosed back garden, unreasonable behaviour yes and perhaps not the most tactful thing to do but not jawdropping?

I think its entirely possible that already being angry about the large fireworks going off totally unannounced, on a weeknight, at 7pm most kids bedtime, he was then even more angry at the fact you went inside and stood at the top window whilst threatening to phone the police without him even being able to voice his concerns or let you know- as everyone else on this forum has- that you were being unreasonable! As for the crowd gathering, you said there was only 2 neighbours angry?

It seems to me you have a clear problem understanding how other people view situations. Yes your blind husband couldn't do much about the dog escaping, but the neighbour may have just seen a dog running around not on a leash and been rightly annoyed by this. If my dog had got out and run towards a mother and pram the first thing i would be saying is that i'm really sorry, not some "well my husbands blind so not my fault, whatever". Maybe she or the child is scared of dogs. Maybe she or the child is scared of fireworks.

You are making sweeping statements about rough areas but have you ever thought that maybe in a rough area people are even more likely to be sympathetic to antisocial behaviour since they are probably more used to it? Let me try to be as stereotypical as you are- move to your nice area full of middle class families, sweet old ladies, and be just as if not more prepared to be complained at when you let your dog out off the lead (accident or no) and set off large fireworks without warning whenever you want!

Leela5 · 30/10/2014 23:02

Neighbour was BU for his reaction but I think YABVU to let off fireworks a week before 5th November.

A bit of consideration for other people goes a long way. Many of us have animals or children who are frightened of fireworks. We expect fireworks on 5th so take measures to block sound/flashes. But letting them off a week early could cause serious issues for pets. It's very very selfish.

A note through your neighbours door would at least have been a sign of courtesy to let them know.

LollipopViolet · 30/10/2014 23:07

I'm absolutely petrified of fireworks - in fact I am sensitive to any sudden loud noises. So you can imagine this time of year is not fun for me.

OP, I think if you're going to have them outside of times when people expect them, it's just courteous to let your neighbours know. Our poor dog had to be sedated for Bonfire Night and NYE, so it'd give any pet owners some warning. Our neighbours on one side always used to warn us, and we appreciated it.

Your neighbour was BU in his over-reaction, but you were being a a little bit unreasonable in not giving them some warning.

Leela5 · 30/10/2014 23:15

soph fireworks on nonfire night are fine. But this wasn't bonfire night. I think that's what people are saying is unreasonable

Leela5 · 30/10/2014 23:15

*bonfire

PoundingTheStreets · 30/10/2014 23:17

There is a special brand of wrath that tends to get released with fireworks. I am a very mild-mannered type but I remember turning into an absolute banshee when someone let off fireworks in the area I lived in at the terribly unreasonable Wink time of 8.30pm (2 hours after I had finally got DC and myself to sleep after two days straight of no sleep at all).

Perhaps your angry man had a young child? Or had just finished a night shift? Or owes money to a Colombian drug cartel and thought they'd turned up with shotguns?

An apology can often go a long way to smooth ruffled feathers. That said, if you think your neighbours are as likely to punch you in the face as they are to accept it, it may be better to let sleeping dogs lie and chalk it up to experience.

sheldonesqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam · 30/10/2014 23:30

To be honest soph I wish it had been a live grenade. I was joking with DH today it is a shame we do not know any arms dealers as I would take great pleasure in firing a scud missile at his house.

You wish it had been a live grenade? Really?

Shameful.

Take a trip to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital.

I do not see how I lack social skills

I do.

ChelsyHandy · 30/10/2014 23:33

I do not see how I lack social skills, think that is an odd comment. However I do lack empathy so you are right on that one.

Strange thing to say. I would have said that empathy was quite a major part of having social skills. Consideration for others and being able to predict how they will react.

badgerknowsbest · 31/10/2014 00:13

Letting off a big firework randomly a week before bonfire night just because you like them? Fuck sake how pathetic is that reminds me of the pricks who sit on public transport blaring out their shit music - just because you enjoy something doesn't give you the right to inflict it on others.

I was hit in the leg by a firework when I was a teenager, it wasn't pleasant but as long as some twat enjoyed the bang and the pretty lights I guess that's all that matters Wink

insancerre · 31/10/2014 06:42

When I was a baby someone threw a firework that landed in my pram
I wasn't in it at the time but I so easily could have been
The pram was destroyed
That's why I don't like fireworks

Original poster
raltheraffe · 31/10/2014 10:48

The padlock is on there so ds (3) cannot open the gate and wander off. About 6 months ago he discovered how to undo the latch so now it is padlocked all the time other when he is at nursery.

OP posts:
Original poster
raltheraffe · 31/10/2014 10:54

I recently drew up an anonymous survey for all my customers in an attempt to improve customer service. There were lots of things that they had to grade from 1 star (rubbish) to 5 star (excellent). On issues that related to my performance eg reliability, professionalism, management skills I averaged 4 1/2 stars. I would say that is pretty good social skills.
.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread