Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not give the child a birthday card

38 replies

Grimserenasereaper · 29/10/2014 14:42

My dcs have been invited to a Halloween party. It says birthday on the invitation, but I'm told the child's birthday was in September. AIBU to not want to give a 6 year old a birthday card 6 weeks or so late?

OP posts:
eosmum · 29/10/2014 14:46

Ds birthday is July, last year due to various reasons he had his birthday party at Halloween. No his fault, he'd have been disappointed to have no cards for the window sill after his party. So I think yabu.

littlemslazybones · 29/10/2014 14:47

Just get a card or get your kid to make one.

LadyLuck10 · 29/10/2014 14:47

Yabu. What's the reason for not wanting to give the card?
A card is so cheap, can even be made. Would be very mean not to.

sosotiredagain123 · 29/10/2014 14:48

Give a card

WooWooOwl · 29/10/2014 14:48

If it's a birthday invitation, then I'd give a card and a present the same as normal.

It doesn't really make much difference whether it's a Halloween themed party or a pirate and princesses themed party or a power rangers themed party. Guests at birthday parties give something to the host.

It is a bit odd to have the party so far away from the actual day, but we have had to leave a couple, of weeks in between birthday and party because my dcs birthday is in the middle of the school summer holidays. I'd think people were rude not to bring something for ds just because of that.

Chippednailvarnish · 29/10/2014 14:50

Ds's party wasn't held until the Monty after his birthday as we were away. Stop being so mean.

Chippednailvarnish · 29/10/2014 14:51

Monty = Month

Original poster
Grimserenasereaper · 29/10/2014 14:51

It seems odd to me to give a birthday card when it isn't the child's birthday.

OP posts:
littlemslazybones · 29/10/2014 14:53

Well write 'Have a spooky birthday' and move on with your life.

WiseKneeHair · 29/10/2014 14:53

YABU, birthday parties are rarely on the actual birth date. My DS is having his party 10 days after his birthday this year, but he would be disapointed not to get cards from his invitees and presents. If it's a birthday party, then I don't see why you wouldn't give a card, regardless of the actual birthday date.

littlemslazybones · 29/10/2014 14:56

Or write 'Really, two birthdays? Come on, who are you? The Queen?' That'll show them.

BlueberryWafer · 29/10/2014 15:18

It's not his fault his mum is hosting his party 6 weeks late - not giving him a card is punishing him for something out of his control! Besides there may be a reason why his party wasn't closer to his birthday.

summersoft · 29/10/2014 15:23

Will it be so difficult to get a card? A party to celebrate his birthday so long after the even may not be your cup of tea. Could you not just put these feelings aside because someone else sees things differently?

Evabeaversprotege · 29/10/2014 15:23

My nephew didn't get to have his party as my sisters chemotherapy appointment fell on the day it was planned for.

He had it two weeks later.

farewellfigure · 29/10/2014 15:29

You could find a Halloween card and say 'Have a great party' if you'd feel happier with that. Paperchase do them (hideously expensive mind).

Original poster
Grimserenasereaper · 29/10/2014 15:46

I do already have a card (and a present). I was actually thinking that it might confuse the child more than anything.

OP posts:
waithorse · 29/10/2014 15:50

Yes, give gift and card. It's still a birthday party, even if it's late.

FavaBeanPyramidScheme · 29/10/2014 16:11

YABU. There are worse things to be confused about!

WorraLiberty · 29/10/2014 16:14

Why would a 6yr old get confused, if you brought a birthday card and present to their birthday/halloween party?

livelablove · 29/10/2014 16:17

My dd made a card for a friend who has an Xmas birthday and has a party in summer. Being rather literal she wrote Happy Birthday Party on it.

elfofftheshelf · 29/10/2014 16:17

Its a child's party. Get him/her a card! It doesn't have to say birthday!!

AdoraBell · 29/10/2014 16:23

I know a child who always has her birthday party 5 months early because of the climate here. She isn't confused about it. She knows that on X date she has a party to celebrate her birthday but on her birthday she has a special meal with the GPs and extended family.

I think YABU and it sounds mean to refuse to give a card and gift to a child. That may not have been your intention but it still seems mean.

Original poster
Grimserenasereaper · 29/10/2014 16:32

Worra because it isn't their birthday?

OP posts:
hiddenhome · 29/10/2014 16:32

Ffs, it's just a card. Perhaps somebody died or was diagnosed with a terrible illness and the family weren't up to celebrating at the time Hmm

Does it really matter?

Itsfab · 29/10/2014 16:35

Presumably they know it is their birthday party though?

Hmm as I think there is more to this and I suspect you are annoyed about something.