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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband & Brother-in-law acting like kids

86 replies

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 21:51

Hey guys, a little bit of background - my DH & I have been married for just over 7 years and we have two children. Generally my DH & I get along great, but lately we've been a little off.

My DH's brother is 2 years younger than him and they've always been pretty close but never saw each other much because his brother lived and worked in Michigan. That was until January this year when he moved back to California because my MIL became ill (she's fine now) and he ended up staying and working here.

So anyway, DH & BIL act really dumb together, like kids and BIL is always over at our house. Just the other week (last Wednesday), I got home from work at around 1pm and started cleaning up in the kitchen. DH had the day off so he was down in the basement fixing shelving that came down. So BIL comes over and asks where DH is and I say, so he goes down to the basement. Anyway, a lot of time passed and the kids came home from school and I spoke to them then sent them upstairs to do their homework while I started dinner. So I started thinking, where the hell is DH and BIL? So I went down to the basement and they were naked and they were grappling and wrestling and laughing. I just kind of stared at them and they didn't even see me, so I was just like, "Dinner will be ready soon and you need to come upstairs.". I mean, I thought it was pretty sketch, but I didn't want dinner to burn and I was going out later with my girlfriends, so I just went back upstairs.

So I finished up with dinner and called the kids down and gave them their food at the table and then DH & BIL came up from the basement and into the kitchen. They were dressed again, but DH had a bruised looking eye and BIL had a kind of swollen bottom lip and a missing tooth and was holding a tissue to his nose. He left and DH sat at the table and started talking like nothing was wrong. So I waited till the kids were finished eating and had went to go play upstairs then said to DH that I was getting kind of sick of how childish he and BIL were acting and that I would prefer he not come over so often. So DH started sulking and gave me silent treatment. I didn't really have time for it though, because I was going out, so I just went and got ready and left. When I came home the next day, he still wasn't talking to me, and eventually he said I was being unreasonable to expect him to not have BIL over at our house.

I don't think it is unreasonable after the way they've been goofing around. I guess I just wanted to hear other people's opinions about it all.

OP posts:
WitchWay · 28/10/2014 21:55

YANBU they sound ridiculous Shock

LadyLuck10 · 28/10/2014 21:58

Was he totally naked? And was this a once off or do they always do this?

usualsuspect333 · 28/10/2014 22:03

Is your DH Oliver Reed?

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 28/10/2014 22:04

What does pretty sketch mean?

Anyway op they sound ridiculous,

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 28/10/2014 22:06

Oh usual yes Oliver Reed and who was the other bloke?

usualsuspect333 · 28/10/2014 22:07

Was it Alan Bates?

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 22:08

Yeah, they were totally naked.

I'm not sure if they've wrestled around naked like that before, but they really do act like kids. One time I recall that was most like this time (except they were fully clothed) was at my FIL's 60th birthday and it started that DH got his brother in a headlock and then escalated til they were out in the yard rolling around fighting, but they didn't actually hurt each other. DH has always been kind of frat-boy-ish in his humor, but it gets out of control when BIL is around. Another time they both used my kids water pistols on our neighbors over the hedge. It was really embarrassing and I had them at my door complaining.

Basically, yeah, when they're together they do stuff like this all the time.

OP posts:
exmrs · 28/10/2014 22:09

Ok the wrestling bit I can understand, but naked goes beyond weird , and why the hell didn't they stop when someone first got hurt like normal people ?

pregnantpause · 28/10/2014 22:10

Naked? As in naked, nude, absolutely no clothes? Because that's not childish. That's worrying. If in pants because suits would be restrictive for wrestling it's okayish-childish and odd but not worrying odd.

Also bruising of face, teeth knocked out, nose bleeds- not childish- worrying. You can't go to work/ socialise with facial bruising/ damage without people asking if you've been hurt / mugged. How would you possibly explain that? ( unless the first rule of brotherhood is not to talk about brotherhood?)

I'm childish when with my sister- we giggle and watch those things we enjoyed in childhood, we tell bawdy un cultured jokes, and poke fun at each other- in other words we revert a bit to our childhood. Jesus- we might even be childish enough to play slapsies/ thumb wars- but seriously- naked and bruised? Really really weird.

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 22:12

No, Thebodynowchillingsothere, sketch or sketchy is like suspicious or kind of weird.

And, yeah I've had the Women In Love/Oliver Reed jokes from plenty of friends already. I'm beginning to wonder if I did something in a past life or something.

OP posts:
bigbluestars · 28/10/2014 22:12

Very Odd.

My OH would be at a hotel unless he could explain himself. Violent/incestuous/homoerotic behaviour is not something I admire in a man.

Strangely.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/10/2014 22:12

Naked wrestling?

Well..... that's a bit odd , don't you think.

exmrs · 28/10/2014 22:14

Didn't you ask your husband why they were naked ?

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 22:17

No, like I said, I had stuff to do and I really didn't have time to get into it. I seriously doubt it's sexual, my husband is definitely not into guys and it was his brother. Besides, there was no sign of them being aroused or anything, if you get my drift.

OP posts:
SomeSortOfDeliciousBiscuit · 28/10/2014 22:19

I would bet money that they decided to host their own fight club and took their clothes off so they wouldn't get messy. Or something similarly inane.

But, yes, that's crazy behaviour from two adults, who presumably hadn't been drinking.

bigbluestars · 28/10/2014 22:20

Why naked then? Is it an American thing to fight naked with siblings?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/10/2014 22:22

It's odd, if my dh and bil < falls over in shock> even wrestled I'd think they were idiots, naked wrestling adds a whole new concern, start asking questions as it's weird.

.

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 22:22

The Fight Club thing actually does sound like something idiotic they might do.

Okay, well thank you guys for your comments, I thought it was pretty weird, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't over-reacting.

OP posts:
Hairtodaygonetomorrow · 28/10/2014 22:23

I don't know what my opinion is as brothers wrestling naked and losing a tooth is so beyond anything I can imagine my husband doing, I have nothing to relate it to. You seem very calm, OP, does this honestly seem normal to you?

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 22:25

No, it's not an American thing (that I'm aware of anyway), I just really don't think it was sexual. I know that my husband is definitely not gay and my BIL was well known for his womanizing (still is a little).

OP posts:
bigbluestars · 28/10/2014 22:26

It is beyond bizarre.

Grounds for separation in my book.

OliviaBlue · 28/10/2014 22:26

No, it's not normal it's just that my husband is kind of extrovert anyway and it's just not incredibly shocking. It was weird, but not like crazy freak out weird.

OP posts:
bigbluestars · 28/10/2014 22:29

Well it's crazy freak out weird in my book.
I know plenty of extroverts but none I could imagine that would wrestle naked with their brother and knock teeth out.

You seem to suggest it is within the norms of reasonable behaviour OP.

theposterformallyknownas · 28/10/2014 22:30

It does sound a bit weird and very childish too. I don't understand why they would want to fight and hurt each other as they did, let alone the nakedness.
Are you sure you trust him and bil when you go out for the night, I'd be worried they wouldn't get the kids sorted out properly or are the dc older?

NeedABumChangeNotANameChange · 28/10/2014 22:31

I think the naked thing is to avoid wedgies?

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