DP says I am and was a bit shocked...
Child is 8 and generally seems to be given free rein by family.
Keeps turning up uninvited/unannounced at our door to play with DD. When I ask what time she has to be home she says various things - like in 30 mins but then when the time is up says it doesn't really matter etc. In summer she once said 9pm!
She often turns up at dinner time (5.30ish) and I have fed her a couple of times -but don't want it to turn into a regular thing. I have started trying to send her home at dinner time if she turns up earlier. She has said her dinner time is 9pm but then once when I said she should go home for her dinner she said she was ok, had already eaten and played in DD's room whilst we ate dinner (I felt really mean and uncomfortable). I should say she is not underfed - if anything she is more 'well padded' than skinny.
I think in reality she hasn't been given a time she has to be home for. She lives 5-10 min walk away - and the most direct route is along quite a lonely, unlit, secluded path -which I know she uses. So I have started sending her home as it starts to get dark. Today she came earlier about 3.45pm. At about 5pm - I noticed it was getting dark (clocks going back!) - so I told her that I thought she should be going. She asked me what time it was and (surprise surprise) she said she had to be home at 5.30pm (30 mins later...). I said her gran probably hadn't realised how dark it would be- but she insisted it was fine. When she left it was really dark...
DP told me I should have walked her home - how would I feel if that was DD? (ignoring the fact that no way would I let slightly younger DD wander around like this). And how guilty would I feel if anything happened to her.
I do feel sorry for her - I do get the feeling her family don't want her around. (I haven't reported but know someone has voiced concern to the authorities - she was trick or treating on her own last Halloween - 7.30 at night, dark, going into stranger's houses - although this is quite a tight knit, 'safe' community)
I see his point but I think if I start taking her home her family will expect it and if she isn't with us (she drops in on others as well) they will be less likely to worry about her still being out.
And selfishly I will have no excuse to send her home. (I could be the adult and just tell her to go - but don't want her to feel more unwanted than she probably already does)
So WIBU?
(This is playing on my conscience now ...)