Aibu

[mrsblade]

Aibu to expect people to control their dogs in country parks? We went out today with our two dc to do a grufelo trail, we went on the trail that was designed for family's stating it was pushchair friendly. Ds1 had a stick in his hand and a dog bounded over at him trying to pull the stick out of his hand! Needless to say he was terrified and never wants to go back to said park again! The owner just gave a half hearted sorry as she walked off! There was numerous dogs running all over the place inc in the play areas and when the owners called them just carried on. Aibu to think that if you can't control your dog you shouldn't let it off the lead?

Suppose it has been a while since the last dog thread.

YANBU but the problem with dogs is that the fuckers are sentient beings and sometimes even the most well trained dog unexpectedly won't come immediately when called.

A dog wanted to play stick! Noooo! Sorry, humans share the earth with other creatures who actually cross our paths sometimes. The dog was quite clearly just playing and not going to hurt your child at all. Did you tell the child that, or teach him to be terrified of dogs behaving normally? Okay, harsh, but I just get annoyed at parents who react to a household pooch looking crooked at a child as if it's a hungry leopard. Far better to teach kids appropriate behavior around dogs and, granted, dog owners to control their dogs, but I just find the paranoia irritating.

I'm terrified of dogs, and as an adult am completely freaked out by out-of-control dogs. So no yanbu. Hope your wee one is ok.

The dog should have been under control

But I don't get this bit in your OP... Needless to say he was terrified and never wants to go back to said park again!

Why 'needless to say', as though that was a standard reaction?

Also love the phrase "designed for families" ( not picking at the op here, just the common term). I think most people regard their dogs as, admittedly fairly smelly, members of their family. Pet dogs anyway. Not in anything like the sense a child is obviously, but still.

You and the dog were both being reasonable, the dog´s owner was perhaps slightly unreasonable as I think on the family trail the dog should´ve been on a lead.

I hope your son can understand that this dog was just being friendly, get over his fear and enjoy being out in parks in future.

I am very scared of dogs myself after a childhood incident and I tend not to visit places that I think of as where it is reasonable for dogs to be roaming around enjoying themselves such as parks, forests, etc. If I do go I go with someone close to me who understands my fears but even so I feel very anxious the whole time. Even though I´m not very outdoorsy often I do wish that I wasn´t so scared and could go on things like picnics or beach barbecues without worrying. So I do hope this slightly exuberant dog won´t have a lasting effect on your little boy.

Sorry about what happened to make you feel that way Happy36. It isn't really right that people feel intimidated about going places where there might be dogs. People do come first. I think though that so much depends on how kids and dogs are socialized together. It's so important, because the chances that any child is going to get out of childhood without encountering dogs is really close to zero, surely? Teaching kids confidence around dogs as well as safety is vital I think. If a child can confidently tell a dog to go away, and understand that not all dogs are just waiting to savage them, it helps.

Where can dog owners exercise their dogs off the lead if not in these type of parks? They could stay away from the children's play area, but it's a country park.

Sorry your little boy was upset, it must have been frightening for him when a dog suddenly grabbed his stick. I would not like that, but I do think people should be able to let their dogs off the lead in these places.

What really bugs me is people who complain about unleashed dogs in a clearly signed off lead dog walking area. There aren't many off lead parks around where I am and most of them are smaller than a normal garden, and half spend all winter flooded.

Thank you for your responses. My problem wasn't that the dogs were off the lead it was that the owners were not controlling some of them. My ds is only 4 and this dog was bigger than him and very nearly knocked him off his feet and the owner made little effort to get her dog back while my son was screaming and crying next to me, the dog only left him alone as I told him to drop the stick. I understand that these country parks are ideal places to walk dogs off the lead but my point was that there was 5 trails and only one marked suitable for pushchairs so on this particular trail I would of appreciated people paying a little bit more attention to where their dog was, we had some dogs next to us before we could even see the owners.

I can see your point but please remember dogs have their own thought processes too and even the best dog can ignore a recall.

I have a Cocker spaniel, he's lovely and fluffy and friendly, he comes when called, 99% of the time. However he can choose to actively ignore me, he will look at me when I col him but then just wander off, I know he's heared the command he's acknowledged me but still he decides to trot off. Dogs aren't perfect.

If dog owners can't be sure their dog will respond to instructions then yes they should be on leads if other people are around.

Some dog owners needs to realise that not everyone loves their dog. Not everyone wants to be jumped on by their dog just because it's "friendly"

DS was fine with dogs until someone allowed their friendly dog to jump up at him when he was 3. Now he is petrified of them and no amount of me trying to convince him otherwise will change that.

Parents shouldn't let children approach unknown dogs without the dog owner agreed. Dog owners shouldn't let dogs approach unknown people without that person agreeing.

YABU not to help challenge his fear. Why needless to say?

I am scared of dogs and no adults taught me anything about them when I was a kid so the fear thrived. I do not wish DCs to feel the same. It sounds like your anxiety may have helped determine where the situation went.

In this situation I would have talked to him about how the dog wanted to play, and explained what you do if you don't want to play. Animated gestures will excited a dog further so I say to fold your arns and say "I don't want to play with you, go away."

I think you should be more concerned about encouraging an irrational fear in your child, than about dogs and their owners.

I am on the fence here, I personally would not walk my dog off the lead when children are about, he is a much feared breed ( well half of him is anyway) and I don't particular enjoy every half wit flinching and moving away from him like he will kill them at any min, when he doesn't even look at people and their children or dogs ,he just wants to run.

However your fear was irrational, although your child should be able to hold a stick without it being nicked by a cheeky hound! So I don't know really!

Ok, but I would!

Dogs are a very simple creature, they let off so many signals with their body language, you can tell a mile off what they are doing, they are not like people, so I say its irrational.

As an adult you can tell. As a young child you can't.

As I said before DS fear of dogs came from being knocked over by a "friendly" dog who was allowed to bound towards him when he was 3. How is being scared of that irrational?

Like altinkum I have a DS with severe allergies, including allergy to dogs. I have to be really careful when I visit the park and these days I rarely take him to the park because we can't always make it into the fenced off play area without a dog bounding up to us and wanting to play (which has previously involved dogs jumping up onto us). Even when we have been in the fenced off area previously people have come in with dogs, despite the sign clearly stating no dogs allowed in that area.
When people take children to the park they generally like to take balls, bikes, scooters etc and dogs find these things exciting and want to play which means that it is almost impossible to use the park without interference from dogs. I understand that people need to exercise their dogs but I would like to be able to use the park with my children without the risk of a dog jumping up at DS. More councils need to create separate areas in parks for dogs and need to enforce the 'do dogs in play areas' rule.
Even when I go the park with my other Child (not the one with allergies) we can lay any ball games because dogs just constantly try to take all the balls and slobber all over them etc. everybody should be able to use the park without unwanted interference from other people or dogs.

Well I don't want in anyway to offend you but, how is being knocked over ONCE at the age of THREE something your child still knows about and still cares about?! I have a 4 year old must have fallen over aided by my dog 1000 times, he doesn't remember a specific incident.

I feel your child's fear has come from you, not the dog, time for some socialising, and if not and the child is going to have a fear of dogs for their whole life then you need to educate them on dogs body language and how to be around them ( something I think every child should do)

You asked if you were being unreasonable then argued that you were not... seeking justification or just a rant?

Where do you live? I would happily walk with my children and yours and my dog if you want someone who knows your situation to help ease your child's worry. It will be debilitating for them if its never resolved.

YANBU to be upset that your son was frightened by this dog.

YABU to expect dog walkers not to use trails that are pushchair suitable. Dog walkers may also have pushchairs, or have mobility difficulties that mean they cannot walk easily on rough ground. The fact that a trail is accessible by pushchairs doesn't mean it is restricted to pushchairs. And "family friendly" - well, lots of families have children and dogs - do you think only families without dogs should be allowed to use that trail? And that another trail should be marked "dogs only - no children allowed?"

It's actually pretty predictable you are going to meet several dogs in a place like this.

How do you feel about dogs? Your post made it sound as if you are quite fearful of them and that you may be communicating your fear to your son.

the fear has certainly not came from me, I have spent the last year working to try to help him overcome that fear. I find the way you try to minimise fears of young children quite bizzare.

As a dog owner you need to realise that fear or no fear not everyone loves your dog and stop trying to pass the blame for dogs who are out of control and causing problems for others

You are encouraging your child to be afraid of dogs by expecting him to be scared of them. He was holding a stick - dogs love sticks and dogs assume person holding a stick is about to throw it for him. If the dog was a vicious, nasty one he would have had that stick but he only tried to get it off your son. Please take some time to teach your son how to be around dogs, there are always going to be dogs around, how to approach them with caution but not fear.

Country parks are for everyone OP including people with their dogs. I think it's a shame a lot of children are frightened of dogs and a lot of the time it's due to a parent also being scared. I was out with my dogs yesterday on my own land and came across parents playing with their kids. They were building a little dam over a tiny stream and having great fun. One of my dogs bounded up (he runs through that stream every day) and I was screamed at to get my dog on a lead. Um, no, my land, my dog if your not happy get off my fucking land was my reply. They weren't impressed.