Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu

132 replies

mrsblade · 26/10/2014 20:53

Aibu to expect people to control their dogs in country parks? We went out today with our two dc to do a grufelo trail, we went on the trail that was designed for family's stating it was pushchair friendly. Ds1 had a stick in his hand and a dog bounded over at him trying to pull the stick out of his hand! Needless to say he was terrified and never wants to go back to said park again! The owner just gave a half hearted sorry as she walked off! There was numerous dogs running all over the place inc in the play areas and when the owners called them just carried on. Aibu to think that if you can't control your dog you shouldn't let it off the lead?

OP posts:
Altinkum · 27/10/2014 07:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 07:26

My ds actually likes dogs and often asks to stroke the neighbours dogs. I do not feel we have in any way caused him to have a fear of dogs, we spent the rest of the day reassuring him that the dog just wanted to play with his stick. I say needless to say because my son had a dog that he does not know running at him and trying to take the stick that he had spent ages choosing from his hand! I suppose we would of been at fault if my ds had hit the dog with his stick! I am not saying I do not want him to come into contact with animals what I am saying is that he should of had a say in the fact. I keep my children under control while out and all I am asking for is people to not allow their dogs to invade their space, a sniff or walking close to is fine but I think touching should be agreed.

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 27/10/2014 07:33

Okay, you were being quite reasonable until it came to dogs "invading the space" of a 4 year old.

A dog has no concept of personal space. Quite a lot of humans don't either.

I don't see why one incident of a dog tugging at a stick would set up a lifetime fear in a child that likes dogs. If anything, your overpaying of the whole incident by constantly going on and on about it is more likely to set up an anxiety response. Surely your son has had other children trying to take a toy he is playing with - it can't be the first time he's encountered this in 4 years? Sorry, but IMO you are now over-dramatizing the whole thing.

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 07:37

I wasn't saying that dogs shouldn't be on the trail suitable for pushchairs it was also the grufelo trail so my point was that on that particular trail you can expect a lot of children so it would be nice if the people waking their dogs on that particular trail to just bear that in mind and at least keep their dogs in eye sight if on the path

OP posts:
Altinkum · 27/10/2014 07:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motleymop · 27/10/2014 07:43

I find it incredibly annoying when there are loads of children spoiling my lovely dog walk.

Also, my mother's Italian Greyhoind is terrified of children, esp those waving sticks.

Sirzy · 27/10/2014 07:46

Scary altkin. DS is allergic to some dogs but they 'just' trigger his asthma. Must be a constant nightmare for you.

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 07:48

I didn't constantly bring it up to him, he kept asking me why I had told him to drop his stick! I'm not saying he now has a lifetime fear of dogs what I am saying is he no longer wants to go to this park. I had a dog growing up and my dad has had several since but even I would have a slight worry about a dog that I do not know bounding over to me. We have been approached by other dogs and have happily stroked the dog and spoken to the owners but in my opinion this dog was too much for my child and the owner made little effort to move her dog away from my son who was visible upset

OP posts:
MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 07:50

OP I have a large bouncy dog, had he approached your ds I would have whistled him back. His recall is good. Not a 100% but good. He's still young.

Had he tried to grab the stick I would have been annoyed with him and apologised to you.

People talk about dogs not being under control. This dog wasn't out of control. He was just being a dog.

People confuse tge two.

KatieKaye · 27/10/2014 07:54

Altinkum - your poor son. BFs daughter is very similar, but with horses (and many food allergies). Her DSis had to change completely before coming into the house after she had gone riding and then go for a shower asap. obviously your DS is much more likely to come into 2nd hand contact with dogs - it must be incredibly difficult for you all.

MrsBlades - why shouldn't families with dogs use that trail too? it's for general use after all and it wasn't stipulated that "dogs must be on lead". It might be a bit inconsiderate of the dog walkers certainly, but equally you could bear in mind that there are likely to be dogs in the country park.

FWIW I have a dog. He has no recall, so he is always on a lead because I'm not physically able to go haring after him.

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 07:55

Goodness altinkum your case is very extreme.

I'm surprised your DH was so blasé about petting dogs if he knew his ds was so allergic to them.

I'm sorry your ds has been so poorly though but keeping away from any dog out on a walk is impossible.

TagineKaput · 27/10/2014 07:55

YANBU, the owner should've had the dog under control / on a lead on that particular trail and in the play areas.

Gosh Altinkum, that is a very severe reaction. Must be terrifying for you.

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 07:56

Motlymop we were on a grufelo trail that was suitable for pushchairs so obviously our particular trail would not be a suitable walk for a dog or a dog owner that doesn't want to come into contact with children. And my ds wasn't waving his stick.

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 27/10/2014 08:01

*obviously our particular trail would not be a suitable walk for a dog or a dog owner that doesn't want to come into contact with children"

Obviously it wasn't suitable for people who didn't want to come into contact with dogs too. It is in a country park. Where you are reasonably likely to encounter people with dogs.

Sirzy · 27/10/2014 08:06

It should be simple. Dog owners control their dogs - stop them approaching other people without consent. If that means use a lead then fine, if a dog has good recall then great.

Parents control their children and stop them approaching dogs without the owners consent.

Then everyone can use shared spaces with no problems. The issue comes when one group decides to ignore the needs of the others and forgets that not everyone loves their child/dog

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 08:10

I never said we didn't want to come into contact with any dogs nor do I expect them to be on a lead, what I do expect is to be able to take my children for a walk without a dog being over familiar I.e jumping up or trying to remove objects my ds is holding. I understand the dog was playing my issue was that my ds was visibly upset and the owner didn't make enough effort to to move the dog away from my ds. I've already said that we do stroke the dogs that come over to us usually but this particular dog was too much

OP posts:
Altinkum · 27/10/2014 08:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jessicahyde85 · 27/10/2014 08:10

Sirzy, I don't expect anyone to like my dog, and that is why I explained that I put him on a lead, even though he has no interest in wandering over to people.....

I don't believe for a second it has not come from you, your attitude sucks!

I do dry to minimise the fear of well behaved dogs in young children, correct!!! It is never a good outcome if a child becomes hysterical near a dog, and as a parent I find it bizarre that you want to encourage hysteria in your child!!

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 08:11

Well said sirzy

OP posts:
Redhead11 · 27/10/2014 08:12

When walking our dog, i try and make sure that he doesn't jump on anyone, and as he loves people, I have to be constantly aware. However, the number of children who have clearly been taught to fear dogs, or who have parents who fear dogs is quite stunning. I can see that your child would have been upset that the dog wanted his stick - it was his. However, the dog was just being a dog. It does not appear to have been rushing over to make your child into a snack - it sounds as though it wanted to play.

such a severe allergy to dogs must make your life incredibly difficult Altinkum. I wish you all the best in dealing with this.

Sirzy · 27/10/2014 08:13

So uour calling me a liar? Well you couldn't be more wrong Jessica and know nothing of what I have done to try to help DS overcome his very rational, understandable fear.

KatieKaye · 27/10/2014 08:16

I never said we didn't want to come into contact with any dogs nor do I expect them to be on a lead

But you did say obviously our particular trail would not be a suitable walk for a dog or a dog owner that doesn't want to come into contact with children. Heavily suggesting the dog owner was being unreasonable for being there.

It wasn't the dog or dog owner that was bothered about coming into contact with children - it was you that didn't want this dog near your DS. Which is fair enough. Your choice. But it is not reasonable to expect that just because a trail is signed posted as "family friendly" and "suitable for pushchairs" that this means it excludes dogs.

Unless the area is marked as "dogs" then in a country park you are reasonably likely to encounter dogs. if you are that concerned then stick to paths that are marked as "dogs must be on lead".

monkeymamma · 27/10/2014 08:17

What frustrates me about these threads is the endless assumption that children 'need to know how to behave around dogs' and that it's irrational and wrong for them to be scared of dogs - why do we all ignore the fact that dogs DO attack and harm children, often with fatal and/or permanent results? Obviously all dog owners think that their particular dog would never do any such thing, but the fact remains some do, they are unpredictable animals, and I'm pretty sure the ones who do attack have owners who believe their dog would never do that... I am willing to accept the risk is minimal and that most family dogs are unlikely to harm anyone, but we are stone age humans still at heart and I think it's quite natural to want to avoid contact with animals that in the past have been dangerous.

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 08:17

This dog wasn't out of control.
He was being a dog.

Jessicahyde85 · 27/10/2014 08:18

Sirzy, where did I say you are a liar? ( More hysteria) I find it strange you have such a shitty attitude to me when I went out of my way to offer to help you!! Oh well you crack on love!

Swipe left for the next trending thread