Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu

132 replies

mrsblade · 26/10/2014 20:53

Aibu to expect people to control their dogs in country parks? We went out today with our two dc to do a grufelo trail, we went on the trail that was designed for family's stating it was pushchair friendly. Ds1 had a stick in his hand and a dog bounded over at him trying to pull the stick out of his hand! Needless to say he was terrified and never wants to go back to said park again! The owner just gave a half hearted sorry as she walked off! There was numerous dogs running all over the place inc in the play areas and when the owners called them just carried on. Aibu to think that if you can't control your dog you shouldn't let it off the lead?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/10/2014 08:19

don't believe for a second it has not come from you, your attitude sucks!

To me that is calling someone a liar!

Altinkum · 27/10/2014 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SunnaStrangeInTheNeighbourhood · 27/10/2014 08:22

If dogs are not on leads they should be muzzled then people wouldn't be afraid of them bounding up. Seem a fair compromise.

People are more important than dogs and a few dogs owners forget that.

Jessicahyde85 · 27/10/2014 08:22

Sirzy, the suggestion is that your attitude is rubbing off on your son, you become stressed at the sight of a dog and your child acts on your distress.... And your attitude to dogs... sucks!

Liar doesn't come into it!

hazeyjane · 27/10/2014 08:22

Jessica your attitude is quite shocking.

I had quite a marked fear of dogs as a child after being attacked by a relatives dog, it was bloody terrifying. As an adult I very gradually got over the fear whilst volunteering at an animal home, but it took a bloody long time.

I have a friend whose dd is terrified of dogs, she has ASD, her parents have done nothing to encourage her fear, but the terror she has of dogs is incredibly real.

Altkin, the photos of your boy bought tears to my eyes, my god daughter has had a similar reaction to dogs, and was hospitalised recently after a similar reaction.

Jims · 27/10/2014 08:23

A child being scared of dogs is not 'a lot of the time due to the parents being scared'. It is mostly due to uncontrolled dogs usually much larger than toddlers, being off the lead and running up and scaring them. My ds1 is petrified of dogs due to several incidents like that when he was small. He was just showing signs of getting over it and then we went on holiday and a small yappy thing off the lead tried to bite him as we walked past in St Ives. Ds1 hadn't even looked at it but the dog had a small cuddly toy that I guess it thought DS1 might try and take. So now he's back to being petrified again. I do feel that dogs should be kept on leads unless they are well behaved and come immediately when called - in known family areas. The amount of times i've heard dog owners say 'but he's/she's v friendly' - i'm sure that's true but my sobbing 4 year old doesn't want to know.

Obviously we're still working on it but it takes time.

longjane · 27/10/2014 08:23

Who would use the parks if dog walkers were banned?

Sirzy · 27/10/2014 08:24

I don't become stressed at the sight of dogs. Anything but I actually quite like them. What I don't like is dog owners who are irresponsible, or those who try to make out it is someone else's fault when a dog causes someone to have a fear of dogs.

Original poster
Mrsblade · 27/10/2014 08:24

Katiekay I wrote in response to motly saying

' I find it incredibly annoying when there are loads of children spoiling my lovely dog walk.

Also, my mother's Italian Greyhoind is terrified of children, esp those waving sticks.'

OP posts:
Missunreasonable · 27/10/2014 08:25

Why is it so irrational for people to fear dogs? People fear all kinds of things: spiders, enclosed spaces, clowns, balloons, flying.....
A fear or phobia isn't something that people can just eradicate because people tell them that they should get over it and that they are being ridiculous and passing their fears into their children. Some children are frightened of dogs when they parents are not and it isn't something that can be easily overcome. Even people who are not scared of dogs don't particularly want to be bothered by them and want to be able to play football or rounders in the park with their children without interference from dogs.

When I go to the park I don't allow my children to approach strangers or dogs, I don't allow my children to interfere with other people's games or activities and I don't see why I shouldn't expect the same in return from people with dogs. I don't want people to be telling me 'oh it's alright, he doesn't bite' when their dog is jumping on me and pawing at my thigh, I want them to move their dog and keep it under control. I certainly don't want them telling me it's okay when their dog is jumping at my DS who has allergies.

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 08:26

I know one particular woman who passed her fear of dogs to her dd. Blatantly so.

Lots of hysteria and screaming whenever she saw a dog anywhere near her. The mother that is. Embarrassing to watch especially as the dogs were just walking past with no intention of sniffing them.

The dd grew to be exactly the same.

hazeyjane · 27/10/2014 08:28

That is one woman, Middleton.

Jessicahyde85 · 27/10/2014 08:29

Stirzy, I simply don't believe you, sorry that is something you will have to deal with, like I said I offered to help your child by going for a walk with my family and it was not good enough so never mind, you cant help some people!

Sirzy · 27/10/2014 08:31

So you are still calling me a liar. We have tried the going for walks with people but those who are more understanding and less judgemental.

hazeyjane · 27/10/2014 08:32

Um, you know that bit about calling Sirzy a liar....

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 08:34

That I gave an example of hazey.

I've seen it numerous times over the years.

Women screaming and lifting their child up because a dog walked over to them.

They don't see what they're doing.

hazeyjane · 27/10/2014 08:38

Oh ok, sorry.

In the same way I have seen numerous people with dogs that should be on leads, or gathered around the school gates or acting irresponsibly with dogs around children.

KatieKaye · 27/10/2014 08:43

I see it all the time too, Middleton. People over-reacting in this fashion, children cowering away and judgemental looks from adults simply because I am walking past with my small dog who is always on a lead and under control.

I live in a street with a school in it. from some of the reactions I get you would almost think I'm not allowed to take my dog out at certain times of the day.

Altinkum · 27/10/2014 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 08:47

Dogs gathered round th e school gates?
Sorry I don't get the connection.

If a child is attacked by a dog then I can see how that child could become fearful.

The mum I gave an example of was never bitten or attacked but passed this hysteria to her child. It does happen.

The mums that I've seen in parks etc who've swooped their dc up because of a wandering dog after chatting with them it turns out they were never attacked either.

One woman I questioned about her hysteria said she is nervous around " those staffies " after pointing out the dog wasn't a staffie she said " they're all the same " Hmm

PenelopePitstops · 27/10/2014 08:50

Surely in the gruffalo walk Park dogs should be on a lead. I don't understand why dog owners think everyone else wants their vile creatures bounding around them. Put your dog on a lead when out.

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 08:52

But I must stand up for all the lovely non hysterical parents I meet out with my dogs.

The other day on a bridle path I was chatting to a friend, dogs off lead when a famiky on bikes rode past.

My big dog started to trot with them, I whistled him over and he came straight away. They said thank you and that he was lovely. Their ds was about 4 years old.

MiddletonPink · 27/10/2014 08:53

Put your dog on a lead when out.

Yep on streets but nit country parks.

Altinkum · 27/10/2014 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieKaye · 27/10/2014 09:04

Altinkum, in your case it seems entirely reasonable for your DS to be fearful of dogs because simply being near a dog or indeed a person who has been in contact with a dog could kill him. I suppose it is this latter risk which is actually the more dangerous because at least you can see a dog and keep DS away, but you've no guarantee the person you are standing next to in the queue doesn't have a dog at home.