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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go to party when daughter is In hospital

34 replies

Mummytosurvivor25 · 26/10/2014 08:41

Am I being unreasonable , daughter has been poorly since birth 10 months ago we have spent 7 out of 10 months in hospital the other 3 months I have cared for her at home.
Before this most recent admission I had planned my first few hours break since falling pregnant and it was to go to a Halloween party, then daughter had to to back in to hospital , a month later ! Were still here ...I stay with her every night n day ..she is stable and well at the moment but bei fed artificial food through a central line so that's why we can't go home.

Anyway we obviously know the nurses very well and they comvinced me to buy a costume and still go out saying if I don't get a break from the four walls I'm going to crack.Wibu for me to go ????

OP posts:
IMurderedStampyLongnose · 26/10/2014 08:43

YANBU,go and amhave fun.Msybe just don't drink alcohol so you will have your wits about you if needed.hope your daughter impoves soon.

elfycat · 26/10/2014 08:44

No YANBU.

Go. Have fun. Recharge your batteries.

Nurses are ultimate babysitters.

hmc · 26/10/2014 08:46

Definitely, definitely not unreasonable.

greenbananas · 26/10/2014 08:47

I think the nurses are right. Go and try to have a good time (obviously keeping your phone switched on)

This all around very stressful and worrying for you and I know if feel the same in your position.

When ds2 was admitted to hospital for a few days when he was four months old, I didn't leave his bedside for a second, and put my whole life on hold. But you have had ten months of this. You obviously trust the nurses. Perhaps it might do you good to see your friends.

fuctifino · 26/10/2014 08:51

I'm of the same thought as the others. Go out, have a lovely time and just be you for a few hours.
It must be incredibly hard being a mother of a poorly child, you need a break.

Enjoy yourself!

Blu · 26/10/2014 08:52

Go to the party , and then arrange regular short social breaks away from the hospital : a coffee with friend, walk in the park, meal out or quick cinema trip.

It is very gruelling being in hospital with a child (and I have never done more than 5 days) and you need to keep your self , well, yourself!

Enjoy your party, and good luck for the continued stability and strength of your baby.

KnackeredMuchly · 26/10/2014 08:52

You will always be a better parent if you put yourself first once in a while. You have to or you will go mad.

Please go and have fun Flowers

Lariflete · 26/10/2014 08:55

Definitely go - you have been (and are still going) through the mill and you need a little bit of fun.
Your daughter is in the best hands possible while you aren't there.
Flowers for you and DD

PiperIsOrange · 26/10/2014 08:55

Are you a single parent.

Regardless I would go, the reason I asked if you are a single parent is perhaps her dad could stay with her so you can relax at the party.

giraffescantboogie · 26/10/2014 08:55

YANBU

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/10/2014 08:57

Go and enjoy yourself.

I hope your dd turns a corner soon, take care.

Original poster
Mummytosurvivor25 · 26/10/2014 08:58

Piper I'm a single parent. I know the nurse who will be on ( I asked them all to find which one haha )
I don't drink so will literally be about 4 hours and back :)
Thanks ladies I. Going to order my costume :)

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 26/10/2014 08:59

Definitely go!
the nurses are encouraging you and will probably give DD lots of extra care that night. You don't need to make any plans about how long you will stay - just play it by ear. But know that DD will be safe in hospital. She'll probably sleep for a lot of the time you are at the party and if she wakes will see the nurses that she knows and be just fine.
Hope you have a wonderful time.

HamishBamish · 26/10/2014 09:01

I would go to the party. The nurses will know how important it is for parents in your situation to have a break and that's why they are encouraging you.

Go. It will be good for you and in turn good for your daughter too.

makeminered · 26/10/2014 09:03

You need a break for your own sanity. YANBU

TrendStopper · 26/10/2014 09:05

Go to the party. I say this as a parent with a child also currently in hospital. Although my child is a decade older than yours.

I found that a few hours out of the hospital helps my state of mind and in turn I can care for my child better.

Have fun and be yourself for a few hours Smile

Funkytown · 26/10/2014 09:25

Of course you should go ! Everyone deserves a break and it sounds like you most defenetly need one as you've never had one.

Rockclimbingtigger · 26/10/2014 09:31

Absolutely go.

My son was in a similar position having been born 3 and a half months early - we spent 10 months in hospital.

You need a break periodically or you will break down. Trust the nurses - I used to ring as I arrived!

Enjoy yourself - your daughter will get spoiled rotten by the nurses and have loads of cuddles :)

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 26/10/2014 09:36

Yes, you should go.

londonrach · 26/10/2014 09:43

Of course you go. Keep the phone on but go. Enjoy your break as its hard enough looking after a sick child. You need to look after yourself too as that will mean your dd will get a less worn out mum. The nurses will phone is any problems. Enjoy x

arethereanyleftatall · 26/10/2014 10:23

Definitely go! As someone upthread says, you've got the best babysitters possible!

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 26/10/2014 10:27

In your situation YAAbsolutelyNBU - even the nursing staff are telling you to go! Have fun! Hope your DD is able to come home with you soon.

Itsfab · 26/10/2014 10:35

If the nurses think she is stable enough to not need you then go but don't be a martyr. Your first few hours break since being pregnant? Maybe look at building up a support network if you literally do not get any time away from her. TBH if she isn't safer with nurses than nurses and you she is in the wrong place.

Daria01 · 26/10/2014 10:46

You should definitely go. My friends had a baby boy born 13 weeks premature, so he was in hospital for quite some time. They went out at the weekends quite a few times as they needed the time away. They're brilliant parents; every body needs a break once in a while. (And ten months is an awfully long time to go without one!)

I hope your DD recovers soon. Have fun at the party. Thanks

guitarosauras · 26/10/2014 10:48

The nurses are encouraging you to go. so go!
tO BE A GOOD PARENT WE HAVE TO REMEMBER TO LOOK AFTER OURSELVES!

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