I go to sleep watching game of thrones, wake up to dp fighting with dp and ex wanting to pick our kids up

[FoamingAtOnesMouth]

Literally that. Today is dp's birthday. I bought him cake, cards, wine ... Everything was fine.

I wake up all of a sudden to screaming, shouting and fighting. The only story I can get is ds split lemonade on the carpet and dp went crazy. I can't get a serious account of events off anyone. I wake up to dp being held back by ds1 trying to get at ds2 (13). I run upstairs, wrestle him back, he tells me we're finished and then ex calls saying he wants to pick up 'his' kids as ds2 has called him and "it's not on". I have no fucking clue what has happened. Nobody will tell me other than the kids saying dp kicked off over lemonade on the carpet. I've just had enough, feel like doing myself in.no idea what's happened. I go to sleep with everything fine, wake up everyone hating me

Are your kids safe?
Are you safe ?
Has he gone ?

Does it even matter what led to it?
a grown man had to be restrained because he was trying to attack a child.
you have to put your kids first.
I dont blame your ex. If my kids were being attacked by some bloke it would be a cold day in hell before they were in the same building as him again.
would you do any less, if the situation were reversed, than move heaven and earth to get your kids out of a volitile situation you ex had allowed them to be in?

Erm, agree with all of the above, kick him out, if he won't go, tell him you're calling the police for him assaulting your son.

No update then?

Of course she hasn't updated. She has been rumbled.

According to previous posts she periodically changes her name and posts about her abusive partner and how he doesn't like her children.

Hopefully her children's father takes the boys to live with him she is an irresponsible parent who clearly doesn't give two fucks about her children because if she did her partner would have been gone a long time ago.

Over and over. Along with complaints about her DP and his kids.

Just leave him FFS.

Boxy?

You've posted before about this twat and here you are again, still letting your lad take the brunt of this arse's temper.

How do you sleep at night?

Yup. Once you have children, they need to become your primary concern. You need to woman the fuck up, call the police, get DP out and start protecting your children.

If my mum had stood beside a man who attacked me, I would never forgive her.

and who the heck has time to post on netmums while all this is going on

Netmums?

I suspect the OP keeps postings as she wants to get the answer:

'oh how awful for you, all the lads fighting. Well they will use their fists, it'll be six of one an half a dozen of the other etc etc etc'

Except we won't. Normal people don't think it's ok for their partner to abuse their children. Ever.

Well, it's your loss, when you lose your children, either physically by them being taken to live somewhere safe (with your ex), or just because you destroy any bond between you, I'm sure you'll be shocked and horrified. Poor kids though.

Haha mumsnet i meant lol

I can't help wondering what would have happened if the DS1 hadn't been there to stop him 'getting at' DS2.

What would the DP have done?

What does he do if he's ever on his own with the lad?

I really hope OP and her children are okay.

Well as your ex is now involved let's hope he and your son report this to the police and take it out of your hands if you won't do so.

Perhaps social services will get involved and protect a 13 old child.

Your P is a thug attacking a child who is likely to still be much smaller and physically weaker than him.

The only reason I can see for such aggression from an adult is if your son was about to stab another.

Yes your 'D'P needs to leave you need to make it clear and follow through that you are capable of acting protectively and also call the police against your DP

If DP has told you that you are finished as a couple then good.

He's a grown man, and he tried to attack a 13 year old child and had to be held back by another child.

And now he's trying to blackmail you for 'siding' with your child over him by threatening to leave.

Good. Let him leave, order him to leave, call the police if he doesn't leave.

He's not at all the sort of person who should be in your kids lives or living in their home.

Better for all of you if he leaves and never comes back.

Is he really the sort of man you want your children to grow up with? Threatening and fighting with them over something as pathetic as spilled lemonade? By staying with him you are teaching them that you will allow people to treat them like this and that it's okay for them to treat other people the same way.

Glad their dad has hot them, at least there's one responsible parent!

I doubt the OP will be back on this thread but give it a couple of days and another thread will pop up

Wait, what!! OP has posted about this before? And more than once? Holy Mother of Pearl!

I'm out. OP just bear this in mind. You WILL lose your children. Not to SS, no, because thank God their father cares enough to put them first. Far worse, you will lose their respect and eventually their love. All you'll end up with is an abusive bastard and an home empty of love.

Gee, I sure hope he's worth it to you!

You mentioned before that he was controlling with his ex and his own children and resents the loss of power over them, and that when he was drunk, he expressed resentment about your children.
Why are you with him at all? Is it the money?

Your partner sounds like a menace. Your reaction of wanting to "do myself in" seems very extreme. It's not actually about you, you know. It's about your kids living with a man who attacks them at the slightest provocation. I hope they went to stay with their dad while you kick this shit out.
But I suspect not...

Just reread your first post, op.
All about how this affects you , not much about the effect on your dc.

Yes, Humansatnav the maternal instinct to protect her children and put them first appears to be somewhat lacking, unfortunately.