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AIBU?

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Original poster

I go to sleep watching game of thrones, wake up to dp fighting with dp and ex wanting to pick our kids up

102 replies

FoamingAtOnesMouth · 24/10/2014 23:38

Literally that. Today is dp's birthday. I bought him cake, cards, wine ... Everything was fine.

I wake up all of a sudden to screaming, shouting and fighting. The only story I can get is ds split lemonade on the carpet and dp went crazy. I can't get a serious account of events off anyone. I wake up to dp being held back by ds1 trying to get at ds2 (13). I run upstairs, wrestle him back, he tells me we're finished and then ex calls saying he wants to pick up 'his' kids as ds2 has called him and "it's not on". I have no fucking clue what has happened. Nobody will tell me other than the kids saying dp kicked off over lemonade on the carpet. I've just had enough, feel like doing myself in.no idea what's happened. I go to sleep with everything fine, wake up everyone hating me

OP posts:
PrettyPictures92 · 25/10/2014 00:36

Did your ex come pick up the kids? In the mean time - your partner attacked your son. A 13 year old boy and fully grown adult male can not fight, the adult can attack and child defend but a child cannot fight back properly the way another adult would.

Make sure your boys are ok. Get rid of the cunt who attacked your child or let him go to his father's.

PiperIsOrange · 25/10/2014 00:36

I'm going to be blunt. It's either your partner or your kids.

Your kids need to be safe at home, they don't feel safe so called their dad to come and get them.

If he will not go, then call the police.

OhReallyDear · 25/10/2014 00:39

He attacked your child, refuse to talk about it and you snuggle with him while watching a movie? What's wrong with you. Your chidlren had to be removed of the house. You have to sort the situation now, not snuggle with the man who tried to assault your son...

thursday · 25/10/2014 00:42

No, she said they WERE snuggling, she fell asleep and then woke up to World War III and is bewildered. I don't think she s gone 'oh he won't leave so we've carried in watching the telly'. Hopefully the silence is because he's fucking the fuck off or she's got the police on the way. I imagine if he's still there when ex comes to get his sons there will be a Confrontation.

AgentZigzag · 25/10/2014 00:43

'Meanwhile do tells me we're finished as I stuck up for ds2 over him.'

If you do anything about this situation OP, make sure you make it crystal clear to your DP that you'll stick up for your DCs over him Every. Fucking. Time.

Make no bones about it.

Tell him in words that'll leave him in no doubt.

It's not OK for him to treat your DS like this, how your DS acted is irrelevant, your DP is an adult and you should be able to rely on him to act appropriately.

If you've noticed that this hasn't been happening recently, now's the time to sort it.

Squtternutbaush · 25/10/2014 00:51

Your partner has physically assaulted your son so now either your children go to their father's and stay there for good whilst you live with this prick or he goes and your children stay.

Its your call OP but I wouldn't be too pleased if I were your ex either.

hashtagwhatever · 25/10/2014 01:00

Will exp kick off himself when he comes to collect the dc?. Can't imagine he would take your dp fighting his 13yo lightly as shouldn't you.

AgentZigzag · 25/10/2014 01:03

If my 13 YO told me an adult was acting like this around her I can't say I'd be taking it lightly either.

I'd be fucking raging.

PiperIsOrange · 25/10/2014 01:08

If somebody attacked my children I would rip their fucking heads of and shit down their necks.

SuperWifeANDMum · 25/10/2014 01:37

I have no fucking clue what has happened. Nobody will tell me other than the kids saying dp kicked off over lemonade on the carpet. I've just had enough, feel like doing myself in.no idea what's happened. I go to sleep with everything fine, wake up everyone hating me

You do have a 'clue' what happened your children told you. Your partner had to be physically restrained by your elder son as he tried to attack your younger son over spilt lemonade.

Is that clearer for you?

To be honest if you were my mother I would hate you, you sound bloody useless.

AcrossthePond55 · 25/10/2014 02:25

It's best that your DSs go to their fathers'. They need to get away from your 'D'P. And they should stay with their father until you get your shit together!

You say he won't leave. Is it that you are living in his house and therefore you legitimately can't make him? Then YOU leave. If it's your house or joint housing call and report the incident to the police. Frankly I'm surprised your ex hasn't done so, I sure as hell would! If he had done the same to someone in a pub, it would be considered attempted assault. Maybe that will 'encourage' him to go. One way or another, you need to keep this man away from your children.

Never, I repeat, NEVER EVER choose a man over your children!! You will live to regret it.

cjdamoo · 25/10/2014 02:29

what a wanker your "d"p is. Seriously get him the fuck out of the house.

Sabrinnnnnnnna · 25/10/2014 02:37

No, it's not on that you had to restrain your partner from 13yr old son. Your partner needs to go, because you have your child's best interests to think of. Don't you? Your ds spilled a drink, apparently. That's all.

If you do anything about this situation OP, make sure you make it crystal clear to your DP that you'll stick up for your DCs over him Every. Fucking. Time.

And this. Every. Fucking. Time.

Notmeagain1 · 25/10/2014 05:11

I agree with this^^.

Your children do come first, always fucking first. Either your ex gets the kids and you keep the bastard, or the kids stay and the bastard goes. Your call, your life. Sorry!

A mums one job is to keep our kids safe, you have to decide how you're going to do it. Good luck.

AuntieStella · 25/10/2014 05:30

This is certainly not about a spilled drink.

OP: I do think you need to find out what is really going on. But make sure your DC are safe whilst you do so. Because whatever the underlying cause, the level of fighting is not normal and you have a lot of teen years ahead of you. It is important that your DSes do not learn to believe that this sort of flare up is either normal or acceptable.

It is good that the DSes can go to their father (who is absolutely right to remove them) whilst everyone calms down (and sobers up?)

Then the thinking starts about whether your DP is a safe person to have in the house. How often are there bad rows?

YouNerrNoothinJonSnerr · 25/10/2014 05:36

Oh, it's you again. Constant name changes do nothing to disguise who you are and even under this name change almost all of your posts are about how you don't really like your DP very much and how he hates your children and is envious of them, and how you have a thinly veiled contempt for his.

This is not even the first time that this kind of thing has gone on, and you were told last time to kick him out before it went badly wrong with one of your boys, yet he's still there.

Seriously, why don't you get a grip and set this one free, for everybody's sakes? Neither of you are making the other happy in the slightest, and he is making your poor sons fucking miserable. I do not for the life of me why you persist with this relationship and if I were your ex I'd be taking my sons home for good.

Hissy · 25/10/2014 05:38

what a terrifying night, how's everything now? are you ok, are the boys ok?

people here are right, your dp needs to go.

YouNerrNoothinJonSnerr · 25/10/2014 05:41

And now he's told you now that it's over because you have taken sides and prioritised your child over him. Exactly as you should. You would be some kind of wicked, mad bitch if you didn't, to be honest.

So that's it then. It's over. Pack his bags for him, or move out yourself, whichever. But do it.

FoxgloveFairy · 25/10/2014 06:15

Ok. Ex has turned up to take the kids. Let him take them- they'll be safe with him? That is the priority right now. Who phoned ex? Sorry, but something here tells me that this is not the first time something like this has happened. You also need to be safe. Is your "partner" gone? He needs to be. He attacked your son. I'm not quite sure how this all happened with you asleep until it was all on? Okay, I'm a very light sleeper, but I do doze off if I've had a couple of wines. Was alcahol a factor? Not judging, but it sounds like your partner may have been drinking too, which is why he felt the need to attack a 13 year old lad for spilling lemonade. I don't know obviously. But I do know that your older son having to defend your younger ain't on. Time to sort it. Sincerely, all the best. Really.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 25/10/2014 07:17

So your DP is a nasty aggressive bully who physically attacked your 13 year old. I bloody hope you called the police to remove him!
Your son was dead right to call his dad, they clearly aren't safe in their home are they?
Good god woman get this man out of your lives.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 25/10/2014 07:41

You've posted before about this twat and here you are again, still letting your lad take the brunt of this arse's temper.

How do you sleep at night?

MiscellaneousAssortment · 25/10/2014 08:32

Your responsibility is to your children. This is not a safe enviroemt for them. You know what to do. Have a feeling you won't do it though.

DaisyFlowerChain · 25/10/2014 08:47

Poor children, hopefully their dad will keep hold of them and apply for residency until you can get your act together. They need to feel safe and loved in their own home not scared and second best.

WeirdCatLady · 25/10/2014 08:56

If he were my "d"p he'd be out. It is appalling for your ds to have been subjected to this attack, I'm glad your ex is concerned enough to remove your children from this horrible situation.
The reasons why this happened are unimportant - a grown man had to be held back from your child....by your other child! WTF?!

skylark2 · 25/10/2014 09:05

Your kids need to live with a parent who cares about their wellbeing.

That's thier father, not you.

If that horrifies you (and it bloodly well should), do something about it.