AIBU to say no to this gift for the baby

[MrsDutchie]

DH and I are expecting first baby in December. My parents are very religious Christians. So far they bought a Noah's Ark book for the baby (I know, it will be a long time before baby can read it) and a large Noah's Ark clock for the nursery.

Thing is, this bothers me. I know it's a lovely gift and gesture but DH and I are not religious, and don't plan on bringing baby up to any particular religion. My parents know this yet they still push with religious gifts and I am 100% certain this is only the beginning. They usually give religious gifts as baby presents to other non-Christians as a way to tell them about Jesus.

I've been quite firm with DM that it makes me uncomfortable that it's religious but she pushes it quite hard. How do I broach this & AIBU for being so bothered by it? After all, I could just get it out when they visit.

I love the HMS Beagle suggestion from VirtualPointyHat

I think the Ark stuff is just about ok but anything much more is a bit much really. My DHs family are very religious but have been good about not saying anything so on the odd occasion where they have given religious presents I haven't minded too much. They have given St George's crosses etc. I just put them in a drawer and forget about them.

There is nothing wrong with letting them give you stuff, saying thank you and taking it to the charity shop. It's the easy way out but it's a simple solution. Otherwise you will have to stand up to them and I imagine that isn't going to be that effective as they are probably not going to stop.

I was brought up Catholic, and my wider family were all very very devout. When dd was little, mum got her a lovely Noah's ark wooden puzzle; dd loved it and played with it a lot. Maybe mum told her Bible stories too, I don't know.

What I do know is that even though dd went to an apparently non-religious state school, she was told Bible stories because it was a state school. Not all the time, but they had Nativity plays, and Easter plays and so on.

She is not Christian. She chose Paganism at age 11, despite dh and I being non-religious, one gm being Catholic and the other CofE.

You will be the greatest influence on your child. Be laid back about, teach children to be open minded "some people believe that, we don't" is enough. They'll find their own paths.

I think YABU. DS has Noah's ark inspired wallpaper and loves pointing to the animals and making noises. It's unlikely that a book and a clock will indoctrinate your child!

For Noah's ark stuff, yes, yabu.
Are you also planning on bypassing Easter and Christmas?

P.s
I'm atheist. I love the story of Noah's ark too.

My mum, who was a not terribly observant Christian, bought my niece a Noah's ark, and she loved it. My brother, a rabid atheist, wasn't mad keen... He called it "The Boat of Lies", but he did let her play with it. I think in this case you would be unreasonable to reject either gift, but totally reasonable to reject more obviously religious themed gifts, like bibles or crosses etc.

Yabvu. It's a choice you made for your own life and it would be wrong to place that upon your choice. Why not go with an approach of being open minded and let them choose their own path when they are old enough.

YABU. Versions of the Deluge story exist in most cultures, regardless of faith. Besides, if you tell the story you can choose to tell it as a fairy tale.

If it was this OTOH, I'd say YWNBU.

Well it doesn't seem much to do with religion to me. That seems secondary. It's sounds more about your ideas as a new parent and wanting a bit more respect or something.

Re Noah's ark I'd pick the battle tbh. This isn't it at this point anyway. And Noah is one of the fun ones. You know your parents will behave in certain ways. You need to find new paths through this. A life long process that will be bumpy. I'm assuming they are otherwise nice people. Good luck. This is just the beginning. For all of you.

Hmmm. I'll say YANBU because I know how some people (my mother, for instance) operate. It seems like something small but when you know the person, it isn't.

I have the reverse issue...we are religious and raising our children in our faith and my brother says sneery things about it in front of my DC. He's generally toxic though.

And if the person who is watching this thread and has just started a pointless thread about this thread is here, please just post your opinions on here instead of starting a goody thread elsewhere!

I understand your worry op, but how far away do they live, how much in put do they have in your life right now, will they spend long time alone with the child when they can brain wash?

When baby comes you will feel and start to feel so much more in control,

as it stands the noahs ark etc really is nothing.

what you say as parents will be far more important, as long as....the child isnt left alone with them for a long time.

Yabu....

They are thoughtful....

It's a wooden boat with animals

Sorry everyone, as you were, MNHQ are quick off the mark tonight and have deleted the other thread! Order is restored!

I was in the National Gallery last month, and was behind a gaggle of school children in front of a painting depicting Mary Magdalene (labelled as such) at the feet of Jesus. One of them piped up "I wonder what this is supposed to be about?". No one knew, then they moved on. Since so much of Art History is predicated on an understanding of Judaeo-Christian iconography, these children have fewer chances than others to appreciate art because they don't know the basic Christian stories. As someone said upthread, this is the basis of much of UK society (laws, statutes, art, architecture etc etc) so children need to learn it, even if you aren't personally a religious family.

Why not go with an approach of being open minded and let them choose their own path when they are old enough.

Perhaps they feel strongly about not believing in a cult?

From you're OP: you've told your DM that it makes you uncomfortable and she continues to buy religious gifts. She is being very U.

Your kid will be exposed to this stuff anyway. DS (5) has come home from school talking about Jesus coming back to life, God creating the earth etc. Bit annoying as it's not a religious school but just because other people expose them to it doesn't mean you have to go along with it as anything other than just another story.

How your DC understand it will depend a lot on how you explain it to them. An (atheist) friend's 6y.o. completely seriously explained to me the other day that Noah's ark is an "origin story"...

Blimey SixImpossible that is a truly tacky gift .

Here's hoping you didn't receive it!

DP's and my version of the aforementioned catchy song...

Soooo Ri-iise and Shine
And listen to Odin's story!
Ri-iise and Shine
And listen to Odin's story!
Rise and Shine
And >clap!< listen to Odin's story!
Children of the Norse...

(DS loves it too)

When the time comes, just tell your child it's a fairy story.

My DDs went to a CofE primary, as its our local school. Im an atheist and it didn't bother me at all. I just used it to have discussions with them. Neither of them are religious at all now and they are in their 20s.

I wouldn't like it tbh. There is however a lovely book called all afloat on Noah's boat which tells the story without any reference to god which I love (and I'm an atheist who strongly believes in secular education).

I tell my DD a story about a wolf who swallowed a girls Grandma and pretended to be her to try and gobble up the little girl.

The story of the Ark will be told in the same "this is a fairy story" kind of way.

The Ark burned its bridges with me when it failed to wait for the Unicorns to board.