Think this is an odd thing to say?

[froootbat]

DD looks like DH, I know, he knows, the cat knows everyone knows. However my MIL and FIL do tend to go on about it a bit, but I get that they're proud etc... So I try not to let it bother me much because it's not important (though I don't think an hour goes by without some comment about how she 'so looks like DH, definitely not you' when we visit). But this weekend my MIL was in the middle of going on about how she is DH's double when she grabbed her hand and said her fingers are just like DH's too. Now, to me that just seems like a weird thing to say? It almost feels like she is making her out to be all him and none of me? I know I'm probably overanalysing it and being over sensitive but she does have some of my features and I did the whole growing and birthing thing yet it feels a little like she can't see that she's my DD too even down to her finger tips. It just seemed a little much to me really and that comment has really stuck at me. AIBU?

My delightful mil points out (at every possible opportunity) how much my ds's are exactly like dh's brother.... she did slip up when I showed her a pic of me as a baby and she thought it was ds1

Smile and nod whilst thinking murderous thoughts

Thank goodness she hasn't got his beard and hairy chest then in that case, perish the thought!

The opposite is annoying too. I didn't look like my dad at all (mixed family) and my uncle actually said to me I wasn't his niece because I'm black (I'm not black, I'm brown, not that it should matter).

@Iamyourmil I would be so upset at that comment, I can see why you would be! What a mean thing to say, joking or not!

Everyone says DS looks like DH. Even my DDs say its weird to see their Stepdad's angry face, the one that they saw when they missed curfew or something, on their little half-sib.

I think he looks like my dMs brothers did when they were young.

At least they think your dd does look like her dad. My MIL kept repeating 'he doesn't look a bit like dh' over and over when my ds was a baby. Every bloody time we saw her.
I almost offered to have a paternity test done

Could be a load of twaddle but I heard that babies are designed to look like their fathers so in past times the father would know the offspring was theirs and stick around. Both mine looked just like their dad and now the eldest is two he is beginning in to look like me - yay!

Both my children are clones a of DH. however what people compliment most is their dispositions and behaviour - DH was a hyperactive terror and I was a (precocious) bright cheerful obedient thing so I find it very easy to smile and nod! I consider myself to be at best plain looking and DH is quite lovely looking so I'd rather it this way,!

'Well of course she does MIL. Its because, wait for it, she is his daughter. Didn't you know?'

Came on to say this but cat beat me to it. It's an evolutionary thing designed to make men bond with the child and not abandon them. I think.

I get that all the time. I either say "at least he's got my nice nature" or "never mind, he might grow out of it" depending on my mood. No one can say it about ds3 though. He's my double poor little soul.

I should just say, well she is his daughter! I have said 'no paternity test needed!' before, and I wouldn't dream of doing anything but smiling and nodding, I don't say a word (I just go online and passive aggressively rant about it later) I just smile and nod, but it does get to me a little. I need to maybe just be a bit more grown up, but I'm a sensitive soul!

About five times a year my MIL remarks that my eldest DD got her artistic ability from my SIL (her daughter). My SIL can draw, adequately. I was accepted into a couple of very good art colleges. my DD IS 11 now, so I have heard this silly comment, and nodded and smiled, 55 times now ...

My MIL does this with my DCs, especially with DD (she has 3 DSs, no DDs). The strangest comment was after the birth of DS. My parents have 3 DDs, so MIL said something along the lines of "You couldn't have done better if you'd planned it. A girl for our family and a boy for yours... and we've always wondered what she would have looked like if we'd had a girl. [Adoring and wistful gaze at DD] Umm, OK MIL, but you know you didn't actually give birth to her right?! I'm sure some of my genes are in there too!

I actually find it worse when she does it with personality traits. I am tired of hearing how DD is just like her eldest DS and my DS is like their middle DS. Not least because neither are particularly happy men and MIL is constantly telling me how they are underachieving/depressed/wasted in their jobs/losing the plot again (her words). When DD was three weeks old MIL actually wondered aloud whether DD might be bipolar or maybe dyslexic as it runs in their family. I kick myself that I sat and listened to that without telling her that there was really no point worrying about that until she shows some concrete signs, which obviously a 3wo is not going to do.

For the record, I like MIl but this really irritates me.

My MIL dyed her hair to the same colour as my DS (beautiful sandy/golden colour - not red, not blond, not brown). Then told people it was her natural colour and she had let it grow back ... Was a bit odd when the roots came through!!!

My DS looks like my brother. I can assure you all he isn't the father!

I kinda have the opposite problem. MIL always says how she can only see me in DS .. as if she's suggesting... you know!

Yanbu. It is weird. Like all you did was incubate a child that is 100 percent your husband's handywork. Bonkers!

baroness

classic Mil Mad Behaviour if your DH has a DS she will probably be thinking he created the child with his sister rather than you. If no sister then yes, test tube.

Oh GOD, I'm going to get personality traits too?!
Well I know that the Mister was a quiet kid who did nothing but read and keep his own company and study history books (apparently...) and DD is most certainly NOT quiet at the moment! Fancy worry about whether a 3wo is dyslexic or bloody bipolar!! That is insane.
I did get a lot of well Mr. Froootbat just slept and ate as a baby, little froootbat is exactly the same (apart from she wasn't, but we won't go there!)
Crikey, in-laws, who'd have 'em?

@pieceofpurplesky that really is odd! Why did she do that, that's really strange

MIL does this to us too. Every single thing is just like DH apparently. I find the personality traits most annoying tbh. My favourite was when she was banging on once about blood relatives, and how of course I'm not one of DD's blood relations, only she and DH are (skipping over FIL entirely). DH pointed out that both DCs were literally covered in my blood at birth.

baroness I snorted!
I will just have to practice my nodding and smiling I think!

Oh god my mum does this but in reverse! There are four of us siblings and we have 7 kids between us and apparently none of them look like 'her children'! We each have one child that looks at least a bit like us but she just can't see it. Also dd went through a short stage of only wanting her daddy, but she's more a mummy's girl most of the time now, but mum still goes on about what a daddy's girl she is. Quite wearing!

TBH I think I prefer this to the alternative - there's no denying your baby isn't yours the whole coming out the vagina thing, duh but I would find it very hard if my baby happened to look everything like me and nothing like DH! Then you'd forever get people questioning your fidelity - so much worse IMHO. It must be much worse for a man to be on the receiving end of "are you sure s/he's yours?" jokes...

Personally I think I'm lucky DS looks 100% like my husband and 0% like me or the milkman...!