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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want dh to call his daughters hussies

29 replies

Notsuretoday · 19/10/2014 19:04

We walked past our daughters' school bus stop today and the girls, who are 13 and 11, were jokingly posing. Dh laughed and said "the girls stand at the bus stop like hussies". I was instantly dismayed at the use of the word, about which dh got annoyed because he feels it's just an antiquated word and not offensive. I disagree and find it inappropriate. Consulting online dictionaries hasn't helped because we can both find things to back up what we think. I have to add that I am not English so the finer nuances of meaning might be lost on me. So now it's over to Mumsnet - who is right?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 19/10/2014 19:05

I thought it meant prostitutes, so I wouldn't be happy, no.

ImperialBlether · 19/10/2014 19:06

Or maybe not prostitute, thinking about it, but 'woman of loose morals.' Which is worse, really!

Ask him for the male equivalent word.

TheGirlAtTheRockShow · 19/10/2014 19:07

I would not be happy! It is antiquated but does mean prostitute as far as I am aware. Being antiquated doesn't make it ok.

ApocalypseThen · 19/10/2014 19:07

Completely inappropriate. Not just an outdated word, but an outdated concept designed to control and humiliate women and girls.

Floggingmolly · 19/10/2014 19:08

How were they "posing"? if they were pole dancing he had a point

WitchWay · 19/10/2014 19:08

Not very nice,but he did say "standing about like hussies" not "look at those two hussies, standing about".

He used a metaphor, he didn't call them hussies.

ImperialBlether · 19/10/2014 19:09

Just read the dictionary definition, which says you are both right.

  1. a brazen or immoral woman.
  1. a mischievous, impudent, or ill-behaved girl.
slightlyworriednc · 19/10/2014 19:09

I agree with your DH- it's antiquated and not nearly as offensive as some words. It's more 'tart' than 'slag'...even less so, if that makes sense.

My nan would call me a 'brazen hussy' with a wink, if I wore a short skirt or something. What she'd mean is, 'that would have been frowned up on in my day, but I admire your confidence'. If said with a smile, I really don't think it's meant in the way you're taking it.

I didn't know it meant prostitute.

WD41 · 19/10/2014 19:09

Yanbu

WineWineWine · 19/10/2014 19:10

When he says they are standing there like hussies, what does he mean?
I suspect that he intends it to be derogatory, comparable to prostitues.

It is offensive and inappropriate.

EatShitDerek · 19/10/2014 19:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApocalypseThen · 19/10/2014 19:11

That suggests that he has any business using those kinds of words at all and it's all fine because he's taking his misogyny old skool.

thisusernameisunavailable · 19/10/2014 19:12

It may be old fashion and outdated, meaning is still the same.
I would ask him although the word is old fashioned, what is the meaning, and why does he think that is an acceptable word to use to describe any female let alone his young children.

backbystealth · 19/10/2014 19:12

Inappropriate yes but if he just said it off the top of his head and jokily I think it's forgiveable - he clearly didn't know he was being offensive.

halamadrid · 19/10/2014 19:12

I agree with WitchWay. He said standing like hussies so if they were posing and standing like hussies then that is what they were doing. He didn't say they are hussies.

Original poster
Notsuretoday · 19/10/2014 19:12

They were posing "model-style", hands on hips, throwing hair back kind of thing

OP posts:
Original poster
Notsuretoday · 19/10/2014 19:13

But how do hussies pose?

OP posts:
Aridane · 19/10/2014 20:30

I must be way off as I thought it meant a saucy girl or an effectionate term for coquette. But giving your husband , the benefit of the doubt, maybe he thought the same?

daisyswirl · 20/10/2014 07:34

Sorry..read title really quickly and thought it said huskies! Blush I was sat here thinking eh? Grin

FlipFl0pp · 20/10/2014 11:54

Well personally I'd put the word hussy in the same category as madam (as in she's a little madam not here's your bag madam). So not particularly pleasant but not in the same league as slag/tart etc

Nomama · 20/10/2014 13:35

Impudent young girls.

As with many English words there are multiple meanings. If they were throwing a few model poses then they were being coquettish, teases, proper little madams, etc.

WitchWay · 20/10/2014 19:32

Blush he didn't use a megaphone, he used a simile.

Minx might have been better than hussy, but then again...

WitchWay · 20/10/2014 19:32

Megaphone AAARGH autocorrect METAPHOR

Nomama · 20/10/2014 19:35

Oh I don't know, WitchWay, that works for me Smile

He didn't use a megaphone, he was only talking to OP!

Montegomongoose · 20/10/2014 19:36

It's irrelevant whether its slag or madam; he used a word with connotations of sexual attractiveness about girls of 11 and 13.

How would he feel about other men looking at your daughters in a sexual leering fashion?

I would be very unimpressed with anyone who referred to young girls as hussies.

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