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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to hate my partners ex!!!

82 replies

paulalouise92 · 16/10/2014 18:41

To cut a long story short!

They have a child together she always palms this child off with my partners parents as my partner works! She hasn't had him for the past week and Tuesday she came to pick him up she handed my partner a card from their child saying I love my daddy and pictures of my partner and his child on this card!

Now that's not my problem my problem is they are personal photos and she hasn't had her child for a weekso she must of made it without her child being there!

AIBU to hate her purely for the fact she never has her child and does little stunts like this to actually make out she cares!

OP posts:

ADishBestEatenCold · 16/10/2014 18:47

"To cut a long story short!"

Actually, I think you've cut it too short.

From the tone of your post, I would guess you ABU, but really you haven't given me enough information to judge.

TheXxed · 16/10/2014 18:49

The card could have been made last week.

FatAmy · 16/10/2014 18:49

Yanbu to dislike someone, but from the post I'm not entirely sure what it is she's done wrong.

HarlowEver · 16/10/2014 18:50

Your partner can't look after him because he works, so that's a valid excuse? But she doesn't have a valid excuse?

If grandparents are happy then why not? Childcare costs are ridiculous.

If she's as bad as you think then your partner would realise that too which would mean he would know the real reason behind the card.

Aridane · 16/10/2014 18:50

eh?

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 16/10/2014 18:50

How do you know the card wasn't made when the child was with her and she just happened to bring it that day?
Why does your partners parents looking after their grandchild bother you, genuine question?
It is hard to tell from your post whether you are being unreasonable or not.
There may be lots of reasons why she leaves her child with its paternal grandparents, it may be so her child gets to spend quality time with them, it may be so her child gets to spend as much time with your DP as possible or it may be so she gets some time to her self - all of which seem perfectly reasonable to me. Or she may be being selfish, it is impossible to tell from what you have said.

Aridane · 16/10/2014 18:50

sorr y - Not following...

ApocalypseThen · 16/10/2014 18:54

Even if she is being selfish, couldn't you just mind your own business? It's nothing to do with you, you shouldn't even really trouble yourself to have an opinion.

Sandthorn · 16/10/2014 18:57

Palms child off on his willing grandparents? Gives your partner a card from his child with pictures of father and son?

I think you're going to have to elaborate on what your problem is.

Original poster

paulalouise92 · 16/10/2014 18:58

Okay I'll explain in more detail!

They broke up start of the year they came to an agreement all written out of set days and times they would both have him so it's shared! My partner sees him when he should if not more! She makes countless excuses as to why she can't have him so would his parents have him! Before his parents had him she would Palm him off to absolutely anybody who would have him which is why my partners parents agreed to have him as they knew he would be safe! My partners set days are monday weds n gti and every other weekend for the whole weekend! I can't remember the last time she had him for the whole weekend his parents have him atleast 3 nights in the week and she doesn't work! She does and says little things that try to make me and my partner argue! My partner speaks to her about their child and that is it she goes behind my partners back to ask his parents to have their child! 9/10 we have his child every weekend to stay with us and my daughter too! I think I've covered everything this time!

OP posts:

Caboodle · 16/10/2014 19:00

I feel YABU...child is happy with Grandparents and Grandparents are happy with the situation.
Should she not work? Maybe DC's Mum can give up work, look after DC and you can support DP and his DC?
Child appears to have good relationship with Dad. Honestly, what is the problem here?

Original poster

paulalouise92 · 16/10/2014 19:00

I forgot to add my partner has his son at the grandparents house on mon weds and fri as we quite some distance and his parents get to see the child also

OP posts:

anyoldname76 · 16/10/2014 19:01

What is wrong with the child's grandparents looking after him? I'm not sure why you're upset over the card either tbh, it was probably made earlier and its the only time she's been able drop it off. Unless I'm missing a huge back story here I can't see what she has done wrong

campingfilth · 16/10/2014 19:02

I think it is none of your business.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 16/10/2014 19:02

Has your partner calmly asked her why she asks his parents to care for their grandchild so frequently?
Could she be struggling on her own?

anyoldname76 · 16/10/2014 19:02

So does your partner ever have his child at home?

ohmychrist · 16/10/2014 19:03

Why all the exclamation marks? You're being daft.

IneedAwittierNickname · 16/10/2014 19:03

gobbynorthernbird · 16/10/2014 19:03

This is so dramatic! You sound like you need to grow up! And mind you own business!

socially · 16/10/2014 19:03

Are you 16? You sound like you need to approach his child and his ex with a lot a little more maturity.

MrsDeVere · 16/10/2014 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magoria · 16/10/2014 19:05

So if your DP has his son Mon, Wed and Fri how has she palmed him off on DPs parents for those 3 nights when it was his turn to have DS?

The card may have been made previously and she forgot it.

Either way it is down to them to sort out.

Only1scoop · 16/10/2014 19:05

YABU

If your boyfriends parents have a problem with this then It's up to them or him to voice it.

Regarding the card it makes you sound mean and jelous.

Newdawnforever · 16/10/2014 19:05

Some grandparents are desperate to take their grandkids at any opportunity so they probably love it, if they don't that's their issue to sort out.

You sound a bit obsessed with his ex and you don't have a valid reason for it. She gave him a card from the child which said 'I love daddy' and had photos, presumably of the child, how nice of her.

Find a hobby, read a book, spend time with friends, anything to get your mind off your unhealthy and extremely negative focus.

Yabu, you're the problem here, nobody else.

ohmychrist · 16/10/2014 19:06

You should be glad your DP has his child every weekend, surely.

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