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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to tell this woman to fuck right off

133 replies

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 18:03

I grant I am cold and wet and not in the best spirits. However I seem to have a habit of attracting annoying folk whilst going about my business.

Just now- standing at bus stop- no room in shelter so standing in rain. Check the bus times on my phone. An older lady eagerly catches my eye and asks when the 249 comes. I tell her it says 8 minutes. Then she says, what about the 432? I say it says two mins. Go back to listening to music on my phone. She catches my eye again- I stop music just so she can point out that it's been a "long two minutes", looking at me as if I have any control over the buses whatsoever. I check the times again- and tell her now the 249 says four minutes, the 432 says 11. She crossly tells me "so your information isn't infallible then?!". Well obviously not you stupid woman, have you never taken a bus in South London before? Instead I say "no- they often change". Then the 432 comes, she isn't paying attention. So I tap her and point out the bus. She snarls at me "well it's the 249 I really need". Then glares at me.

Honestly.

Why do I bother?!

OP posts:
peasandlove · 14/10/2014 05:35

Gotta laugh. Aibu is basically fight club these days and an opportunity to pick at anything the op said in order to declare that yes they were bu

scaevola · 14/10/2014 06:19

AIBU should not be a 'fight club'

But neither is is "PO" to notice an object to casual ageism

Especially if you are an "older" poster.

peasandlove · 14/10/2014 06:51

you could probably find something to be offended about in most OP's on this forum, if that's what you were after. There's a whole bunch of people out there who are offended for the sake of it these days.

NynaevesSister · 14/10/2014 06:51

I envy you your 249 and 432. There's nothing as long and lonely as the wait for the 322 especially as you watch a stream of 450s go past. That woman doesn't know how good she's got it.

Binkybix · 14/10/2014 07:32

I've been in that noodle bar :(

londonrach · 14/10/2014 07:39

Thanks op and others for making me smile re bus rage

Spidergirl77 · 14/10/2014 07:50

Many years ago I caught a Tain that was very stressful. If it was running late they would terminate a stop before and you were support to get off and wait for the next train (30mins wait) they were doing this twice a week.

I got the rage one day and blocked the doors for ten mins, to teach them a lesson. cue entire Train staring at me in horror and the guard threatening me with the police. I should be French they take no shit

They didn't terminate us for weeks after that.

ChippingInLatteLover · 14/10/2014 07:57

taxi4ballet it's not the Queen I miss, there are plenty around here who give her a run for her money, it's the batshit people I miss Grin

HappyAgainOneDay (hope you are!!) do you live on a very small island?

TheRealAmandaClark & Scaevola for the god only knows how many'th time, the fact that the woman was older than the OP IS relevant. The OP took off her headphones and engaged with the woman because she was older than her because she has been brought up to respect her elders. FGS, untwist your knickers & practice your reading comprehension.

JoycemynameisJoyce · 14/10/2014 08:19

Oh goody, more London-bashing. The police outside of London are being disbanded as nothing bad ever happens outside of the M25.

TiggerLillies · 14/10/2014 08:44

I'm feeling really put out, as an unusually friendly Londoner, no one of any age ever wants to strike up conversation with me, if you see her again, send her to SW London - I'll talk so much it ensures she'll never strike up random conversations again!.
Grin

BiddyPop · 14/10/2014 11:51

I am confused (although loving the stories - we have similar in Dublin!!).

How is it ageist to use a descriptor - if I was talking about a work colleague, I might use "older woman" to describe her as she is older than me - but not elderly. Maybe 5 years older. I would use elderly for someone seeming actually elderly (either infirm, or at least 70+, possibly not even that young). I would use younger woman for anyone roughly 5 years or more younger than me.

I can understand elderly being potentially ageist. But descriptive words like older or younger?!

Goes off fanning fan as a hot flush comes on, thinking about potentially NOT returning to public transport full time despite the huge increase in commuting times........

TheRealAmandaClarke · 14/10/2014 13:18

chipping
No need to be rude.
I dont agree with you.

GoWestcountry · 14/10/2014 14:01

Oh I'm feeling very pleased with myself that I've worked out the locations of both those bus stops. That's tragic isn't it?

vezzie I think the noodle place is a Foxtons now!

vezzie · 14/10/2014 14:50

good! I hope no one takes a shit in it (though people must sometimes be tempted, in Foxtons)

Smilesandpiles · 14/10/2014 15:10

Our local bus service has just won an award. What the hell for though I'll never know.

They are either late or missing and when they do eventually bother to turn up, the price has gone up, they smell of mould and todays bus, the windscreen itself was letting in water, it's bad enough when the other windows let in water but it's worse when the driver can't see.

It's a bloody disgrace. When you comaplin about the missing buses, you are told that it's not true, the busses were there and that you must have missed them. Basically, we're all liars.

Having to take the bus is what has pushed me to learn to drive. For the service you get, the price is astronomical.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 14/10/2014 20:36

I agree with smiles buses can be so rubbish. It seems like a great idea. Just hop on the bus, no parking stresses, easy access around town (i live in outer London and work in London) but its so often just a way of adding extra stress to your day.

ChippingInLatteLover · 14/10/2014 20:41

TheRealAmandaClarke It's not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing - it's fact and you are wrong. The woman was older than the OP, this influenced (in a positive way I might add!) the OP's behaviour. It Is Relevant.

TalcAndTurnips · 14/10/2014 20:53

Quite apart from all the bus stop shenanigans, grumpasaur, have you ever peeked at this lovely website?

It's the Marauder's Map for London Buses. Look at them all there, trundling along the streets, like little bus ants.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 14/10/2014 21:04
Grin
TheRealAmandaClarke · 14/10/2014 21:16

No chipping
You believe that to be the case.
I don't

Justgotosleepnow · 14/10/2014 21:36

What a fantastic map! Thanks!
Sorry you had such a crap bus wait op Thanks

PhaedraIsMyName · 14/10/2014 21:40

I don't see anything particularly odd about the word "infallible" .It's used a lot in my house.

TalcAndTurnips · 14/10/2014 21:41

It's fab isn't it Just?

I have a penchant for things moving about on maps. A couple of years ago I was responsible for getting several MNers hooked on FlightRadar 24 (google it if you haven't seen it - it will change your life). Now it appears that I am also a bus wanker. Confused

grumpasaur · 14/10/2014 21:46

I have just popped back onto my thread and am shocked that there is still the ageist debate going on.

Thanks Chipping for defending me!

Therealamanda- I think perhaps this is an issue where you are putting your personal experiences and feelings onto a situation, and coming up with more than is there. the fact of the matter is, she was older. Not by a little bit, but a good forty to fifty years my senior. This was relevant both to the situation and to my OP because it affected how I responded- in am positive way (for her)! Had she been my age I may not have bothered responding after a while, and I certainly would have called her on being rude. However because she was older, I felt obligated to help her and be polite to her despite her behaviour towards me.

You are being rude and ignorant.

Fwiw- if I had an irritating encounter with a black African woman, and in describing the incident it was relevant for some reason to note that she was black African, I would. If it wasn't relevant, I wouldn't.

For example- i couldn't help her because she was from French-speaking Africa and so she was left stranded, or, a woman from Uganda stopped me on the street today to compliment me on my necklace today because she recognised a symbol of her home town. Or something like that.

OP posts:
aermingers · 14/10/2014 21:53

Someone did something similar to me. I was in a shop where there was a communal changing room (as a customer) and went in to try on a few bits. I went into the communal changing room, there were about 3 women in there. I was standing in my bra and this woman of about 20 came in. There was a staff member on the door and I clearly wasn't staff, unless it's suddenly become common to go to work in your bra.

She shouted at me 'What, does everyone just get dressed in here.' I said yes and she just stared at me agog. I could see out of the corner of my eye she was getting angrier and angrier to the point of shaking. I don't know what she wanted me to do, if she wanted everyone else to drop everything and leave so she could use the room on her own or if she expected me to find somewhere else for her to change or if she thought the communal changing rooms were my idea. She worked herself up to a frenzy and was practically red in the face. She ended up literally howling and flung the clothes she wanted to try on at me and stomped out.

Honestly, I believe some people are just so dim they don't understand that when something goes wrong it's not simply the fault of whoever is standing closest to you.

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