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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to tell this woman to fuck right off

133 replies

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 18:03

I grant I am cold and wet and not in the best spirits. However I seem to have a habit of attracting annoying folk whilst going about my business.

Just now- standing at bus stop- no room in shelter so standing in rain. Check the bus times on my phone. An older lady eagerly catches my eye and asks when the 249 comes. I tell her it says 8 minutes. Then she says, what about the 432? I say it says two mins. Go back to listening to music on my phone. She catches my eye again- I stop music just so she can point out that it's been a "long two minutes", looking at me as if I have any control over the buses whatsoever. I check the times again- and tell her now the 249 says four minutes, the 432 says 11. She crossly tells me "so your information isn't infallible then?!". Well obviously not you stupid woman, have you never taken a bus in South London before? Instead I say "no- they often change". Then the 432 comes, she isn't paying attention. So I tap her and point out the bus. She snarls at me "well it's the 249 I really need". Then glares at me.

Honestly.

Why do I bother?!

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Northernlurker · 13/10/2014 20:36

Well she was very rude. Must have been having some sort of bus related breakdown surely? One of dd1's friends calls buses ' the peasant wagon'. Whilst condemning his snide dismissal of anybody without mummy and daddy's audi to pick them up - I do know what he means. It brings the worst out in people.

fackinell · 13/10/2014 20:37

Why does anyone in London believe the bus times? They're a rough guideline for within the next 12 hours surely. Hmm

needyoumorethanwantyou · 13/10/2014 20:42

Mildly annoying I think. Certainly not worthy as a 'fuck off' and really not worthy getting angry about.

Honestly, what would happen if someone seriously annoyed you?.!. And I am in no way being snide but I see so many threads on MN with people getting angry/offended/upset about incidents that are so insignificant and I think it's a huge waste of thoughts and/or emotions.

I could say 'let it go'but it shouldn't have even registered in the first place!.

Longdistance · 13/10/2014 20:43

Just a simple 'Does it look like I have an I for information above my head?' Should suffice.

Momagain1 · 13/10/2014 21:37

I think the lady was having a go at your magical pocket computer phone thing. She is probably fed up with being told how useful and up to the minute it is to have technology at your fingertips! So, woooh, she caught you out!

The thing is, your phone WAS correct, infallible even. It adjusted for the delays, just as the dotty thing does when the predicted time comes and goes and suddenly it adds more time.

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 21:52

Oh lord, this is why I never post on here, just lurk and cringe.

Ladyluck- I am sorry it seemed odd to you, but that was the word she chose to use. To be frank, her singular use of the word "infallible" was significantly less weird than the interaction as a whole.

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grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 21:55

Needyoumorethanwantyou... Good lord. Of course things that actually matter in life have annoyed me in the past, and will certainly annoy me again in the future.

This situation was more of a mild "argh" whilst I was standing in the rain and forced to engage with someone who was rude and irritating. Nothing more.

If the post isn't important enough for you, don't read it! And don't waste time posting, for gods sake.

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grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 21:57

Oh and momagain- I can see your point IF I was touting the virtues of my amazing app! Quite the contrary- I was looking down and not inviting at all. I even had my headphones in. Every time she wanted my attention I had to turn my music off, remove ear phones, and ask her to repeat herself.

She was older and so I couldn't bring myself to ignore her- my upbringing has instilled in me an innate sense of deference for my elders!

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Charitygirl1 · 13/10/2014 21:58

249 shout out!

Missing the point I know.

fizzymittens · 13/10/2014 21:59

Thanks for telling us she was an 'older lady' as I am sure that was integral to her being a grumpy (old) bag. Presumably that's what you actually meant?

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:01

Yo Charity Girl!

Funnily enough I am a charity girl myself, so double samesies!!!

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grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:04

Fizzy mittens... Huh?

People really will find anything to jump on, won't they?! I said she was older and therefore I felt obligated to remove headphones, etc, because that is how I was raised.

Her age made no difference whatsoever to why she was rude and irritating and totally incapable of reading the social cue of "headphones on + looking down = don't want to engage"...

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Stratter5 · 13/10/2014 22:07

Presumably so we wouldn't confuse her with Rood Yoof.

fizzymittens · 13/10/2014 22:11

"headphones on + looking down = fucking rude"...

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:14

Fuzzy- are you crazy? Have you been on public transport? Or just, in public? How on earth is it rude of me to be listening to my own music and reading my phone whilst traveling alone on my commute?

I spent over three hours today alone on transport- my phone and earphones help me stay sane.

Not only that- but when I saw she needed something (repeatedly!) I turned my music off and removed me ear phones... Only to give her all the information I had, for her to be rude to me!

If you are looking for someone to rip apart, please look elsewhere! I am a lot of things, but "fucking rude" isn't one of them.

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grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:20

And stratter, I don't know if you are being serious or sarcastic, but I actually like youth (and work with them daily)! I also like the elderly, and the non elderly, and pretty much anyone who isn't rude.

I also don't like rude young people, rude middle aged people, rude older people, etc.

I just brought up her age as I felt more obligated to be polite, due to having the "respect your elders" value drilled into me!

For example- once, i was travelling (ironically with my 81 year old grandma), we were staying at a hotel, which included breakfast. So at breakfast this older gentleman crosses the room to tell me that my boots were aggressive and loud and intrusive. Instead of telling him to mind he own business, I said to him I was sorry and would keep it in mind. If I had responded in kind my grandma would have clobbered me!

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Stratter5 · 13/10/2014 22:22

Blimey, grump, I'm on your side. I can't see anything wrong with 'older lady'. Now if you'd called her an old bat...

fizzymittens · 13/10/2014 22:34

To be fair I think that putting your earphones on and looking down when someone clearly wants to talk to you is rude. But in my defence I never use public transport so you have me there.

Oh and Grin at 'Fuzzy'....

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:37

Stratter- ah, sorry- was getting a bit agro there, trying to defend my original post and being called rude...

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Primafacie · 13/10/2014 22:38

Yeah grump, next time you should describe everyone in your post as 'Human no. 1', 'Human no. 2' and so on, lest you offend someone. :o

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:40

Fizzy, I didn't put them on when she wanted to talk to me. I already had them on. Then I kindly removed them when she caught my eye and obviously wanted to talk to me. Then put them back in when I thought each interaction had finished. Then removed again when I realised she wanted something else.

I cannot emphasise enough that the crux of the situation was that she wanted something from me, I offered her what I could patiently and repeatedly, and she just kept having a go at me. Which annoyed me, as I was cold, wet, standing in the rain outside a crowded bus shelter whilst she sat dry inside... After a long day!

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fizzymittens · 13/10/2014 22:42

You are right. She was a dragon of a certain age. Grin

grumpasaur · 13/10/2014 22:44

Edited op (taking into account all feedback)

Earlier today I was ever so slightly annoyed that a nondescript human asked me questions at a bus stop and then got angry with me because the information I had to hand was inaccurate. I tried to help this person based on the questions that he or she had originally posed to me, only to be told emphatically that the information I provided was not useful as he or she actually wanted something else. I was not affected by this in any significant way but it did momentarily impact my mood. I cannot remember the exact turns of phrase used, but can assure all and sundry that they were not questionable in any way.

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JubJubBirds · 13/10/2014 22:48

'To be fair I think that putting your earphones on and looking down when someone clearly wants to talk to you is rude. But in my defence I never use public transport so you have me there.'

GrinYou can definitely tell you never use public transport. I just just imagine you now pottering up the bus chatting generally to your fellow passengers, while they're all simultaneously avoiding eye contact and hoping you dont sit next to them....

ChippingInLatteLover · 13/10/2014 22:49

GrinWine

I think we need a separate section for those who aren't PO.!

...and frankly, some posters have not only not been on public transport, I'm not sure they've even been on planet earth!

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