my baby boomer parents are selfish and ungrateful

[yoofoftoday]

Had lunch with parents yesterday and left so fuming.

Mother complains about not being able to get a new car on finance and that her retirement income is only 28k after she retired early. Her current car is only 4 years old and she often uses her free bus pass (only free to her take payers have to pay for it along with the rising bus fares) as she doesn't was the BMW to get scratched in town. I barely can afford the bus and can't even afford a car.

Dad who gets his state pension but still works was complaining that he has to pay Ni and then wait till the end of the year to claim it back. Also complqains that now he gets his state pension has to up the amount in his private pension to avoid 40% tax. He only keeps doing this job as its easy and he works from home not doing much.

Uncle who sold a building plot to developers for a fortune ages ago and hasn't worked since said "oh your poor dad still working". When my dad is in perfect health and works from home paid a lot for easy work, basically on call 9-5.

Then my parents say they are putting their winter fuel allowance towards a 3d DVD player while I go home to my cold house where I only put the heating on if it goes below 16.

Nc but regular.

a) The baby boomers haven't had it easy their whole lives. When their children were young their standard of living and expectations around holidays, nights out etc would have been lower than our generation.

b) Our generation will benefit from their good fortune eventually as most of their assets will eventually go to their children.

A) heaven forbid younger people make use of tehconologcal advances, as every generation has. The stats are saying young people are going out far less than their parents anyhow, stuck at home on q tablet.

B) have you not heard of inheritance tax? Also I want to be able to afford a house now, not 30 years down the line when I'm 60.

My parents are asset rich through good luck (a large inheritance invested in property and subsequent house price inflation- now worth several millions) and cash poor because, to be blunt, they have never worked particularly hard and never earnt much themselves. Good for them you might say, except they are always moaning about not having more liquid money, complaining about taxes, the mansion tax, nursing home fees in future etc, it's so unfair, we have paid our taxes (they have not paid much in tax as low incomes) and sounding off about single mothers, the unemployed and immigrants who are apparently milking the system, and threatening my parents' free bus pass.

They really feel hard done by that they don't have much cash. It is comical as they have so much wealth in property but they won't consider downsizing or releasing any value from it, yet feel entitled to complain that the taxpayer won't do more for them.

it is frustrating to hear about their problems which are not problems at all. I not sure they are selfish, just unthoughtful.

what was it like for them when they were your age?

I do think that generation had a pretty good deal. before and after seem harder, though we have lots of technological benefits and medical advances so no all bad.

And how exactly will I benefit from them blowing their money on new cars and lavish Holiday s?

I'll ask this again OP, you maybe missed it amongst all the responses, but I would really like to know the answer.

Do they know that you can barely afford the bus or to heat your home?

And how exactly will I benefit from them blowing their money on new cars and lavish Holiday s?

while they are on holidays you won't have to hear them whinge about how little money they have?

every cloud...

BTW I don't begrudge my parents' their good fortune, I just would like them to recognise that they have been financially fortunate, and stop quoting the Daily Mail to me!

YABVU we baby boomers are the generation that have to look after elderly parents as well as darling gc and not all of us particularly well off.
As for means testing winter fuel allowances it would probably cost more to decide who gets it.

They aren't raising a family anymore. I bloody well hope DH and I are allowed some slack once we're no longer funding 3 other people! The only way to compare their situation to yours (if you must, comparing yourself to another only hurts yourself) is to compare their situation when they are your age.

You have absolutely no idea what your life will be like at their age. And you need to look at your own life to work out why you don't have a house etc etc. Lots of people don't, lots of people do and quite often its got bugger all to do with their parents disposable income.

It sounds like this has more to do with your feelings about your own life tbh.

Y.A.N.B.U

YABU

sound envious to me

Do they know that you can barely afford the bus or to heat your home?

Yes. They've offered to loan me some money, I refused as they are controlling and i don't want to be in debt to them.

I know how you feel OP. I don't mind people having a moan if they want to, but they should have a bit of thought for who they are moaning to.

My mum and her partner are rolling in money and spend literally about half their time on holiday. They have a huge, 5-bed, 4-reception house for the two of them. Fine, I would love to do the same when I'm old and I don't begrudge them their careers spent working hard, and I certainly don't want their money.

But I was a bit when I explained to my mum (when she asked) that the reason we were possibly thinking of moving from our lovely, but small, house was that we have v little space for storage or guests, but it's hard to move as property is so expensive - and she and her partner both said "Oh yes, we really sympathise, it's almost impossible to find anywhere to store anything in our house, we just don't know what to do!!!" They have 4 empty bedrooms! They have outbuildings. As they are not working and can live wherever they like, they can afford a massive house, which cost less than our bijou 3-bed terrace (in the city where DP has to work, he couldn't do his job anywhere else). No mum, you do not know what it's like to be stuck for space!

My mum also goes on about her free bus pass and plans for treating herself with her winter fuel payments which she really doesn't need. Yes, she's entitled to it. But if I was as rich as her and took a benefit I didn't need, I think I'd at least keep quiet about it.

Yanbu

And it goes on.

Why does the fact that the parents are "baby boomers" rather than well-off people her own age mean that it has to be turned into political point-scoring about how hard these people might have had it in their youth?

I used to live in a bed-sit when I was four. My household now pays income tax, and the situation gets better every year. Do I get to whinge about how expensive heating bills are to a Big Issue seller, now? Well, maybe in some posters' worlds, yes. In mine, no.

You have absolutely no idea what your life will be like at their age. And you need to look at your own life to work out why you don't have a house etc etc.

Are you being serious?!

Laurie looking beyond nights out/tech and holidays that generation had free prescriptions, cheap housing (whether that be purchase price or council house) free uni education for themselves/their children, free private school places for their children if they passed exams, frequently had only one full-time worker when children were younger, they have far more golden passions than future generations will have, (bus passes and heating allowance are a bit unpredictable so I will leave them out) free dentistry, free eye checks and glasses, longer life expectancy, a greater health increment compared to previous generations than subsequent generations have, jobs for life etc etc.

I fully expect that the ability to inherit vast sums from housing will go either because the money is used for residential care (as it should be) or because something happens to house prices, (or even in some cases because the canny ones have spent it)

My parents are baby boomers and are fairly well off, have decent pensions etc - both retired at 60 and have state and private pensions. They have free bus passes, winter fuel payments etc. they fully acknowledge that they are the last generation to enjoy these perks.

However, I would never begrudge them anything because they have worked bloody hard all their lives to raise their children through recessions of the 80's and 90's when people really struggled to make ends meet, much more so than people need to today if I'm honest. So good on them I say.

As for means testing winter fuel allowances it would probably cost more to decide who gets it.

Yet the boomers were quite happy to ensure this is what happens for child benefit

(once they no longer needed it of course )

Yoof - you haven't quoted the next part of the sentence which says lots of people don't have their own houses. It probably has little to do with their parents.

Not saying that you have done something wrong not to have a house but its not got anything to do with your parents.

Yup YANBU I have a whinging mother, cruise every year, another holiday and countless home improvements

I switch off and ignore....you can't tell them anything

beingsuper

I think Are you being serious?! was a completely appropriate reaction to your entire paragraph.

HTH

Means testing the winter fuel payment would be easy and cost nothing. Only give it to the poor pensioners that get the enhanced state pension.

Perhaps we could get Tshirts made that read:

Euthanise the Baby Boomers!

That should annoy them all.

what a strange attitude op, your parents are moaning but as you say essentially they seem to be doing OK, I would love it if my parnets were the same and OK and comfortable.
odd to moan that your parnets in their old age are OK. maybe you dont like them very much