to mind DP saying our house is 'disgusting' and 'filthy'

[Meanderer]

Caveat - he does the majority of the cleaning (including bins and also washing up) because I do most of the other housework (childcare, food planning and shopping, cooking, admin you all know what I mean!)

..so it's not so much that he's criticising ME - although I can't help but feel that a little maybe in either his and/or my subconscious that's part of what bothers me.

..but that he's calling our home - in front of our daughter - filthy and disgusting..

It takes both my OH and me to both pull our weight on the cleaning front. OP- do you clean too?

Do you both work?

Sorry if it's been said but what's a dust bunny?

And it takes 5 mins to clean a loo!

If you have a smelly toilet then it's not being cleaned very often.

The toilet in my first boyfriend's house used to smell toxic! Both of his parents worked full time. No one did much cleaning... Ugh!

I assumed a dust bunny is another name for a dust mite....

Maybe hes pissed off with doing the majority of the cleaning, im a sahm but would be annoyed if dp did nothing round the house but plan meals and food shopping

Why has the op disappeared?

Why has the op disappeared?

Eaten by a dust bunny?

and the OP disappears

THERES A THING

its a man of course

Dust bunnies exist in our house under the open plan stair case in an inaccessible (with the hoover) place. Mainly because we have pets. They get sucked up once a week or so.
Our loo gets the once over every day. However, this does not prevent my two boys from pissing on the floor/seat and leaving shreds of paper on the floor when they tear it from the roll. The next person using the loo is lucky enough to discover this normally. (me, and I will tell them off and tidy)
It doesn't make my house filthy or disgusting. Perhaps temporarily a bit niffy but not a health hazard.
I have no sinks of dirty washing up, mouldy cups under beds or minging stuff in the fridge.
Just family traffic creating wear and tear.

I was wondering if the OP could afford a cleaning company to come in a do a one off deep clean. Then her and her OH could both try and make sure the house was kept clean.

One of my favourite program's on TV is Hoarders (CBS). I swear if ever I need to find the energy to clean the house I just watch one episode of this program and I'm itching to clean up.

If the house really needs a good sort out I do it when OH takes DS out for the day. It's pretty much impossible in my house to clean with my son. It's such an effort for zero satisfaction.

I find some of the answers on here rather depressing given the survey mumsnet have just done on the splitting of household chores.

Maybe that was the point?

What survey? I missed it.

here

I didn't know there was a survey but even if I had, I wouldn't have bothered reading it.. Really a survey, on this! Sorry MNHQ I would rather watch paint dry!

Merly, do you not get your boys to clean up their own spills and paper related mess?

DS left a mess in the bathroom once. Cleaning it up miraculously taught him to aim into the loo.

I would disgust me if I had dust bunnies I move all my furniture every week or so to clean under it and clean my bathroom every day. I think it's gross not to clean the bathroom daily and would die where I stood if someone told me my loo smelled bad.

As for mouldy stuff in the fridge WTF that is filthy and disgusting and lazy.

How was he drinking before OP? Sounds like going cold turkey off the booze is causing him to over react about things that would have bothered him before.

I've been grumbling about our house being grimy and disgusting, lately. I've been unwell and found it impossible to keep on top of the laundry, dusting and bathroom (apart from the loo, which has been scrubbed several times a day!) It soon builds up.

Back when I was a young mum struggling with job, baby etc my husband told me several times that the house was dirty, I told him houseproud women didn't like sex as it wasted energy they could use cleaning the house. He never said anything again. By the way back then the men I knew really didn't do housework, childcare or cooking.

Apologies to all houseproud women.but it stopped him stressing me out.

Maybe setting a weekend aside where dc go to the GPs and you and Dh do a full on clean - clear stuff out, pull out furniture and clean behind, sort through clutter etc so you start afresh then every few months do the same - he can keep on top of it mostly but it is depressing when you are working hard but the big /spring clean that needs to be done is too much - that you should share and it can be done in one big push together - you may have lower tolerances but he doesn't - it wouldn't hurt you to help him get it to his standards so he doesn't feel like this - it obviously bothers him and it is your dirt too.

Dust bunnies are the piles of dust that become like a ball of fluff - we have wooden floors and they collect behind the sofa right at the back when I pull it out to do under - nowadays it is also a haven for lost toys

Ps I Hoover daily