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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to mind DP saying our house is 'disgusting' and 'filthy'

122 replies

Meanderer · 12/10/2014 14:29

Caveat - he does the majority of the cleaning (including bins and also washing up) because I do most of the other housework (childcare, food planning and shopping, cooking, admin you all know what I mean!)

..so it's not so much that he's criticising ME - although I can't help but feel that a little maybe in either his and/or my subconscious that's part of what bothers me.

..but that he's calling our home - in front of our daughter - filthy and disgusting..

OP posts:

googoodolly · 12/10/2014 15:13

Why is he the only one cleaning? I don't think it's fair that he's doing all that, even if you are doing other things.

I also wouldn't want to live in a dusty house with smelly toilets. Maybe this is his way of asking you to do some of the cleaning too? I certainly wouldn't be happy if I was the one cleaning the toilets and vacuuming/dusting all the time.

Artandco · 12/10/2014 15:14

If house is covered with dust and toilets unclean then it is ' filthy and disgusting' IMO

Only1scoop · 12/10/2014 15:16

Can't you both muck in a bit with it.....

Sounds like he wants to get it sorted but is bewildered by the scale of clear up

VermillionPorcupine · 12/10/2014 15:17

What are 'dust bunnies'?

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 15:19

Have you actually discussed and agreed who does what or did he just get stuck with 'cleaning & dishes' while you do the cooking?

VermillionPorcupine · 12/10/2014 15:19

If the toilet smells that really is disgusting. I've just cleaned our whole bathroom top to toe this morning, and it took me 15 minutes. That included bleaching and scrubbing the toilet and around it. It's the easiest room by far to clean IMO, takes no time at all...so not to do it is really lazy IMO.

Only1scoop · 12/10/2014 15:20

I was going to ask what a dust bunny might be....do you keep them in a hutch?

Nancy66 · 12/10/2014 15:21

I wasn't sure what a dust bunny was either.
amused at trying to make dust sound cute though.

Bit like a 'turd pixie'

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 12/10/2014 15:24

Dust bunnies are big balls of dust and hair and fluff

LineRunner · 12/10/2014 15:24

It sounds like neither of you is doing the actual cleaning. Do you split by agreement who does hoovering / dusting / sweeping / cleaning the bath and loo(s)?

Someone has to do them, if only ccasionally.

Only1scoop · 12/10/2014 15:25

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 12/10/2014 15:25

Yeah bathrooms are dead easy. Spray cleaning stuff, then wash everything with the shower then dry it all with a towel. 5mins!

VermillionPorcupine · 12/10/2014 15:25

Dust bunnies (or dustbunnies), also called dust mice, are small clumps of dust that form under furniture and in corners that are not cleaned regularly. They are made of hair, lint, dead skin, spider webs, dust, and sometimes light rubbish and debris, and are held together by static electricity and felt-like entanglement

From Wiki. Google some pictures of them...bleughh.

Op I've no doubt there are probably a few dust bunnies hiding under my sofa, right at the back next to the wall. But if you have a lot of them all around the house...sorry but that's rank.

LeBearPolar · 12/10/2014 15:26

A dust bunny is when there's so much dust on the floor that it gathers in little 'clumps' - so you might see them blowing around if there's a draught.

Wiki says: They are made of hair, lint, dead skin, spider webs, dust, and sometimes light rubbish and debris, and are held together by static electricity and felt-like entanglement.

so your husband might have a reasonable point...

gamerchick · 12/10/2014 15:28

Dust bunny's are what you find under the bed or behind bedroom furniture.. just big rolls of dust.

Op just muck in with him. 2 people whizzing about means it's done in half the time.

skylark2 · 12/10/2014 15:34

Toilets have to be really very grim to smell - far, far beyond "oh look a bit of limescale" or even "oh look a bit of staining". Plenty of limescale on bathroom fittings in our house, and a fair few dust bunnies behind the loo and sink too. They don't smell.

I think I'd be pretty disheartened if my share of the household tasks was all the cleaning and my DP did all the more constructive ones.

Nanny0gg · 12/10/2014 15:35

It all depends on perspective - it's mostly what I would call 'clean dirt'

Therein lies the problem...

Fairenuff · 12/10/2014 15:51

OP I think your dh has a point, it does sound as if your house is filthy.

helenthemadex · 12/10/2014 15:56

sounds a bit grim to me, but each to their own personally I feel much calmer when my house is clean and tidy.

A few people I knew had really dirty houses, we are talking dust cows not bunnies, one of them worked away a lot and her priority was spending time with her kids when she was home not scrubbing the floors, the other was just a lazy mare.

joanofarchitrave · 12/10/2014 15:58

If you are the main cleaner, then that makes it very hard to relax when the house is dirty, even if it's only small patches.

I'm an appalling housekeeper, and dh is not much better, so I know from filthy and disgusting. Smelly loos and dust bunnies are a regular feature of our lovely home. So YABU. And if I were you I would ask him if he wants a reordering of the housework. If he were doing all the laundry and all the cleaning and doing it properly, that would be more than the shopping and cooking.

ithoughtofitfirst · 12/10/2014 16:04

I once asked if I could use my friend's toilet because I was desperate but her house was pretty grim so I was really dreading it. Nothing prepared me for what happened next. I walked into the bathroom and it was like something from a horror movie. I could practically hear the scratchy violins and flies buzzing.

The toilet, which had no seat, was so covered in piss, shit and blood that I couldn't make out what colour it was supposed to be. The flush was completely rusty and falling off. I had to hover so I put my hands on the walls either side of me for support only to end up touching filthy greasy dust slime off the picture rails or whatever they're called.

In front of me was a bin overflowing with cans of fosters, crisp packets, fag ends and a lump of brown phlegm that was dripping onto the floor beside it. The sink had one working tap, no soap and a lump of hair wound round the plughole. The only towel was doubled up as a bath mat and absolutely soaked through.

I bet your house is fine OP.

wheresthelight · 12/10/2014 16:06

sorry but if you have dust bunnies and smelly toilets then it is filthy and disgusting do Yabvu to have an issue with his terminology.

I regularly refer to my own home in these terms when I have gone on strike because dp is a lazy sod where housework is concerned.

formerbabe · 12/10/2014 16:15

that pool of mouldy stuff in the bottom of the fridge that occasionally appears.

It doesn't HAVE to appear you know... You can prevent it!

ChippingInLatteLover · 12/10/2014 16:16

That's a low bar ithought.

Only1scoop · 12/10/2014 16:17

I don't think I could live in your house .

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