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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to do the school run the day after giving birth?

85 replies

CloudiaPickle · 09/10/2014 22:26

DH has two DC from a previous marriage, I have one from previous marriage, we have one toddler together and I'm almost due with technically DC5. DH has booked paternity leave for half-term so we can have my DSC and they can get to bond with their new sibling. This means it's likely I'll have DC5 then be doing the school run the following day(s) as DH will be back at work.

With DC4, I had her at 10 pm and did the school run in the morning. DH was there too but didn't especially need to be - I would've been fine alone (DD wanted her new sibling to take her to school/meet her teacher and friends.) I appreciate this birth may be different so long as it doesn't end up being a c-section, I'm sure I'll be fine.

When I told my friend that DH has booked his paternity leave this way, she was outraged and saying he's putting my DSC first. When I insisted I am fine with it, she said I'm being a martyr and will 'do myself damage'...!

AIBU to think that plenty of people just get on with things after giving birth, assuming they're willing and able, and to do just that?

OP posts:

OhBabyLilyMunster · 09/10/2014 22:28

Just have a plan b in case

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 09/10/2014 22:29

I had quite a few stitches after I gave birth and couldn't walk comfortably for a few days.

Not saying you can't do it but have some cash and taxi numbers handy, just in case.

Littlebluebutterflies · 09/10/2014 22:30

If you are happy with the plan, and fit enough go for it but as OhBaby says, have a contingency plan in place.

jamtoast12 · 09/10/2014 22:31

I agree with you. I was showered, dressed and gone within 6 hours of my dd2s birth and out feeding the ducks 8 hours after. Everyone is different. I could never stay in pjs past e.g, 9am even if I'd been up all night! I also had a normal birth, no issues so felt fine. With the exceptions of difficult births of course, I think your own personality affects how you respond in this early days. We took dd1 the fair when dd2 was 3 days old!

2kidsintow · 09/10/2014 22:32

I went home the day after having DD2 and did the school run the day after that (mostly to show off the fact that I'd had DD2 :) ) but I was very tired after doing it. And it takes longer to get over slight SPD than I expected so I couldn't walk as fast as I expected (and yes I had a few stitches too).

trice · 09/10/2014 22:32

I think it is up to you. If you feel fit enough to cope alone with a newborn and a toddler and do the school run you would be unusual in my experience. I think that if you are lucky enough to have a super easy birth and very healthy baby then suit yourself.

wigglylines · 09/10/2014 22:33

YANBU to do the school run if you feel like it and want to, the day after giving birth.

However, YABU to expect that you will be doing the school run the day after giving birth and to make that the only plan.

Like the others have said, have a proper plan B!

HonoraryOctonaut · 09/10/2014 22:34

I did the school run the day after I had DS4 (lack of choice as I'm a single parent) and it really wiped me out tbh. But, I was doing everything alone, had a non sleeping toddler, plus newborn, housework, cooking etc - will your DH be supportive when he is around? Will you be able to get some rest, have a bath etc so it doesn't all build up to much?

ShatnersBassoon · 09/10/2014 22:35

Play it by ear. Chances are your plans will work out, but remember you might be in labour on a school morning. Your husband may have to alter his plans.

meglet · 09/10/2014 22:35

I don't think it's a good idea, your body needs to recover, even from an 'easy' birth. I much prefer the idea of a fortnight of pj's and biscuits while eating ready meals. Taxis if you have to, but back on the sofa when you get in.

I certainly didn't get on with things after my sections.

SoonToBeSix · 09/10/2014 22:35

Why won't your dh still be off? Is your half term two weeks?

VermillionPorcupine · 09/10/2014 22:35

Tbh I think you're being a bit silly.

You don't know how you'll be feeling, you may have a bad birth, the baby may be struggling to feed and screaming constantly...you may be still in hospital for a day or two.

I would try and get a plan in place on the assumption that you won't be doing the school run for a few days...better to plan unnecessarily than find yourself stuck.

Delphiniumsblue · 09/10/2014 22:35

I would get a friend to do it.

wigglylines · 09/10/2014 22:36

"I think your own personality affects how you respond in this early days."

What did my personality have to do with the tear, stitching and resulting pain of walking?!

(Tearing is considered pretty normal IIRC, not a "difficult" birth)

Delphiniumsblue · 09/10/2014 22:36

Even if you don't intend to ask a friend you definitely need one in the background in case you need plan B

sunnyrosegarden · 09/10/2014 22:37

Yes, have a plan b in case.

The day after ds2 was born, dh and a neighbour were stressing over a burst water pipe and forgot to pick up ds1 from nursery. I reminded a couple of times, them just got in the car and picked him up myself.

jamtoast12 · 09/10/2014 22:37

Wiggly

That's why I said difficult births aside.....

Idontseeanysontarans · 09/10/2014 22:37

I did it after 3 days and regretted it, even though I felt fine, pretty much sailed through labour and had no stitches a 20 minute gentle walk to school and back bloody hurt!
Be careful and have a plan b.

PiggyPlumPie · 09/10/2014 22:38

I did it with DD3 - mainly to show her off!

Felt absolutely fine but I did have options available. Best to have a back up plan!

purpleroses · 09/10/2014 22:38

When I had my DC (not that many years ago) men didn't get paternity leave, and even now employers can force them to pre-book the dates if they need them to. So I don't think it's automatic that all new mums have a partner around for the first two weeks.

But that said I'd probably see if a friend could be available if necessary to do the school run for a day or two in case you're not up to it, or stuck in hospital.

VermillionPorcupine · 09/10/2014 22:43

With ds1 I was taken into hospital with possible pre-eclampsia at 37 weeks to be induced, so dh started his paternity.

Two weeks later, dh went back to work and I was discharged...39 weeks pregnant, after 8 failed inductions.

He was lucky that he had a nice manager who allowed him to take a weeks holiday at no notice when my 9th induction actually worked.

SaucyJack · 09/10/2014 22:43

I've always been up and about very soon after all 3 of mine. No one has died yet.

The likelihood of anything going awry after a couple of normal births and a healthy pregnancy is very unlikely- but do have a plan b just in case.

Shedding · 09/10/2014 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bakingtins · 09/10/2014 22:46

I had a v quick labour with Dc3, no tears, felt fine the day after....and was stuck in hospital for 5 days due to unexpected problems with baby. You need a plan B.

DancingDinosaur · 09/10/2014 22:48

Yanbu to do that if you feel up to it. I did. But you might not be able to. Its down to luck really. But if everything goes well and you feel ok then theres no problem with that. But its always good to have a back up plan just in case.

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