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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to do the school run the day after giving birth?

85 replies

CloudiaPickle · 09/10/2014 22:26

DH has two DC from a previous marriage, I have one from previous marriage, we have one toddler together and I'm almost due with technically DC5. DH has booked paternity leave for half-term so we can have my DSC and they can get to bond with their new sibling. This means it's likely I'll have DC5 then be doing the school run the following day(s) as DH will be back at work.

With DC4, I had her at 10 pm and did the school run in the morning. DH was there too but didn't especially need to be - I would've been fine alone (DD wanted her new sibling to take her to school/meet her teacher and friends.) I appreciate this birth may be different so long as it doesn't end up being a c-section, I'm sure I'll be fine.

When I told my friend that DH has booked his paternity leave this way, she was outraged and saying he's putting my DSC first. When I insisted I am fine with it, she said I'm being a martyr and will 'do myself damage'...!

AIBU to think that plenty of people just get on with things after giving birth, assuming they're willing and able, and to do just that?

OP posts:

notquiteruralbliss · 10/10/2014 22:26

Sounds a reasonable plan if things go well. I Pretty much always did similar. With DD 1, the people we hired the birth pool from were surprised that I returned it myself, the day after the birth (on the way to ikea). With DD2, I took DD1to nursery the next morning. However, for DD3 (a home birth) I had retained piece of placenta and spent the day after the bith in hospital, having IV antibiotics. As others have said, have a plan B.

Purplepixiedust · 10/10/2014 22:37

If you feel fine thats great, why not, but you do need a plan B. Either DH to be available if needed or else could you arrange for another school mum to be on standby?

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 10/10/2014 22:51

You need a back up. Day 2 with DC3 I was on top of the world and running around. Day 4 I passed a massive clot, , almost fainted and had to go to bed for 3 hours...

Frikadellen · 10/10/2014 22:56

I did school run on day 2 of dd3 being born.. I didnt do day 3 and 4 (when my milk came in I cant cope with that well)

it was fine However I was very tired and it was hectic to get it all sorted.

Lean on friends and have back up plans

Kato77 · 10/10/2014 23:30

I have 2 * DCs and could easily have done a school run after both of them. Think all the excitement and adrenaline of birth gave me extra energy.

I do think your friend is being a bit over dramatic.

And I totally understand why you want to say your DH paternity leave for family half term bonding. In the long term this is far more important than what happens on the school run.

However I agree that you need a plan B and am sure you have one as otherwise if things don't go well on the school runs this could overshadow your kama for half term bonding.

WorraLiberty · 10/10/2014 23:35

How could you possibly be unreasonable, if you're up to it then you can do it.

If you're not and you don't have a plan B, just keep the kids off school until you can sort an alternative.

VenusRising · 10/10/2014 23:48

Why don't you ask one of the school mums to take your little one to school and home, if you feel like sending her.
If I was in any doubt that I could do the school run, and had no one to help out, I would keep her home. Just give her some school work to do at home while you recover..

I think your friend has a point, and i certainly would have been horrified to even think of jumping up and bringing babe out. But then I've not had easy births.

The Chinese think a mother has a month after the birth to get her own health back, and any illness or coldness picked up in this month will stay with the mother forever. They use this month to cure ailments the mother has, and would be horrified to hear that the mother's feet even touched the floor during this special time.
Dr Xiaolan Zhou wrote a very interesting book about it.

There's something in that I think. We are not beasts of burden after all.

Good luck!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 11/10/2014 00:03

You need a plan B, the baby won't mind being out and about but your body isn't going to thank you for it, I'm convinced the attitude of trying ti carry on as if nothing has happened immediately after birth is one of the reasons so many women end up with damaged pelvic floors, incontinence, prolapses etc, you need your rest to allow your body to recover.

looneytune · 11/10/2014 00:15

DS2 was born at home and I went on the school run 24 hours later as felt fine, was buzzing and DS1 really wanted to show off his baby brother. His teacher asked if I was ok and I said yes then about a minute later came over all funny very suddenly (she must have seen my colour go before I'd noticed). Luckily DH was with us as there is no way I'd have managed to get back to the car!

So I'd say there is nothing wrong with the idea but you should really try and have a plan b and if you do end up doing the school run, it would be a good idea to have a friend with you if possible as you just never know (I honestly felt absolutely fine until it happened!).

Good luck :)

Sapat · 11/10/2014 00:20

My DH did not take his paternity leave straight after the baby was born but he did drop off the kids to school every morning for the first week and work an extra hour or so in the evening I make up the difference. By all means do the school run of you fancy it, just have a back up plan. It is hard to make such arrangements from a hospital in case you or the baby are not well.

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