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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to do the school run the day after giving birth?

85 replies

CloudiaPickle · 09/10/2014 22:26

DH has two DC from a previous marriage, I have one from previous marriage, we have one toddler together and I'm almost due with technically DC5. DH has booked paternity leave for half-term so we can have my DSC and they can get to bond with their new sibling. This means it's likely I'll have DC5 then be doing the school run the following day(s) as DH will be back at work.

With DC4, I had her at 10 pm and did the school run in the morning. DH was there too but didn't especially need to be - I would've been fine alone (DD wanted her new sibling to take her to school/meet her teacher and friends.) I appreciate this birth may be different so long as it doesn't end up being a c-section, I'm sure I'll be fine.

When I told my friend that DH has booked his paternity leave this way, she was outraged and saying he's putting my DSC first. When I insisted I am fine with it, she said I'm being a martyr and will 'do myself damage'...!

AIBU to think that plenty of people just get on with things after giving birth, assuming they're willing and able, and to do just that?

OP posts:
IdaClair · 09/10/2014 22:49

I did just that, and as you say, no-one died. I really enjoyed it in fact and the children at the school were entranced as one day I was pregnant, next there was a baby there, eighteen hours old or something daft. They all had a stroke of baby's head and it was lovely, it was nice weather, showed the baby the sky etc.

But it might not be lovely and you might not want to, and that is Ok too. It is reasonable to do as you feel the day after giving birth.

VermillionPorcupine · 09/10/2014 22:53

Is it just me that still keeps a newborn inside for a while after birth? Or is that just a terribly old-fashioned view?

Everyone seems to be out and about out of choice within a few hours or a day or two...as far as I remember I kept both of mine in for at least a couple of weeks.

SocksRock · 09/10/2014 22:57

I did it. She was born at 4.20pm
Sunday afternoon in hospital after an induction and a 45 minute start to finish labour. Home on sofa eating curry by 8pm. I didn't walk the kids to school in the morning, but I did walk (slowly) to get them that afternoon.

DefiniteMaybe · 09/10/2014 22:58

I think it depends on the school run as well as how easy your labour is.
It takes me 6 minutes to get from my house to school, drop off the dc and get back home. And that is at 35 weeks pregnant. It's not a difficult school run and I'm hoping to be taking them to and from school asap after giving birth.

I do have a back up plan though, my mum is off work for the week after I give birth and is willing to do all school runs in that time if I want/need her to.

Original poster
CloudiaPickle · 09/10/2014 22:59

I don't have that choice, vermillion - not that I'd want to. It's just DH and I. If I have to be in hospital, he'd have to be off with the other two DC. If I'm home, he needs to be at work. There's no one else to fall back on.

OP posts:
Original poster
CloudiaPickle · 09/10/2014 23:00

My school run is over two miles so I'd be driving or getting a taxi if I couldn't drive.

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 09/10/2014 23:00

Make sure you have a back up, and your friend may have a point.

TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 09/10/2014 23:02

I wouldn't even worry about it at this point. I did the school run with both DC3 and 4 within 24 hours of giving birth, but only because I was on a complete high and felt fine doing it. If I'd not felt up to it, I would have just stayed at home. Neither time was planned, I just went with the flow (in every sense of the word Grin )

TheWholeOfTheSpoon · 09/10/2014 23:04

Actually, sorry! I didn't read the op properly! Can you break the paternity leave so that he is around the first 2 days or so and then has the rest when the SKs are around?

trashcanjunkie · 09/10/2014 23:05

Well, if all goes to plan and you feel up to it, I think it's a lovely idea. I did the school run three days after twins and it was really nice, everyone wanted to see the babies.

Years ago I remember my Auntie having dc3. She walked the older dc's in to school in the morning, went into hospital, had my cousin, and was out to pick them up at 3.15 Shock

It was just what she wanted to do...

EvilRingahBitch · 09/10/2014 23:06

You're not unreasonable to do it if you feel up to it, not at all, but you'd be unreasonable not to have a plan b just in case you don't.

FraidyCat · 09/10/2014 23:09

It must be late, for some reason "school run" translated in my head into participating in a mini-marathon.

purpleroses · 09/10/2014 23:09

Taxis will do school runs for you without you going with them if necessary. My DD used to get one on the odd occasion when she was 8. Ask the school whether there are any local companies they recommend. They should be able to send a driver who's CRB checked. After school your DCs can do to the school office and meet the taxi driver there.

Amammi · 09/10/2014 23:09

Do you intend on driving? You may not be covered by your insurance - best to check

JustSayNoNoNo · 09/10/2014 23:09

You are clearly expecting DC5 to arrive before half-term. Is it possible for your DH to take a day or two's leave to cover the day you give birth (could be a long day / evening birth) and the day after?

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 09/10/2014 23:15

I haemorrhaged after both births and had a hospital stay and long recoveries. You can't predict what happens so have a plan B. I couldn't have done a school run, I could barely walk.

redredread · 09/10/2014 23:19

Sounds pretty exhausting to me. Unless you have to do this, I'd try to make other arrangements. Good luck with the birth.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 09/10/2014 23:21

Why wouldn't you be covered by car insurance for a bog standard birth? C-section, maybe yes because iirc you're advised not to drive for however long, but no issue vaginal birth? Can't see the problem tbh.

DD was the only one where I had other DC in school. DSs school was a drive away and DH doesn't, so I was doing the school run from the day after DD's birth (I went home 6 hours after she was born too - obviously dicing with danger!) I took DD the first time, when she would have been an entire 23 hours old, and then left her with DH for all the others until he went back to work.

There's no right or wrong - if you feel up to it, fine, if you don't well that's fine too.

maddening · 09/10/2014 23:22

So long as you have a plan b then see how you feel.

fatlazymummy · 09/10/2014 23:29

Someone I know went to a party in the evening, after giving birth in the morning.
vermillion I never heard of that before, keeping a newborn indoors for 2 weeks. My midwife told me not to go out for 3 days, but that was supposedly for my benefit, not the babies.

Cardriver · 09/10/2014 23:34

I had DD2 at 2am and then took DD1 to nursery at 9am (with XH and new baby) just because I wanted to.

I had DD3 at 5am so I didn't do the school run that day. It was winter and I didn't want to go out Grin

Your plan sounds fine OP and plan B can be your DD having a day off school. Problem solved!

Faacksake · 09/10/2014 23:40

Course your not BU if you feel upto it.

I did the 3.15 school run after DS was born at 6am.

Mind you I also snuck out for a fag three hours post Caesarian. So I'm probably not the best judge.

figgieroll · 09/10/2014 23:45

I think you're being silly too. You should be relaxing and bonding after giving birth.

BaffledSomeMore · 09/10/2014 23:51

Birth #1 yes I was home within a few hours and could have done stuff
The next two not so well.

As many pp have said you need a plan b

wobblyweebles · 10/10/2014 03:09

I found the afterpains got worse with each baby, after my third I'd probably have collapsed if I'd done the school run next day.

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