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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to do the school run the day after giving birth?

85 replies

CloudiaPickle · 09/10/2014 22:26

DH has two DC from a previous marriage, I have one from previous marriage, we have one toddler together and I'm almost due with technically DC5. DH has booked paternity leave for half-term so we can have my DSC and they can get to bond with their new sibling. This means it's likely I'll have DC5 then be doing the school run the following day(s) as DH will be back at work.

With DC4, I had her at 10 pm and did the school run in the morning. DH was there too but didn't especially need to be - I would've been fine alone (DD wanted her new sibling to take her to school/meet her teacher and friends.) I appreciate this birth may be different so long as it doesn't end up being a c-section, I'm sure I'll be fine.

When I told my friend that DH has booked his paternity leave this way, she was outraged and saying he's putting my DSC first. When I insisted I am fine with it, she said I'm being a martyr and will 'do myself damage'...!

AIBU to think that plenty of people just get on with things after giving birth, assuming they're willing and able, and to do just that?

OP posts:
MrsMook · 10/10/2014 04:54

Have a plan B. A good history is a promising sign, not a guarantee.

I barely left the house for a month as a 3rd degree tear and worsened SPD reduced me to crawling up the stairs. Sitting in a car was agony. Driving, impossible for sitting and ability to use brake and accelerator. A very different recovery to my Emcs. Just as inconvenient. With that I was too weak to do anything for a month. It took 3 weeks to have the stability to carry baby down the stairs as I needed both hands for support.

I hope you have no such issues, and can resume normalit quickly.

Tealady1983 · 10/10/2014 04:58

My dc2 was born at 4pm home at 1030pm and school run next morning which is a 2mile walk dh was with me though we just took t slow Grin

Flangeshrub · 10/10/2014 05:22

I was up and walking out the house the day of and after my 3 DC. I had vaginal births (and stitches) though.

I do think agree with the pp who said it's a personality thing - some new mums want to stay indoors and feel uncomfortable about taking their babies outside.

I've always felt amazing (barring my fanny) and wanted to show off my baby.

You need a backup - you never know if you'll need a CS or lose a lot of blood.

OwlWearingSunglasses · 10/10/2014 07:47

It's not an endurance test - your body has just been through one of the most stressful experiences ever! Just because you feel you can doesn't mean that you should.

It's October - we are currently having torrential rain and high winds. Are you really proposing to take a newborn out in that?

You definitely need plan b.

steppemum · 10/10/2014 07:56

with dc1 I was to sore and still in hospital

With dc2 I could have done ot is necessary

with dc3 I was up and out of the door and fine and would have breezed it.

Really depends on the birth, and if the school run means getting in the car or walking 1 mile.

Have a back up plan

Chunderella · 10/10/2014 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Delphiniumsblue · 10/10/2014 08:05

Since you have to have a back up plan you might as well be kind to yourself and make it plan A, then you can just relax.

ItsFunnierInEnochian · 10/10/2014 08:09

Have a Plan B.

A few days after I had DD2 I mentioned to the MW that I had walked to the local Co-Op, about 5 mins away, with baby, left toddler at home with now exDP to get some fresh air and got a massive bollocking! The birth was totally normal no stitches no grazes nothing and she was not happy. I was very Hmm

nipersvest · 10/10/2014 08:12

if you feel up to it, go for it. i gave birth to ds on a saturday lunchtime, monday morning i was doing the nursery run with him and dd in tow.

JustShakeitoff · 10/10/2014 09:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

specialsubject · 10/10/2014 10:27

normally a 2 mile school 'run' should be a walk, not a drive.

but not just after giving birth even in the best of circumstances.

book taxis for a few days, you can always cancel if not needed.

TheWitTank · 10/10/2014 10:56

Everybody and every birth is different.

With my second child I was up and out of the hospital in a few hours, pottering about and I walked the dog for some fresh air when I got home. I was slightly sore but felt fine. I was on a trampoline with DD next day (not advisable!!!). With my first I was really tired and just wanted to rest for a few days with my feet up.

I think having a back up plan would be a good idea.

grocklebox · 10/10/2014 10:57

I did it with dc3. No reason you shouldn't if you feel like it.

Whats with all the keeping babies inside for weeks and "you're not thinking of taking a baby outside in October are you?" stuff? You know babies aren't made of paper, right? I can't imagine what you think will happen.

Spindarella · 10/10/2014 11:04

I had easy, straightforward births with not a single stitch. I was up and about immediately. However, what i noticed was the more active I was, the more I bled which in turn made me feel yucky.

Driving to school, parking, short walk to school then back to the car - you're talking what, 15 minutes of activity? You'll be fine if the birth was ok. Do have a plan b though - nothing is guaranteed.

notjustamom · 10/10/2014 11:08

I had a c-section and went back to school a week later. So i'd say its alright but you dont want to overdo it.

mrssnodge · 10/10/2014 11:14

After having Dd1 I was fine, on a high, full of energy-after dd2 i was ill, couldnt have done anything , retained placenta and other complications -I had Ds on a Sat night, and had to take DD 's to school on Mon Morning as now EXH was starting brand new job that day!! had no choice- it was hard, being awake half the night, then up getting girls ready for school and out the door with a brand new baby in January-didnt drive then so had to walk- didnt thnk much of it at the time, didnt have time to reflect, however my DD's have now both got babies and are horrified at the thought of having to do that! ha ha!!

HavanaSlife · 10/10/2014 11:26

As long as you have a plan b, I would have been fine with ds2, ds3 not a chance!

Pooseyfrumpture · 10/10/2014 11:38

I did it with DC3 and 4 (not twins) - the older DC wanted it, I was fine. I'd already been out to the GP the afternoon before.

Plan B was me driving there and someone else walking the kids in from the car park.

Tbh it was more difficult by week 2/3 when the shattering tiredness kicked in Wink

Greenrug85 · 10/10/2014 11:42

If you are well enough and had a straight forward birth I see no problem.

I had masses of stitches and could barely walk ten feet!

motherinferior · 10/10/2014 11:48

I have to say the very idea makes me feel faint.

YonicScrewdriver · 10/10/2014 11:59

"employers can force them to pre-book the dates if they need them to"

I don't think this is true. It's true for parental leave but not paternity.

I too think it would be better for your DH to take one week/2-3 days if paternity now and the rest at half term.

YonicScrewdriver · 10/10/2014 12:01

Btw, I would totally help out a classmate's mum in this situation, even if it involved driving to pick a child up when I normally walked etc - have you looked at that?

whattheseithakasmean · 10/10/2014 12:05

I agree with having a Plan B. I was always fine after giving birth - last one was a home birth & I was up feeding the ponies the next day.

But if you have a more difficult birth, it may not be possible, so you need a fall back position.

I hope you have a straightforward one and you can get on with things after, as you plan to.

wheretogoto · 10/10/2014 12:06

But who is going to be looking after your dc while you are in hospital giving birth? Surely they can do the school run?

DD1 I gave birth at midnight and was not ready to come home til the afternoon due to some checks that needed to be done.

DS2 I went into labour in the afternoon, so dropped DD1 at a friend on the way to the hospital so she could stay there over night. I was not back home til after the school run the next day!

YonicScrewdriver · 10/10/2014 12:08

Think OP will only have the baby and DD that day, the others are DSCs.

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