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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Im not benefit bashing but AIBU to think this is a bloody joke??

122 replies

Candyflosshair · 07/10/2014 10:46

NC for this. My sister is 29, she is living with my mum, pays no bills, rent, food or anything and is currently pregnant. She gets £60 pw in JSA (soon to be IS) and the baby's dad has a high paying job, although they don't live together/ aren't together.
She has recently been given a £500 grant from the government as she is on benefits and pregnant. Today she has told me her grants come through and she's on her way to buy an iPhone 6 with this money plus the extra JSA she doesn't use/need.
I no it is more a moral situation but I can't see woman queuing up to reject £500 for nothing..
AIBU to think this is a joke

OP posts:
niceguy2 · 07/10/2014 10:49

The only joke here is your sister who is using the very little money she has been kindly given by the taxpayer to blow on a luxury item.

In this instance the only thing wrong is your sister's attitude.

KnackeredMuchly · 07/10/2014 10:49

The 500 is for baby things. She'll buy them eventually

jacks365 · 07/10/2014 10:50

She'll regret the iphone 6 when she needs to buy baby things.

Original poster
Candyflosshair · 07/10/2014 10:53

My mums already bought everything for the Baby.. She's got top of the range everything and her sons set with a wardrobe up to 1 year!

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 07/10/2014 10:54

I don't see how we can have a benefit system that is there to help people when they genuinely need it without a bit of responsibility on the public not to claim things that don't need.

Your sister shouldn't be getting money from the government to buy an iPhone when doesn't need it, but that means she should have the common decency not to claim it, not that the money shouldn't be available to people who need it.

angelos02 · 07/10/2014 10:56

Eh? You get a grant for being pregnant and on benefits? Can I have some free money for not getting pregnant and saving the taxpayer 10's of thousands of pounds in education and NHS? Ta

Pootles2010 · 07/10/2014 10:56

Well then she's very lucky, but that money would be desperately needed by a lot of families.

LaurieFairyCake · 07/10/2014 10:59

This is nothing to do with benefits

She would need this money if your mum wasn't an idiot and charged her for food and told her her to buy her own baby things

Sounds like you've a beef with your mum

KnackeredMuchly · 07/10/2014 11:00

Well because she's in a fortunate situation* other mothers on benefits shouldn't be able to buy a pram, cot etc?

*I actually think it's very sad your parents aren't encouraging her independence and not fortunate at all really

SaucyJack · 07/10/2014 11:01

It's your mum's fault for bankrolling her then. Not the government's fault for trying to prevent child poverty.

ChippingInLatteLover · 07/10/2014 11:01

It is a bloody joke, but unfortunately it's difficult to make sure those that need help get it & those that don't, don't.

I hope your Mum does as much for you, but I suspect not :(

Momagain1 · 07/10/2014 11:02

She is a benefits cheat. Sadly, a certain number of them will always be present no matter how tightly regulated and limited the benefit system is. The very same story, living in parents home, no income, no support from father, often needs at least as much as that £500. i would hate for women whose parents struggle enough without her to have to be vetted on her behalf, you know?

The dad needs chasing up though. Seriously.

sillymillyb · 07/10/2014 11:03

I got this grant when I was single, living with my mum and pregnant.

My ex had left me for another woman, I had no where to live and I was utterly devastated, shell shocked, broke, terrified by the future.

Is your problem with the grant and benefits or the way your sister is behaving? Because to me they seem like too completely different issues? Walk a mile in someone's shoes and all that....

FreakinScaryCaaw · 07/10/2014 11:04

I had to re-read that she's 29. Your mum isn't doing her any favours at all.

LadyLuck10 · 07/10/2014 11:05

Yanbu. She doesn't do much for the stereotype does she.

LemonadeRayGun · 07/10/2014 11:05

But you could look at it like your mum has used the £500 for the baby stuff and bought your sister a new iPhone. Nothing wrong with that. There are many people who would need that money and it is impossible to factor in everyone's personal situations when deciding who gets it or not, can't exactly ask everyone "how much will your mum be buying for the baby?"

Your sister probably shouldn't have claimed it if she didn't need it, but come on, who would say no to a free £500? If your mum hadnt gifted her all the stuff then she would need it for the baby. It's not cheating the system to claim something you are entitled to even if at this moment in time you don't need it.

She will end up spending money on the baby at some point!

gobbynorthernbird · 07/10/2014 11:06

There will always be the odd person who doesn't need the cash. I suspect that they are so few and far between that it would cost more in admin to figure it out, than to give everyone this grant.

How many unemployed single parents do you think have no living costs whatsoever, and do not need to buy a single thing for their baby?

Mummytosurvivor25 · 07/10/2014 11:06

When my backdated benefits come through ( was a lot of 2 k )! I went out and bought my daughter luxeries and 2 for myself.
People would look at me like I was wasting there money away but tbh we had been left without nothing for 6 months , daughter was really ill and I was surviving on pennies a week so thought we deserved a treat.

HeeHiles · 07/10/2014 11:07

I agree with the others - benefits aren't the problem, your sisters attitude is!

My DP died in a car accident when I was pregnant, my LL evicted me and I got made redundant all in the space of 6 months, when I got the £500 grant it was to buy a cot, buggy, nappies - not fucking mobile phones!!! I'm afraid it's people like your sister who make it so tough for genuine claimants.

gordyslovesheep · 07/10/2014 11:08

Well she is entitled to it if she's on IS ... Plenty of people DO need that grant it's your mums choice to bankroll her

Kewcumber · 07/10/2014 11:10

Nothing to do with benefits, all down to your mum treating a pregnant 29 year old like an entitled child.

HeeHiles · 07/10/2014 11:10

but come on, who would say no to a free £500?

I would! If I didn't need to claim I wouldn't and I know plenty of people who don't claim all they are entitled to as they don't want/need to. Its a bit like stealing from a charity box to me!

Original poster
Candyflosshair · 07/10/2014 11:10

No no I completely agree that the grant should be available, I know allot of people who would need it and when I was pregnant, I would have appreciated it rather than taking out a bank loan which left me in allot of debt as I actually had less disposable income and my mum refused to help me, but as I worked I was rejected immediately. my issue is that it's just available freely without anything looking into. Literally a 'tick box', are you pregnant are you on benefits here's £500, and then they wonder why we are in debt. Yes it is down to the individual but they should check more into it as not everyone will reject £500 they don't necessarily need.

OP posts:
Preciousbane · 07/10/2014 11:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thereturnofshoesy · 07/10/2014 11:13

yabu
you are benefit bashing

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