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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 9.30pm is too late to bang on the door for a parcel

155 replies

ScrambledEggAndToast · 07/10/2014 07:02

I took in a parcel for a neighbour yesterday and she came round at 9.30pm to collect it. She knocked and I ignored it at first as I was in my pyjamas, she then started bashing on the letter box which set off the dog and woke up DS. I did then open it and gave it to her but fold her I thought it was too late. The dog then didn't calm down for 15 minutes and my son didn't get back to sleep for ages.

What do you reckon, is 9.30 too late on a weekday?

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 07/10/2014 15:48

Not too late imo, but I wouldn't knock on the door of a house in darkness.

treaclesoda · 07/10/2014 15:50

the OP didn't say she was afraid to open the door, just that she didn't open it because she was in her pyjamas, which isn't quite the same. Most front doors have a window or a peep hole somewhere, so there is no real need to be terrified if you can check out who it is first, although I do know that the OP hasn't specified if that is the case here.

I do think the neighbour was rude to not apologise when the OP said she thought it was too late. But on the other hand, the most likely explanation for her knocking too loudly is that she knew someone was inside and thought that they hadn't heard her knock. I mean, she might be an inconsiderate arse too, but most people are fairly decent really.

treaclesoda · 07/10/2014 15:53

although she certainly was an inconsiderate arse not to apologise once it had been pointed out to her.

Original poster
ScrambledEggAndToast · 07/10/2014 17:25

Sorry for leaving the thread, had to go to work. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks it's too late. I definitely won't be taking in her parcels again!!

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 07/10/2014 17:29

Yes, it's too late. Rude of her!

I never go to bed myself until after 11, but I know lots of people go much earlier. I'd never knock on a neighbour's door after about 8, except in an emergency.

LL12 · 07/10/2014 18:14

9.30pm is too late

Aherdofmims · 07/10/2014 18:48

Yes too late.

Not so bad to knock once but when she didn't get an answer she should have been aware it was late and gone away.

whatever5 · 07/10/2014 20:21

I don't think that 9.30 would be too late for most people but if your lights were off she shouldn't have knocked. She was very rude to start bashing the letterbox when you didn't answer. Clearly she would prefer it if people didn't take parcels for her so I wouldn't bother next time.

poohbunny · 07/10/2014 20:34

Agree too late - plenty of people set off for work well before 7.00am and are ready for bed by 9.00pm!

We've known charity collectors knock as late as 9.00pm when it's winter and dark and I think that's out of order too.

Wishfulmakeupping · 07/10/2014 20:35

Far too late. Don't do her any favours in the future!

MumOfTheMoos · 07/10/2014 20:37

I have a rule of not phoning or knocking on a door after 9pm.

BeyondTheSea · 07/10/2014 20:41

Yes too late and she was very rude. definitely don't take parcels in for her again. I ignore the door some days as I am sick of being the parcel collector for the road!

Pumpkinpositive · 07/10/2014 21:09

I think 9:30 is getting to the upper end of what I'd consider acceptable.

If the lights are off and you know the householder has young kids then repeatedly knocking is not on. She clearly thinks her wants are far more important than your comfort.

Do as she suggests and accept no more parcels for her.

jamtoast12 · 07/10/2014 21:10

Don't agree too late if lights on but in your case with lights off then possibly yes.

However as a separate note, I do think if you agree to take a parcel then you make the effort to get it to them the same day. Or simply don't take it.

I'd never hold a parcel and just wait for someone to come to me and me and my neighbors do this all the time. It may be urgent etc and loads of times I've never even had a card through stating where it is. I've taken one for next door today and I delivered it the minute their car pulled up.

I get that the neighbour may have been home so could have come earlier etc but like I said sometimes you don't get a card (or it gets accidentally thrown out in junk mail) and only find out when tracking it or when you have to ring up.

Def shouldn't be banging on door if lights out but then it could have been urgent for the next day.

NoMilkNoSugar · 07/10/2014 21:47

Much too late! Especially now it's so dark. Don't blame you for not answering.

diddl · 08/10/2014 06:50

When do people think that it's too late then?

Doesn't anyone consider that others like to have some semblance of a quiet evening, maybe sit down at 9 to watch an hrs telly?

insancerre · 08/10/2014 06:56

These threads always make me laugh.
Someone knocked on your door?
How very rude

twofingerstoGideon · 08/10/2014 07:10

Exactly insancerre. How very entitled of someone to knock on your door, eh?

poolomoomon · 08/10/2014 07:41

She isn't rude for knocking on the door Hmm, she's rude for knocking on the door at 9.30 PM when all the lights are out.

I wouldn't knock at that time unless it was an emergency regardless of whether the lights were on or not. Evenings are peoples relaxation and wind down time, most people don't want to be answering the door in their pjs at that time. If 9.30 was the only time she'd ever be able to knock any day of the week then she should have made it clear in delivery instructions not to leave with a neighbour or put a notice on the door.

So yanbu at all OP. Also she should have only knocked once and got the hint when you didn't answer. Subsequently braying on the door isn't on and then she was rude on top of that. Tut.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 08/10/2014 07:47

Probably not too late to knock in a normal way, trying just once. Its boarderline as 10pm is too late imo unless you k ow the household stays up later and wouldn't mind.
However it's never an appropriate time to bash on the letter box though, unless there is somebody in danger!

OwlCapone · 08/10/2014 07:50

These threads always make me laugh.
Someone knocked on your door?
How very rude

So, you think it is perfectly polite to knock on someone's door latish at night when all the lights are out and there is no sound in the house and then hammer even more loudly on the door until someone gets out of bed and opens it...? Really?

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 08/10/2014 08:00

It always makes me Hmm that some people who stay up late on a week night poke mild ridicule at those who go to bed early and think its perfectly acceptable to assume everyone is still up and happy to be disturbed in the late evening, but that loads of people are up and about their business by 6.30am, yet nobody eversuggests its fine to do things that would wake those who sleep in til 8am or later...

treaclesoda · 08/10/2014 08:06

It's definitely rude to hammer on someone's door if the house is in darkness.

But a lot of posters are saying that they think it is rude to knock on the door at all because they might be relaxing, and it's family time etc. It only takes about ten seconds to hand over a parcel, so if you feel very strongly that you don't want interrupted for even such a short period of time then maybe it's best not to take parcels in for other people. I must admit that if I knocked on a neighbour's door and could see them going about their business inside, but they refused to answer the door to me, despite the fact they would know I was there for my parcel, I would think they were being deliberately awkward and would wonder why they were being so unpleasant to me.

treaclesoda · 08/10/2014 08:07

and I know my scenario isn't what happened to the OP, I was just generally musing.

PiratePanda · 08/10/2014 08:08

No. After 10 would be too late but one would expect at least one adult in a household to be up still at 9:30, or at the very least awake. And pyjamas? If you care, that's what dressing gowns are for.