Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that 9.30pm is too late to bang on the door for a parcel

155 replies

ScrambledEggAndToast · 07/10/2014 07:02

I took in a parcel for a neighbour yesterday and she came round at 9.30pm to collect it. She knocked and I ignored it at first as I was in my pyjamas, she then started bashing on the letter box which set off the dog and woke up DS. I did then open it and gave it to her but fold her I thought it was too late. The dog then didn't calm down for 15 minutes and my son didn't get back to sleep for ages.

What do you reckon, is 9.30 too late on a weekday?

OP posts:
BsshBosh · 07/10/2014 09:15

Usually I'd say 9.30 was fine but if the lights are off in the house then YANBU.

OnlyLovers · 07/10/2014 09:17

I agree with BsshBosh. 9.30 is totally reasonable UNLESS it looks like the household is empty/has gone to bed.

mutternutter · 07/10/2014 09:18

If it was summer when its light and I thought neighbours were up I would. But not if dark. We all take in parcels for each other and always will. Its part of being a good neighbour

Nerris · 07/10/2014 09:21

Yes it's too late. I would object to phonecalls at that time never mind someone coming to the door.
Also I'm on my own a lot with two young children, I wouldn't appreciate anyone banging on the door at that time. Anti-social definitely.

VestaCurry · 07/10/2014 09:21

Too late unless it's obviously medical supplies for someone in the house (stickers stating this are plastered on said parcels).
We don't bother our neighbours after 9pm and they do likewise. Has become an unspoken politeness between us.
What if you're in the middle of hot sex?

Excitedforxmas · 07/10/2014 09:23

Far too late. I never open my door after dark

NotMNRoyalty · 07/10/2014 09:25

Yes, it's too late especially if the lights are off. If you could see that people were up and about the it would be a bit better

AmandaTanen · 07/10/2014 09:30

9.30pm is late in this house, as to why it's late, my husband works shifts, so when you start at 4am in the morning, half 9 is after bedtime. It really shouldn't be a surprise that people have different bedtimes.

Jackie0 · 07/10/2014 09:34

Yes far too late, and not just for people with children. We are often in bed before this because we start work early and work long hours.

She was incredibly rude.

I saw on another thread recently people making the point that actually they would prefer the card through the door to tell them to collect from their local sorting office and that they don't want neighbours taking in their parcels.
Maybe Amazon or whoever could get customers preference when they order.

In answer to your post it is poor etiquette to disturb anyone after 9pm , in person or by phone unless it is an emergency.
When I was a child we weren't allowed to knock someone's door on a Sunday either.

flipchart · 07/10/2014 11:29

Blindly, I must have a street full of rude neighbour!
We don't normally get in until 9.30/9.45pm on Monday to Friday due to ferrying the boys to their sports clubs. Just as we are getting tea/supper someone often come round as I take in everyone's parcelas I am usually at home in the mornings

Vintagejazz · 07/10/2014 11:48

If the lights were still on then it's fair enough to presume someone is still up I suppose. But to call to a house in darkness, and then bang loudly on the door when it's not answered first time is bloody rude.

Not sure why someone told the OP to 'grow up'. I think that answer belongs on the 'oddest responses' thread.

DialsMavis · 07/10/2014 11:50

I wouldn't assume 9.30pm was too late, but I wouldn't knock if all the lights were off, as I would assume no-one in... & I certainly wouldn't be a dick about it when I realised I had disturbed someone.

diddl · 07/10/2014 11:51

But just because the lights are on & someone is up, doesn't mean that they want to be disturbed.

Especially by a rude neighbour!

Vintagejazz · 07/10/2014 11:57

Well that's true diddl. I'd often be in pjs at that time. And some people would be nervous about opening the door at night time.

Rusticated · 07/10/2014 12:36

Or the doorbell would disturb a sleeping baby or young child - we rent, and the bell would wake the dead, but is hard wired in. I think 9.30 on a weeknight is too late, unless the household is still obviously up and awake.

I sometimes in parcels for neighbours, but tell the postman or courier to leave a card saying where it's been left, as we're down an unmade lane from our nearest neighbours, and I can't honestly be faffing about putting on Wellingtons on me and toddler to walk up periodically to see whether they're home. I think I've done the favour in giving the parcel houseroom. It's not my job to make sure the neighbours get it ASAP.

Viviennemary · 07/10/2014 12:40

Yes I do think it was too late. And really rude of her to bang loudly till you answered. Usually people are grateful if you take in a parcel for them.

MarieSarah · 07/10/2014 14:34

I could knock on someone's door at 9.30 as until I read this thread, it wouldn;t even occur to me that some people might go to bed that early Blush

But if I see all the lights off, I would probably wait until the next day

Nancy66 · 07/10/2014 14:35

I wouldn't say it's too late but probably around cut off time.

ACheesePuff · 07/10/2014 14:38

Why did you ignore the knock? That's what caused all your problems.

If someone knocked on my door at 9.30 I would wonder who it was and be a little wary opening the door, I wouldn't just ignore it though, it could have been a neighbour in trouble or something important. Strange to ignore it.

diddl · 07/10/2014 14:50

"Why did you ignore the knock? That's what caused all your problems. "

No, what caused the problem was that the neighbour didn't take the hint & piss off!

NewEraNewMindset · 07/10/2014 15:30

Yes that's right. It is the OPs fault for not wanting to open her front door at 9.30pm when it is dark and she may have been home alone and fearful. Obviously nothing to do with the neighbour showing no manners and no gratitude for the OP taking the parcel in in the first place.

Sometimes I think I live on another planet reading posts on this forum.

DeWee · 07/10/2014 15:41

No not too late. I usually take parcels over when I see they're back if I don't want to be disturbed late.

Mouthfulofquiz · 07/10/2014 15:42

9:30 pm is way way way too late unless it's an emergency. I've got two little ones and I need to relax in my pjs in the evening and then I'm off to bed at about 9pm. I'm up again at midnight, 4am and 5:30...
So I would be less than impressed with anyone coming round at this time. With this in mind, I probably wouldn't accept parcels for people that I can't directly see their house so that I can see when they are in and quickly nip across.

Vintagejazz · 07/10/2014 15:44

Lots of people would ignore an unexpected knock on the door at 9.30 pm. Once the knocking became urgent the OP did answer the door (to discover it wasn't anything urgent at all).

Mouthfulofquiz · 07/10/2014 15:44

And your neighbour is a twat for being so rude. Nothing wrong with not answering your door - it's YOUR DOOR. Do with it what you want!
I didn't open the door to my own husband who came home early from work (was ringing the door to surprise me!) as I assumed it would be someone trying to sell something and I can't be arsed to deal with it when I'm looking after the kids...